weekend of change commences

Watching "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" and thinking about the last few days. I haven't slept (heat, stress) and getting more and more on edge, losing patience. Why? I think I realized why tonight. This weekend, the gym moves to a new location. In itself, not a bad thing - a new, larger space is good. But the reality of the situation is that moving to a new location means leaving the old one. It means that the transition is complete. And it's that part of this move that depresses me. That makes me unhappy and a bit depressed and on edge. It means closing one chapter in my life and starting another which I'm not sure how it will end. It hasn't been too bad with the location staying the same - Kruu is still there somehow, even if he's only around a couple days a week. But at a new location, it's a clean slate. And I'm not sure I like that.

So it's going to be a rough weekend emotion-wise. Definitely conflicting emotions. I moved my gear out of the change room today, for the first time in 3 years. Felt strange. I guess I just want things to go back to the way they were.

I spent a few hours training tonight, hands only to save my leg. Last real training session at a gym which has been my life, my home, for the last 3 years.

Funny, I see Bob all the time, socially. I have no hesitations showing up on his doorstep. But I only see Kruu once a week. It's not the same. I enjoy our growing friendship, I really do. But I do miss the teaching, the mentorship, the guidance, knowing that someone is watching over my training, wanting me to get better. It's strange feeling so divided. I guess it can be either one or the other, not both, eh? Doesn't mean I have to like it.