Fuck.
FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
fuck.
two comments, hopefully made as a joke, I take them seriously, got me all fucked up and insecure.
fuck.
just peachy.
why oh why can't I just relax sometimes?
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Being a foodie
I have discovered that there are distinct disadvantages to being a "foodie" - an appreciator of good food and, of course, good wine. It means that I'm a food and wine snob, and that going out to restaurants can often be a disappointing experience.
Tonight, we had our pre-2008/2009-science-fair dinner at Bella's, an Italian restaurant just down the street from me. It's moderately priced - mains range from $17-$35 (pastas, veal, steak, etc.). After an internal debate about what to eat, I decided that my 10 km run at lunch would allow me to have a good dinner, so I had mussels for an appetizer, and salmon as my main. Dessert was a "dense flourless chocolate cake", which, as was pointed out to me, is impossible - the terms "dense" and "flourless" are oxymorons.
The mussels, I must admit, were very good - well cooked and they were the small, firm ones - not the large, mushy ones we often get in the summer. The salmon though, not up to par for the price. It came with 3 small baby potatoes, 4 small beans, one piece of cauliflower, and one broccoli floweret. Not enough green for my liking, but oh well. The salmon was okay. Not bad, but not terribly good. I have realized that given my interest in cooking, my vast eating experience in so many countries and so many good restaurants ranging from mom-and-pop food stalls to 5 star restaurants in France, I'm very critical of restaurant food. The dessert was good though, although it wasn't dense in the least!! It certainly was chocolately and rich!
Anyway, a good evening was had by all. Dr. Roy, if you're reading, it was great to see you again as it's been way, way too long and we really need to do cidre more often, no matter how busy we both are.
I had debated whether or not to go or whether to go to the gym and train. I think I made the right choice. Actually, my left arm is killing me from the drills yesterday so best to give it a break. Coming back to full-time training HURTS! I really have to learn to stay in top form, not go through this roller coaster in-shape/out-of-shape ride. Not that I'm really "out of shape" - it's all relative, right? I'm just not as in shape as I was before Iowa. It's all perception in my own head.
Tonight, we had our pre-2008/2009-science-fair dinner at Bella's, an Italian restaurant just down the street from me. It's moderately priced - mains range from $17-$35 (pastas, veal, steak, etc.). After an internal debate about what to eat, I decided that my 10 km run at lunch would allow me to have a good dinner, so I had mussels for an appetizer, and salmon as my main. Dessert was a "dense flourless chocolate cake", which, as was pointed out to me, is impossible - the terms "dense" and "flourless" are oxymorons.
The mussels, I must admit, were very good - well cooked and they were the small, firm ones - not the large, mushy ones we often get in the summer. The salmon though, not up to par for the price. It came with 3 small baby potatoes, 4 small beans, one piece of cauliflower, and one broccoli floweret. Not enough green for my liking, but oh well. The salmon was okay. Not bad, but not terribly good. I have realized that given my interest in cooking, my vast eating experience in so many countries and so many good restaurants ranging from mom-and-pop food stalls to 5 star restaurants in France, I'm very critical of restaurant food. The dessert was good though, although it wasn't dense in the least!! It certainly was chocolately and rich!
Anyway, a good evening was had by all. Dr. Roy, if you're reading, it was great to see you again as it's been way, way too long and we really need to do cidre more often, no matter how busy we both are.
I had debated whether or not to go or whether to go to the gym and train. I think I made the right choice. Actually, my left arm is killing me from the drills yesterday so best to give it a break. Coming back to full-time training HURTS! I really have to learn to stay in top form, not go through this roller coaster in-shape/out-of-shape ride. Not that I'm really "out of shape" - it's all relative, right? I'm just not as in shape as I was before Iowa. It's all perception in my own head.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Better start to the week
It's only Monday, but it's a much better start to the week than the last. The weekend was actually enjoyable, even though Saturday was actually spent working. Sunday, I got my first "dive" in since Thailand - in a pool to fix a drain! However, it was fun, albeit slightly cold compared to the south Andaman Sea! It did give me the opportunity to practice the techniques required for suiting-up and diving, all the safety procedures. It was fun though, and fun to help out friends.
Today, I spent most of the day working on a new mineral species proposal, which meant talking to Andy and sorting out what is turning out to be a F-H2O-OH-CO3 problem. But it's always good talking to him - I miss seeing him regularly so I'm always happy to have the opportunity to chat with him.
