Lesson for this evening:
CARDIO
CARDIO
CARDIO
HANDS UP!!!
HANDS UP!!
CARDIO
CARDIO
MORE CARDIO!!!
MUST KEEP HANDS UP TO PROTECT FACE!!!!
Otherwise bad things happen to one's face...
Oh man, what a class!! Only 4 of us for this evening's class so we spent 3/4 of the time sparring. Wow. Aside from sporting a few new bruises, I'm going to sleep well tonight!! I was trashed by the end of the class! Completely exhausted. Lots of fun, a great learning experience, but holy shit. I have to learn to punch straight down the pipe more, and not throw loose hooks. I can't seem to judge the time to break into someone's guard.
I will survive. I will persevere and learn how to spar and ultimately fight. I need to relax, not be so tense, not rush.
Maybe that's good advice for life outside of the ring as well? Hedgehog food for thought...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
fuck it.
Whew. What a day. Started off with science fair related problems and a prime sponsor who was a bit confused and pissed off. I hate to bring attention to errors by friends, but when it impacts heavily on a partnership, I have to. CWSF 2008 relies on our partners first and foremost. Sorry man, didn't mean to call you out, but I can't let careless mistakes go through without some sort of comment.
The afternoon was spent being thrown into a snake pit, presenting a project proposal. I'm shocked. I think that's about as much as I can say. Not because I am holding my tongue (did enough of that in the meeting!), but simply because I don't know how to react. Honestly, I begin to wonder how long I'm going to last in this position before I completely lose my brain. Well, minimum of 2 years since I now have a letter of reprimand in my file that sits there for 2 years!! But seriously, I don't know. Everything moves so slowly. Not that I don't like the job, not that I don't think what I'm doing is important, but more and more my belief and optimism in the system is beaten down. Fuck it. I sat at the table at this meeting this afternoon and had to both bite my tongue and hold myself back from saying what I really thought. Heaven forbid I'm learning to be diplomatic!! But fuck man, some of the shit I had to listen to from my arch enemy. Man oh man. The bullshit flew!
I feel a bit lost today. Unsure. Unhappy also. I feel like I'm closing up again, which is a very, very bad thing. Becoming increasingly distrusting. Staff and management. Us and them. More and more I'm beginning to believe that this is how the world runs all over and nothing will ever change. I've found myself at the point in the last couple of weeks that coming home after the day, I totally put the day behind me. I don't want to think about it, don't want to talk about it. I want to go to the gym, relax, take the dog for a walk. Tonight, I'm relaxing and taking the dog for a walk and having a beer.
Dunno. Maybe that's just the tiredness talking. Or the feeling of defeat from the day.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Yup.
Dog is gnawing away on a marrow bone. Hip joint actually! I just made supper for the next week. Maybe I should have gone to the gym. No. I probably would have hurt myself. I've got a few bruises from Kali last night too. Sticks and knives flying all over the place.
See, being called out on my blog by the powers that be has stifled my writing. However, with a changed address, maybe I should just let loose again. At least it will get my frustrations out. Better than bringing Bob's beautiful Filipino sword to work and going postal... Be a shame to get blood on that cool steel... :) Kidding.
The afternoon was spent being thrown into a snake pit, presenting a project proposal. I'm shocked. I think that's about as much as I can say. Not because I am holding my tongue (did enough of that in the meeting!), but simply because I don't know how to react. Honestly, I begin to wonder how long I'm going to last in this position before I completely lose my brain. Well, minimum of 2 years since I now have a letter of reprimand in my file that sits there for 2 years!! But seriously, I don't know. Everything moves so slowly. Not that I don't like the job, not that I don't think what I'm doing is important, but more and more my belief and optimism in the system is beaten down. Fuck it. I sat at the table at this meeting this afternoon and had to both bite my tongue and hold myself back from saying what I really thought. Heaven forbid I'm learning to be diplomatic!! But fuck man, some of the shit I had to listen to from my arch enemy. Man oh man. The bullshit flew!
