feeling blah. and frustrated.

ARgh. Been a long time since I've posted, but I really should because lately I'm feeling really frustrated. Whether it's my job, training, sleeping patterns, or eating, I'm just feeling like nothing is really going right. Maybe I should go check with the doctor to make sure I'm healthy, generally, before I struggle to sort this out anymore. I'm attempting to lose weight and get down to the weight I want to fight at, but it's soooooo slow coming. This week I actually gained 2 lbs! Frustrating, very frustrating. But I think my body is confused - either not getting enough to eat, or too much. I'm useless at getting up in the morning, which I think is a combination of having no motivation to get up and go to work and being tired from training and whatever bad combination of food. I'm getting really pissed off and depressed. The last I was really enjoying getting up in the morning was while we were in Truro. Now? Just feeling blah. blah blah blah blah. Not terribly a good way to live each day. I'm behind in everything from work to housework to getting miles on my bike before Rideau Lakes. Why? Maybe I should contact my therapist again and have a bit of a chat, sort out where this bleakness, this complete lack of motivation for work is coming from. I'm feeling very motivated for training and the science fair. If I could train all day and do science fair work, all would be good! But that's just not realistic. I just feel like shit whenever I'm not at the gym.

FUCK.