Back on track with training today - a run at lunch and a Thai class this evening. I feel like my left kick has deserted me, but Kruu says it's ok. It was a rough class for me though - I felt "off" for the entire time, sluggish, and not moving. More girly too - feeling kinda wimpy. During one of the boxing drills, I kept moving in towards Mike, not out, away from his punches. I need to learn not to move in to my opponent but away, angling off, otherwise I'm going to be eating alot of hits!
My roller coaster emotions seem to be strongly controlled by the people around me, who I deal with on a day-to-day basis. But not just regular people - people whose opinions I value highly, and whose affirmation I need. I should be able to exist with being happy with myself, with gaining personal affirmation of my importance as a person, but it seems I'm incapable of that. I need positive reinforcement, people to be happy with me, to like me. I get very distraught when I think that my friends are unhappy or mad at me. I should be okay with my own self. Easier said than done.
Cryptic eh? The problem is that I'm having a battle within myself trying to sort out one relationship in particular but am trying to leave names out of it to protect the innocent. Grin! But I need to stop caring what other people think, no matter who it is (to an extent), and just live my life in the best possible way. Work hard, play hard, be happy with the way things are. That's my goal for the next while.
Today, I spent most of the day working on a new mineral species proposal, which meant talking to Andy and sorting out what is turning out to be a F-H2O-OH-CO3 problem. But it's always good talking to him - I miss seeing him regularly so I'm always happy to have the opportunity to chat with him.
Back on track with training today - a run at lunch and a Thai class this evening. I feel like my left kick has deserted me, but Kruu says it's ok. It was a rough class for me though - I felt "off" for the entire time, sluggish, and not moving. More girly too - feeling kinda wimpy. During one of the boxing drills, I kept moving in towards Mike, not out, away from his punches. I need to learn not to move in to my opponent but away, angling off, otherwise I'm going to be eating alot of hits!
My roller coaster emotions seem to be strongly controlled by the people around me, who I deal with on a day-to-day basis. But not just regular people - people whose opinions I value highly, and whose affirmation I need. I should be able to exist with being happy with myself, with gaining personal affirmation of my importance as a person, but it seems I'm incapable of that. I need positive reinforcement, people to be happy with me, to like me. I get very distraught when I think that my friends are unhappy or mad at me. I should be okay with my own self. Easier said than done.
Cryptic eh? The problem is that I'm having a battle within myself trying to sort out one relationship in particular but am trying to leave names out of it to protect the innocent. Grin! But I need to stop caring what other people think, no matter who it is (to an extent), and just live my life in the best possible way. Work hard, play hard, be happy with the way things are. That's my goal for the next while.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thai demo and Italian wine
It's amazing how up and down emotions can be - a psychotic roller coaster. The last 24 hours have been really, really messed up. And I've come to realize that I do this to myself!! It's the snark in my head that seems to control how I'm feeling - the snark needs to find a new residence.
Yesterday, 4 of us went to the SuperEx and did a Muay Thai demonstration at one of the stages. Not many people there given it was a Friday afternoon, but we spent 45 minutes demonstrating all the techniques, the Ram Muay, and having a mock fight. An enjoyable way to spend the afternoon. I have a couple of passes to the Ex if I want to use them tomorrow. Although it really holds no interest for me - the rides make me hurl and the food is all shit that I want to stay away from starting this weekend.
Afterwards, I dropped the boys back at the academy and I stayed to hit the bags for a while, then do Kali. Kruu had me go through a 12-count Villebrille "chicken step" series. It makes my head hurt. There is something about the syncopation between the stick, dagger and my feet that just doesn't click with me. I had to break it down slowly - feet only, then hands only. But even then, it takes me forever to get the sequence looking somewhat smooth.
Last night, we had a mineralogy gang wine tasting over at Scott's place - Italian wines this time, with a 18 year old Port as the finisher. Long night!! I finally made it home around 1am, which, for me, is a really late night so this morning has been hard (especially since I'm working, babysitting a building). But it was nice to get together with the gang and have some fun. The minor headache this morning isn't so much fun though!
