Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a composite deity composed of two separate, and distinct parts. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Pastafarianism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit. Bobby Henderson is the guru of this religion. He too, has huge, spicy meatballs.
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most edible and fastest-growing religion.
The One True Monster
Though he is called Monster, he really is not one, he is the love of all lives, hence "Flying Spaghetti Lover" (yes with BIG BIG Noodly Appendages, so non-gays BEWARE). As previously noted, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is composed of two separate, and distinct parts (three if it happens to be covered in Parmesan cheese).
Long ago, His Noodliness decided, in his great wisdom, to make stuff. His first task was easily the most difficult. On the first day, he made a mountain, trees and a "midgit" (sic). The midgit (sic) took the greatest time, as He had to create a small human, having never even created a human before. At the end of that day, it was so, at which point, He spent the next 3 days making everything else, including the first 3-day weekend, the Shroud of Napkin, and fake carbon atoms to fool scientists and geologists. He then rested on the 5th, 6th and 7th days.
He initially created cave men with the intention of making a race that could be looked down upon by humans, but upon offending Him greatly, they were destroyed. He then created the dinosaurs as a companion to man. However, too many pirate ships sank due to the dinosaurs' great size, so they too were destroyed. The same happened with the giant sloth and the woolly mammoth. The dodo actually passed the test, but this was the result of a clerical error and was corrected when humans invaded the dodos' abode on an island.
The image on the right is a diagram depicting the FSM's role in creating the world. Ancient drawings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by cave people. The Flying Spaghetti Monster was so displeased by this rendition, He turned them into piles of fossils to test the faith of His followers. The blue lines are speed lines.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the sole deity in the monotheistic religion known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMism pronounced 'effessmisum'). It has widely been accepted as fact that this, and only this is the true religion, just as the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true Creator and Overseer.
Modern separatists (mostly European youth) worship a simpler and hipper icon and spread the word via the rear chrome of their Vespas .
Like the Bible, much of Flying Spaghetti Monsterist lore was passed from generation to generation, much like The Odyssey, The Iliad, and The Simpsons. This was, of course, until it was codified in 1492. There are numerous records of this event as well. The foremost expert on this matter, Bobby Henderson (pasta be upon him), is a descendent of the original codifier.
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the true religion. Much like the trickster, God, of Christianity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster also deceives the scientific world. This is possible only because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only all-powerful being, and only all-powerful beings can change laboratory results unbeknownst to their finders, showing that the Flying Spaghetti Monster must, in fact, exist. Bear in mind that His ways are mysterious, and there are numerous texts that explain why.
There are at least 18,000 Flying Spaghetti Monsterists in the world today, but due to persecution, they often remain in hiding. However, a recent movement by Bobby Henderson, the foremost expert on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism and descendant of The Codifier shows promise in bringing them into the spotlight
For more information on the FSM, see the above link to the Church, or see Uncylopedia.
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