I feel a bit lost today. Unsure. Unhappy also. I feel like I'm closing up again, which is a very, very bad thing. Becoming increasingly distrusting. Staff and management. Us and them. More and more I'm beginning to believe that this is how the world runs all over and nothing will ever change. I've found myself at the point in the last couple of weeks that coming home after the day, I totally put the day behind me. I don't want to think about it, don't want to talk about it. I want to go to the gym, relax, take the dog for a walk. Tonight, I'm relaxing and taking the dog for a walk and having a beer.
Dunno. Maybe that's just the tiredness talking. Or the feeling of defeat from the day.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Yup.
Dog is gnawing away on a marrow bone. Hip joint actually! I just made supper for the next week. Maybe I should have gone to the gym. No. I probably would have hurt myself. I've got a few bruises from Kali last night too. Sticks and knives flying all over the place.
See, being called out on my blog by the powers that be has stifled my writing. However, with a changed address, maybe I should just let loose again. At least it will get my frustrations out. Better than bringing Bob's beautiful Filipino sword to work and going postal... Be a shame to get blood on that cool steel... :) Kidding.
Monday, March 12, 2007
catching up
Lack of judgement.
Sucking up.
Gone over the dark side.
Stating untruths about coworkers (ha!! not 'untruths' - more like silent truths!)
All phrases I have heard in the last 2 weeks from members of my working environment. Along with general comments, incidents and reactions in the last month or so, I'm truly beginning to question my work environment. I feel like I have to be looking over my shoulder at all corners, having to be very aware of what comes out of my mouth and apparently even who I talk or laugh with. I've decided that any friendly working relationship has to be turned back into a professional one and not a cross-breed. I have an inner sanctum of safety amongst like-minded individuals, and I believe that this group is the only one with which I can be myself and talk freely. Becoming a science communicator takes you out of your own little publishing-based bubble and throws you into the gladiator arena where politics and hierarchy rules. It's a bit strange. I'm very aware of how isolated scientists and researchers are in their normal day-to-day lives.
Anyway... calm, calm, calm.
I've also become very, VERY possessive of my time away from the arena. In the evenings, I head to my own sanctum - the academy, and beat the crap out of heavy bags and pads. It's definitely worthwhile, takes out all extra energy and frustration. But even that has been invaded to a point, but I think I can deal with that.
I bought the Lonely Planet Guide to Cambodia over the weekend. I figure I'll leave Ottawa just before Christmas and go to Thailand for 2 weeks, then head to Vietnam, and finish in Cambodia, house building for the Tabitha Foundation and then spending a few days touring around the country.
2 hours of Muay Thai tonight, and then an hour of Kali. Can't wait. I've signed up for a 2 day workshop on Jeet Kune Do and Kali in a few weeks. It's going to be great!!
continued later...
Wow, a triple-header tonight at the academy. Woo hoo!! I'm exhausted though. Need sleep.
I got offered a Filipino sword to buy, one of Bob's Damascus swords, REALLY cool! We need to haggle out a price, but I'm seriously considering it. Beautiful sword. We'll see. :) I'm thinking of asking him to make me a really good butcher knife as well.
Sore. Tired. But it felt good to get the day's tension out of my body. I have a big bruise on the top of my right foot, but I'm not entirely sure where it came from . Sparring on Friday night? Dunno.
I think I need food. Although I don't think I'll do that as my weight hasn't been dropping all that fast lately. Down to 167 lbs which is great, but still a long ways to go. Need to start doing a bit more cardio, but getting up early in the morning to hop on the bike trainer? Nope. Can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit more.
Sucking up.
Gone over the dark side.
Stating untruths about coworkers (ha!! not 'untruths' - more like silent truths!)