Between the wine tasting, squash on Thursday, and a good demo and session at the gym yesterday afternoon, I'm feeling alot better. How long that will last, that's the question and problem. Wild mood swings seem to be the order of the day lately. I have to stop worrying about what other people think. That's a huge problem I have. I get myself all worked up about what someone else might be thinking or feeling, and then everything turns out fine anyway. I always think the worst will happen. Eternal pessimist that I am. If I was able to just let the world unravel as it wishes too, without worrying, I would be better off. But no, the snark in my head starts to psychoanalyse every little detail, I think too much, and get myself into such a headstate that it starts affecting how I deal with others. Definitely a problem I need to sort out.
So today is Day 1 back on the wagon with food and training. No more Jelly Bellies. No more alcohol. No more shit food that doesn't offer me anything other than pleasure. Eating will be for nutrition and not pleasure. I want to get back down to 145 lbs at a normal rate, without my body going into shock and rejecting me. Today is Day 1. It's going to hurt, I know. It means detoxing my system of all the crap and carbs that I have been eagerly consuming for the last 6 weeks. Those cravings will take a while to curb. But I can do it. I've done it before.
Yesterday, 4 of us went to the SuperEx and did a Muay Thai demonstration at one of the stages. Not many people there given it was a Friday afternoon, but we spent 45 minutes demonstrating all the techniques, the Ram Muay, and having a mock fight. An enjoyable way to spend the afternoon. I have a couple of passes to the Ex if I want to use them tomorrow. Although it really holds no interest for me - the rides make me hurl and the food is all shit that I want to stay away from starting this weekend.
Afterwards, I dropped the boys back at the academy and I stayed to hit the bags for a while, then do Kali. Kruu had me go through a 12-count Villebrille "chicken step" series. It makes my head hurt. There is something about the syncopation between the stick, dagger and my feet that just doesn't click with me. I had to break it down slowly - feet only, then hands only. But even then, it takes me forever to get the sequence looking somewhat smooth.
Last night, we had a mineralogy gang wine tasting over at Scott's place - Italian wines this time, with a 18 year old Port as the finisher. Long night!! I finally made it home around 1am, which, for me, is a really late night so this morning has been hard (especially since I'm working, babysitting a building). But it was nice to get together with the gang and have some fun. The minor headache this morning isn't so much fun though!
Between the wine tasting, squash on Thursday, and a good demo and session at the gym yesterday afternoon, I'm feeling alot better. How long that will last, that's the question and problem. Wild mood swings seem to be the order of the day lately. I have to stop worrying about what other people think. That's a huge problem I have. I get myself all worked up about what someone else might be thinking or feeling, and then everything turns out fine anyway. I always think the worst will happen. Eternal pessimist that I am. If I was able to just let the world unravel as it wishes too, without worrying, I would be better off. But no, the snark in my head starts to psychoanalyse every little detail, I think too much, and get myself into such a headstate that it starts affecting how I deal with others. Definitely a problem I need to sort out.
So today is Day 1 back on the wagon with food and training. No more Jelly Bellies. No more alcohol. No more shit food that doesn't offer me anything other than pleasure. Eating will be for nutrition and not pleasure. I want to get back down to 145 lbs at a normal rate, without my body going into shock and rejecting me. Today is Day 1. It's going to hurt, I know. It means detoxing my system of all the crap and carbs that I have been eagerly consuming for the last 6 weeks. Those cravings will take a while to curb. But I can do it. I've done it before.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Zen of squash
Tonight was my 2nd squash outing in more than a year. More like 1.5 years. I keep thinking I'm going to play horribly, but amazingly, I've been pretty good! Okay, last week, my technique was off, the rust on the racquet took a while to shake off, but my endurance and footwork were actually really good. Tonight was 25 times better. There is still a micron-thick layer of rust, but it's peeling away very quickly. My shots were excellent tonight, even my serve. And my endurance and footwork were great. Of course not up to what they could be, but for being off for more than a year, not too shabby!
The one thing I did discover is that I am a more mature, patient, calm player than I was before. And here, I can only attribute this to learning not to be a bruiser in the ring. Muay Thai has taught me patience, to be calmer and strike when the opportunity presents itself, and not to be simply thrash about in anger or out of emotional. Cold and calculating.
All those lessons are directly applicable to squash. Before, I played squash like I spar - hard. It took me many years of playing with A-level players to learn that wacking the ball as hard as I could wasn't going to win me matches - they simply used my power against me. Same thing in the ring - simply brawling isn't going to win me fights. I have to think, plan, be smart about every punch and kick, every shot on the court.
Squash and Muay Thai - definitely a good match, physically and mentally.
I realized tonight that if I play more than just City League, say two other times during the week or the weekend, I'm going to be unstoppable on the court. My anaerobic threshold is huge, and I can run from the front to the back of the court without any effort to get shots which I would have just given up on before. This is going to be a good season. Still some rust to work off, but that's to be expected.
The one thing I did discover is that I am a more mature, patient, calm player than I was before. And here, I can only attribute this to learning not to be a bruiser in the ring. Muay Thai has taught me patience, to be calmer and strike when the opportunity presents itself, and not to be simply thrash about in anger or out of emotional. Cold and calculating.
All those lessons are directly applicable to squash. Before, I played squash like I spar - hard. It took me many years of playing with A-level players to learn that wacking the ball as hard as I could wasn't going to win me matches - they simply used my power against me. Same thing in the ring - simply brawling isn't going to win me fights. I have to think, plan, be smart about every punch and kick, every shot on the court.
Squash and Muay Thai - definitely a good match, physically and mentally.
I realized tonight that if I play more than just City League, say two other times during the week or the weekend, I'm going to be unstoppable on the court. My anaerobic threshold is huge, and I can run from the front to the back of the court without any effort to get shots which I would have just given up on before. This is going to be a good season. Still some rust to work off, but that's to be expected.
Turmoil
I think I need to seek professional help, go back to my therapist. There is something just not right with me lately. I'm depressed, unhappy, anxious, binge eating out of unhappiness, unmotivated and unable to see anything positive in living life. It's not suicidal, I don't think. But I do question the reason and purpose for life in its current state. I don't know what's wrong - job? lack of relationship? training? friends? money? a combination of all of these?
Yesterday I got asked who pissed in my cornflakes the day previous. I knew I was not in a good mood, but didn't think it was that obvious. I guess it was. I know everyone says that mood is simply a matter of deciding to be happy, but seriously, is it that easy? I don't think so. Not for me anyway. I guess it's taking its toll on my relationships with others as well, and I can't let that happen. If I'm unhappy, there's no reason anyone else should be.
I suspect I'm pms'ing right now as I spent a good many hours last night psychoanalysing my relationship with one particular person. I think I expect too much out of my friends. Particularly my male friends. It's horrible! Right now, I'm in a very pissy state of mind and I know it's not doing me any good, but I've got a few issues that I really, really need to get out of my system. I think I'll do that in my paper journal as then I can burn the pages when I'm done with it!!! Whatever the case may be, I need to find some way out of this turmoil that I've been in lately.
Yesterday I got asked who pissed in my cornflakes the day previous. I knew I was not in a good mood, but didn't think it was that obvious. I guess it was. I know everyone says that mood is simply a matter of deciding to be happy, but seriously, is it that easy? I don't think so. Not for me anyway. I guess it's taking its toll on my relationships with others as well, and I can't let that happen. If I'm unhappy, there's no reason anyone else should be.
I suspect I'm pms'ing right now as I spent a good many hours last night psychoanalysing my relationship with one particular person. I think I expect too much out of my friends. Particularly my male friends. It's horrible! Right now, I'm in a very pissy state of mind and I know it's not doing me any good, but I've got a few issues that I really, really need to get out of my system. I think I'll do that in my paper journal as then I can burn the pages when I'm done with it!!! Whatever the case may be, I need to find some way out of this turmoil that I've been in lately.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
lunch hour woes
Frustrating day today. I've been sleeping badly, which isn't doing anything to increase my patience level, but training sessions like the one I had at lunch push me over the edge. Lunch time classes used to be fairly advanced. Lately, there have been alot of beginners. Which I'm all for - the more beginners the better. But when I'm lacking patience, and want a good workout, I don't want to train with them. I know, as an advanced student, I should be patient and help them hold pads correctly. But it means that I don't get a work out at all during the hour. And now, I'm just frustrated and pissed off. I want to go back later this evening to get in a hard workout, but I probably shouldn't and should just simply go for a run. It won't do my foot any good to go and pound on the bag in frustration.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Squat-quads and squash-butt
This morning I am more sore than I have been in months. Muscle sore, not injury sore. i.e. the good kind of sore!!
My quads are soooooo sore from cards the other night, and I know I can specifically attribute that to the jumping squats during 'cards' on Wednesday night.