All phrases I have heard in the last 2 weeks from members of my working environment. Along with general comments, incidents and reactions in the last month or so, I'm truly beginning to question my work environment. I feel like I have to be looking over my shoulder at all corners, having to be very aware of what comes out of my mouth and apparently even who I talk or laugh with. I've decided that any friendly working relationship has to be turned back into a professional one and not a cross-breed. I have an inner sanctum of safety amongst like-minded individuals, and I believe that this group is the only one with which I can be myself and talk freely. Becoming a science communicator takes you out of your own little publishing-based bubble and throws you into the gladiator arena where politics and hierarchy rules. It's a bit strange. I'm very aware of how isolated scientists and researchers are in their normal day-to-day lives.
Anyway... calm, calm, calm.
I've also become very, VERY possessive of my time away from the arena. In the evenings, I head to my own sanctum - the academy, and beat the crap out of heavy bags and pads. It's definitely worthwhile, takes out all extra energy and frustration. But even that has been invaded to a point, but I think I can deal with that.
I bought the Lonely Planet Guide to Cambodia over the weekend. I figure I'll leave Ottawa just before Christmas and go to Thailand for 2 weeks, then head to Vietnam, and finish in Cambodia, house building for the Tabitha Foundation and then spending a few days touring around the country.
2 hours of Muay Thai tonight, and then an hour of Kali. Can't wait. I've signed up for a 2 day workshop on Jeet Kune Do and Kali in a few weeks. It's going to be great!!
continued later...
Wow, a triple-header tonight at the academy. Woo hoo!! I'm exhausted though. Need sleep.
I got offered a Filipino sword to buy, one of Bob's Damascus swords, REALLY cool! We need to haggle out a price, but I'm seriously considering it. Beautiful sword. We'll see. :) I'm thinking of asking him to make me a really good butcher knife as well.
Sore. Tired. But it felt good to get the day's tension out of my body. I have a big bruise on the top of my right foot, but I'm not entirely sure where it came from . Sparring on Friday night? Dunno.
I think I need food. Although I don't think I'll do that as my weight hasn't been dropping all that fast lately. Down to 167 lbs which is great, but still a long ways to go. Need to start doing a bit more cardio, but getting up early in the morning to hop on the bike trainer? Nope. Can't wait for the weather to warm up a bit more.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
UFC 68 and hoplology
What a messed up day. I got home late last night (this morning?) after watching UFC 68 at TJ Pagoda's (Randy Couture regains his belt - woo hoo!, Matt Hughes wins over Lytle, and Rich Franklin's back on the score board with a win over Canadian Jason MacDonald). Finally got to sleep around 2am and was woken up at 3am by the dog whining. Stupidly didn't take him out, and was woken up about 2 hours later with him whining again, and also with a distinct smell in the air. Argh. Apparently the combination of a new (huge) marrow bone and a raw egg at dinner did not sit well with the puppy and, well, there was a big mess in the living room. An hour later, I managed to get back to bed after cleaning up the mess and taking him out. My mistake, poor guy.
I was chatting with some of our MT gang last night and had a relevation after chatting about sparring: guys don't like sparring with girls who can actually fight back! One of the guys I partnered with on Friday evening was really nervous, anxious, and our round got a bit rough with him doing some damage in the clinch. Talking with Michael, he made me realize that guys, generally, are fine sparring with a girl until they become dominant at all, then they get all testosterone-ridden and need to prove their manliness. I guess as a female fighter, I don't really have any issues fighting anyone - girl, guy, doesn't matter as long as they'll fight fairly.
I learned a new word on Friday: Hoplology
Hoplology: the study of the evolution and development of human combative behavior. This study encompasses the segment of human culture concerned with weapons, armor, combative accouterments and fighting systems, in regard to their technical characteristics and the ways in which they interact with the economic, political, social and religious institutions of human societies.