Yesterday, I went for a 5 km run at lunch, and played squash in the evening at Women's City League. Right now, it's just a drop-in evening, play American scoring until you're too tired to move any more. What I discovered last night is that my endurance is amazing - I don't tire out. But my technique is shit!! A year of not holding a squash racquet and it's doing to take a while to shake the rust off! But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After a few games, I started thinking and planning shots rather than just thrashing the ball to bits. Footwork was a bit of an issue as I'm so used to having my left foot as my lead leg - standing in the backhand position with my right foot forward feels a bit strange. But it's all coming back to me and I think a few more weeks and I'll be right on track. Aerobically, no problem! I could play all night. I wanted to keep going but the other ladies were calling it a night.
Afterwards, we went to a local sports bar for some food/drink. I was good and only had a beer as I had eaten a healthy supper prior to playing. I realize I have to learn to be moderate. Cutting weight for my fights in Iowa was way too restrictive of a diet and lifestyle, and if I'm going to maintain a fight weight, or somewhere close to it, then I need to learn how to be moderate so the deprivation/binging cycle gets broken. I gained alot of weight back after Iowa and now want to lose it in a healthy way. That means being able to go out once in a while and have a beer with friends and not feel guilty for it, not beat myself up for it later, or, worse, deprive myself of regular food to make up for it. I don't know if I could maintain 145 lbs, but 150 lbs is certainly doable, and right now, that is the goal weight to which I want to return. No problem - that leaves me 10 lbs to lose. Again. I can feel the change between 150 and 160 lbs and I don't like it. Clothes don't fit the same. Running feels a lot more difficult. My Thai shorts don't fit the same. So. Back on the wagon and the 3 weeks of bingeing and post-fight crash have to come to an end.
I realized that now, for the first time in about 6 years, I'm not stressing and prepping for anything. Since coming back from Thailand, I've been prepping for a fight, and planning the science fair non-stop. And, with the end of the Iowa tournament, I'm free of big future goals. No fights this fall (as of yet) and the science fair is over. I'm finally, after a very long time, free to get back to "normal" existence. Back to research, back to normal training, back to (maybe) having somewhat of a social life.
Although I feel I need a goal to work towards - a fight would be nice. But maybe not until my foot heals.
My quads are soooooo sore from cards the other night, and I know I can specifically attribute that to the jumping squats during 'cards' on Wednesday night.
Yesterday, I went for a 5 km run at lunch, and played squash in the evening at Women's City League. Right now, it's just a drop-in evening, play American scoring until you're too tired to move any more. What I discovered last night is that my endurance is amazing - I don't tire out. But my technique is shit!! A year of not holding a squash racquet and it's doing to take a while to shake the rust off! But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After a few games, I started thinking and planning shots rather than just thrashing the ball to bits. Footwork was a bit of an issue as I'm so used to having my left foot as my lead leg - standing in the backhand position with my right foot forward feels a bit strange. But it's all coming back to me and I think a few more weeks and I'll be right on track. Aerobically, no problem! I could play all night. I wanted to keep going but the other ladies were calling it a night.
Afterwards, we went to a local sports bar for some food/drink. I was good and only had a beer as I had eaten a healthy supper prior to playing. I realize I have to learn to be moderate. Cutting weight for my fights in Iowa was way too restrictive of a diet and lifestyle, and if I'm going to maintain a fight weight, or somewhere close to it, then I need to learn how to be moderate so the deprivation/binging cycle gets broken. I gained alot of weight back after Iowa and now want to lose it in a healthy way. That means being able to go out once in a while and have a beer with friends and not feel guilty for it, not beat myself up for it later, or, worse, deprive myself of regular food to make up for it. I don't know if I could maintain 145 lbs, but 150 lbs is certainly doable, and right now, that is the goal weight to which I want to return. No problem - that leaves me 10 lbs to lose. Again. I can feel the change between 150 and 160 lbs and I don't like it. Clothes don't fit the same. Running feels a lot more difficult. My Thai shorts don't fit the same. So. Back on the wagon and the 3 weeks of bingeing and post-fight crash have to come to an end.
I realized that now, for the first time in about 6 years, I'm not stressing and prepping for anything. Since coming back from Thailand, I've been prepping for a fight, and planning the science fair non-stop. And, with the end of the Iowa tournament, I'm free of big future goals. No fights this fall (as of yet) and the science fair is over. I'm finally, after a very long time, free to get back to "normal" existence. Back to research, back to normal training, back to (maybe) having somewhat of a social life.
Although I feel I need a goal to work towards - a fight would be nice. But maybe not until my foot heals.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Things are looking up
After a somewhat brutal summer at work, things are finally looking up. Today, for the first time in many, many, MANY months, I actually felt back to my old self and excited about future mineralogical research. A couple of things have been the catalyst for this:
1. A new project - woo hoo!! I have agreed to do a project on the mineralogy/geochemistry of the Los Island syenites. The Los Archipelago is off the coast of Guinea, West Africa. The first person to study these rocks was Lacroix, the famous French mineralogist. Luckily, all his original material is still at the Natural History Museum in Paris. Conveniently, I happen to know the curator there very well!! So, this joint project is coming together, which also will include a trip to Paris to study the material. And the rocks are cool - neat mineralogy, and no one has really studied them indepth yet. Ya, the geology has been studied a bit, but not extensively. There's a possible wealth of new species waiting to be discovered.
2. I'm going to Golden, Colorado for the "Mineralogy and Museums 6" meeting. This happens every 4 years, alternating with the IMA conference. In 2004, it was in Paris. This time, it's being held at the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, about 40 miles from Denver. And since I'm the Canadian rep on the commission, I should probably go. I wasn't going to go as I have no budget, but one of my colleagues and friends has graciously offered to pay my way. I'm so excited. This is going to be a great "welcome back to mineralogy" conference. On top of it, it's in the friggin' Rockies AND in horse country!! How much better can it get? I'm staying after MM6 to go to the Denver Mineral Show for one day, meet with a colleague from the Smithsonian, and of course meet my Parisian contact. Oh, and also hike Pike's Peak and go to the New Belgium Brrewing Company and take the tour. And hit up every western apparel store I can possibly find. I'm thinking I need a brown pair of cowboy boots. I have a black pair, but a distressed brown pair would be awesome!! Hand made of course.
Oh man, I'm so excited. It's going to be a great first week of September!!
Right now, my quads are so sore. I did a Phase 2 class tonight, then stayed for CSW afterwards. And we did 'cards' as our "warm up". For anyone who has not had the pleasure of doing 'cards', this is how it works:
1. Take a deck of cards, shuffle well, place in centre of circle of people
2. The are three main exercises to be performed: jumping squats, push ups, and crunches (in that order)
3. The first person in the circle flips a card over: for example, a 7 of clubs. Everyone must then do 7 jumping squats.
4. The second person in the circle flips over the next card: for example, a 10 of hearts. Everyone must then do 10 push ups.
5. And so it goes, repeating the exercises in whatever rep the card dictates. Going through the entire deck takes about 20 minutes.
It's a much more enjoyable experience with interesting cards. Kruu has one set that has military/political leaders from the Middle East on them - it always makes the session interesting when each time you flip a card, you have to pronounce the dictator's name. :)
I actually enjoy doing cards. My quads don't! Jumping squats will kill you if you keep hitting them on the face cards, or the ace (11). But given that I've been a lazy slug for the last weeks, this was a good way to get back into it.
Tomorrow evening, I'm playing my first session of squash in more than a year. This should be interesting! I guarantee that I'll have squash butt on Friday morning. Actually, more likely it will be Saturday morning! I've decided to play women's city league this fall, and the ladder at the Sportsplex. I suspect I'm not going to have a fight this fall, so thought I'd cross train a bit. It's the skinny end of the racquet that you hold, right?
1. A new project - woo hoo!! I have agreed to do a project on the mineralogy/geochemistry of the Los Island syenites. The Los Archipelago is off the coast of Guinea, West Africa. The first person to study these rocks was Lacroix, the famous French mineralogist. Luckily, all his original material is still at the Natural History Museum in Paris. Conveniently, I happen to know the curator there very well!! So, this joint project is coming together, which also will include a trip to Paris to study the material. And the rocks are cool - neat mineralogy, and no one has really studied them indepth yet. Ya, the geology has been studied a bit, but not extensively. There's a possible wealth of new species waiting to be discovered.