"The history of arms and armour, their connection and their transitions, plays the most important part in the annals of the world." Burton, Sir Richard F. 1884 The Book of the Sword.London: Chatto and Windus, p. 1
There's even an International Hoplology Society. Why was I looking at this site, you may ask? Simply because I got into a discuss with Bob on Friday about Asian martial arts in general, their evolution, and how hard it is to track down some of the history of these arts as there has been nothing written down (all the techniques have been handed down through generations).
Weird day here anyway, with being woken up throughout the night to pick up dog mess that is. Spent most of it relaxing, watching a few movies, taking the dog for a long walk, 30 min on the bike. Back to the grind tomorrow with a meeting at 10am. Jay's in town this week and giving a lecture at Carleton. Yeah!! Banff reunion!!
I was chatting with some of our MT gang last night and had a relevation after chatting about sparring: guys don't like sparring with girls who can actually fight back! One of the guys I partnered with on Friday evening was really nervous, anxious, and our round got a bit rough with him doing some damage in the clinch. Talking with Michael, he made me realize that guys, generally, are fine sparring with a girl until they become dominant at all, then they get all testosterone-ridden and need to prove their manliness. I guess as a female fighter, I don't really have any issues fighting anyone - girl, guy, doesn't matter as long as they'll fight fairly.
I learned a new word on Friday: Hoplology
Hoplology: the study of the evolution and development of human combative behavior. This study encompasses the segment of human culture concerned with weapons, armor, combative accouterments and fighting systems, in regard to their technical characteristics and the ways in which they interact with the economic, political, social and religious institutions of human societies.
"The history of arms and armour, their connection and their transitions, plays the most important part in the annals of the world." Burton, Sir Richard F. 1884 The Book of the Sword.London: Chatto and Windus, p. 1
There's even an International Hoplology Society. Why was I looking at this site, you may ask? Simply because I got into a discuss with Bob on Friday about Asian martial arts in general, their evolution, and how hard it is to track down some of the history of these arts as there has been nothing written down (all the techniques have been handed down through generations).
Weird day here anyway, with being woken up throughout the night to pick up dog mess that is. Spent most of it relaxing, watching a few movies, taking the dog for a long walk, 30 min on the bike. Back to the grind tomorrow with a meeting at 10am. Jay's in town this week and giving a lecture at Carleton. Yeah!! Banff reunion!!
Friday, March 02, 2007
3.5 hrs at the academy
Today was one of those days where nothing I had planned came through. The weather blasted us with a nasty storm, ice pellets and such, so I had to cancel on a tour I was supposed to give, as well as the screening of "Flock of Dodos" in the afternoon. I rescheduled the screening for next Friday, same time. I wound up spending the day at home, sorting things out, working, etc. Late in the afternoon, I headed to the academy for Kali. Turns out no one else was there, so Bob gave me a private lesson: went through all 36 steps of the numbering system and then a number of knife techniques. Sometimes it's really frustrating. He makes it look so bloody easy!! Years and years of practice. I stayed after that class and did almost 2 hours of Muay Thai practice! Lots of shadow boxing, bag work, footwork, and then actually went 4 rounds in the ring, sparring with various people. Yeah!!! Got whacked good in the knee so am now using a frozen bag of edamme on and off for 10 min to get the swelling down. Man, I need to get my cardio up further. It's pretty good, but I just die in the ring (as I think most people do!). More biking, more biking, more biking. In total, I spent about 3.5 hours at the academy tonight!! Feels great to be back after 2 weeks off. Also great to have Bob back. Not that the young guys aren't good, but Bob keeps things a bit more on the level.
Came home and wolfed down some supper, now am icing my knee and enjoying the NamNam smell! I'm going to go down to China Town tomorrow and get some Chinese linament that is apparently good for bone injuries. Hey, if it helps, great! Then tomorrow night is UFC 68. Gonna be an awesome bunch of fights!! UFC and a couple of beers and all is well in the world. Really, it doesn't take much to make me happy. Pretty simple!
Came home and wolfed down some supper, now am icing my knee and enjoying the NamNam smell! I'm going to go down to China Town tomorrow and get some Chinese linament that is apparently good for bone injuries. Hey, if it helps, great! Then tomorrow night is UFC 68. Gonna be an awesome bunch of fights!! UFC and a couple of beers and all is well in the world. Really, it doesn't take much to make me happy. Pretty simple!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Technetium-99
Bone scan done - check!
Results from bone scan - in progress
Technetium-99 has a half-life of 6 hours, and is produced by beta-decay from Mo-99, or as a by-product of nuclear energy production. It's one of the most common tracers used in nuclear medicine, including the bone scan I had yesterday.
It was definitely an interesting experience. The technician took scans of my leg to check bloodflow before injecting the tracer, gave me the injection (oh, did I mention I HATE needles?!!) and then sent me on my way for 2 hours. I came back later and she did scans of my legs on various angles. I managed to get a bit of information out of her, but she's not the one who interprets the scans nor writes the report for my doctor. I did get a chance to watch the images forming and note that there is a definite 'bright spot' (ie. high concentrations of technetium) exactly where the pain in my left leg is localized. However, the bright spot could be anything - healing bone, bone disease, cancer, shin splint, stress fracture. So, I have to wait a week for the results and talk to my doctor. Very frustrating, but at least we're closer to solving the problem. I'm pretty convinced it's a stress fracture. At least it's not aggrevated by Muay Thai.
I went to CycleLogik and got fit for my new Cervelo today. Yeah!! I fit perfectly onto a 51 cm frame. Ian is going to set me up with a 2nd seat and headpiece for the seat stem so that I can easily switch to a tri position for TT's. Unfortunately (or fortunately for my finances!) the bike won't be in until April. The tubes are made in California, shipped to Taiwan for welding, and then back to Toronto to be built. Strange trip this bike makes!
I am giving a trombone lesson tonight... in French. This is Claudia's 2nd lesson (she's 11) and it's always an interesting time as she doesn't speak much English and my French vocabulary does not include musical terms! Her father generally acts as a translator. I have to find something for the dog to do - the last time she was here, he was acutely interested in what was happening, and would start howling along with her playing! Especially in the upper range.
Results from bone scan - in progress
Technetium-99 has a half-life of 6 hours, and is produced by beta-decay from Mo-99, or as a by-product of nuclear energy production. It's one of the most common tracers used in nuclear medicine, including the bone scan I had yesterday.
It was definitely an interesting experience. The technician took scans of my leg to check bloodflow before injecting the tracer, gave me the injection (oh, did I mention I HATE needles?!!) and then sent me on my way for 2 hours. I came back later and she did scans of my legs on various angles. I managed to get a bit of information out of her, but she's not the one who interprets the scans nor writes the report for my doctor. I did get a chance to watch the images forming and note that there is a definite 'bright spot' (ie. high concentrations of technetium) exactly where the pain in my left leg is localized. However, the bright spot could be anything - healing bone, bone disease, cancer, shin splint, stress fracture. So, I have to wait a week for the results and talk to my doctor. Very frustrating, but at least we're closer to solving the problem. I'm pretty convinced it's a stress fracture. At least it's not aggrevated by Muay Thai.
I went to CycleLogik and got fit for my new Cervelo today. Yeah!! I fit perfectly onto a 51 cm frame. Ian is going to set me up with a 2nd seat and headpiece for the seat stem so that I can easily switch to a tri position for TT's. Unfortunately (or fortunately for my finances!) the bike won't be in until April. The tubes are made in California, shipped to Taiwan for welding, and then back to Toronto to be built. Strange trip this bike makes!
I am giving a trombone lesson tonight... in French. This is Claudia's 2nd lesson (she's 11) and it's always an interesting time as she doesn't speak much English and my French vocabulary does not include musical terms! Her father generally acts as a translator. I have to find something for the dog to do - the last time she was here, he was acutely interested in what was happening, and would start howling along with her playing! Especially in the upper range.
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