2. I'm going to Golden, Colorado for the "Mineralogy and Museums 6" meeting. This happens every 4 years, alternating with the IMA conference. In 2004, it was in Paris. This time, it's being held at the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, about 40 miles from Denver. And since I'm the Canadian rep on the commission, I should probably go. I wasn't going to go as I have no budget, but one of my colleagues and friends has graciously offered to pay my way. I'm so excited. This is going to be a great "welcome back to mineralogy" conference. On top of it, it's in the friggin' Rockies AND in horse country!! How much better can it get? I'm staying after MM6 to go to the Denver Mineral Show for one day, meet with a colleague from the Smithsonian, and of course meet my Parisian contact. Oh, and also hike Pike's Peak and go to the New Belgium Brrewing Company and take the tour. And hit up every western apparel store I can possibly find. I'm thinking I need a brown pair of cowboy boots. I have a black pair, but a distressed brown pair would be awesome!! Hand made of course.
Oh man, I'm so excited. It's going to be a great first week of September!!
Right now, my quads are so sore. I did a Phase 2 class tonight, then stayed for CSW afterwards. And we did 'cards' as our "warm up". For anyone who has not had the pleasure of doing 'cards', this is how it works:
1. Take a deck of cards, shuffle well, place in centre of circle of people
2. The are three main exercises to be performed: jumping squats, push ups, and crunches (in that order)
3. The first person in the circle flips a card over: for example, a 7 of clubs. Everyone must then do 7 jumping squats.
4. The second person in the circle flips over the next card: for example, a 10 of hearts. Everyone must then do 10 push ups.
5. And so it goes, repeating the exercises in whatever rep the card dictates. Going through the entire deck takes about 20 minutes.
It's a much more enjoyable experience with interesting cards. Kruu has one set that has military/political leaders from the Middle East on them - it always makes the session interesting when each time you flip a card, you have to pronounce the dictator's name. :)
I actually enjoy doing cards. My quads don't! Jumping squats will kill you if you keep hitting them on the face cards, or the ace (11). But given that I've been a lazy slug for the last weeks, this was a good way to get back into it.
Tomorrow evening, I'm playing my first session of squash in more than a year. This should be interesting! I guarantee that I'll have squash butt on Friday morning. Actually, more likely it will be Saturday morning! I've decided to play women's city league this fall, and the ladder at the Sportsplex. I suspect I'm not going to have a fight this fall, so thought I'd cross train a bit. It's the skinny end of the racquet that you hold, right?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Squash
I've decided I need to cross-train a bit and contacted the coordinator for the women's city squash league this afternoon. If I can play squash 2-3 times a week, it'll help both aerobically and anaerobically, and help with my reflexes. Strangely enough, as soon as I sent the email off, I felt very calm and content. Maybe it's what I need - a bit of a change of pace and a chance to let my foot heal properly. The only thing is making sure I get a day off during the week!!!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
The dirty deed
Tonight I did something I've been putting off for ages - I went bra shopping. I HATE bra shopping. It means 1-2 hours spent in a change room surrounded by packaging, hangers, and dozens of potential purchases. I hate it. I usually like shopping. Even for sports bras. But bra shopping? It seems so intimate, so revealing.
My initial reason for heading to Bayshore was the find something cute to wear to a bbq at Kru's place this weekend. But I entered at The Bay. Wrong move. I knew then that I couldn't avoid it. The dirty deed had to be done, and since I am too gimpy to train, tonight was the night to bra shop. If one can't do Muay Thai, obviously the alternative is to go shopping for supportive undergarments!!
After the whole circus and chaos of trying on dozens of the evil things, I went to pay at the cash. First, the concept of "customer service" was lost on this lady. Then, she asks me "Do you live near by?". The question stopped me short. Do I live near by? Why in the world would she ask that? Was it some sort of old-customer-service-lady pick-up line? Did she want to personally bring me more bras as a thank-you gift for shopping at The Bay? Turns out that usually on the weekends these items go on sale, and if I close by, it would be easy for me to stop by and receive a rebate for my purchases for the day. Whew!! No strange bra-lady will be stopping by my house and I didn't have to tell not-so-friendly cashier lady that I had a headache.
My initial reason for heading to Bayshore was the find something cute to wear to a bbq at Kru's place this weekend. But I entered at The Bay. Wrong move. I knew then that I couldn't avoid it. The dirty deed had to be done, and since I am too gimpy to train, tonight was the night to bra shop. If one can't do Muay Thai, obviously the alternative is to go shopping for supportive undergarments!!
After the whole circus and chaos of trying on dozens of the evil things, I went to pay at the cash. First, the concept of "customer service" was lost on this lady. Then, she asks me "Do you live near by?". The question stopped me short. Do I live near by? Why in the world would she ask that? Was it some sort of old-customer-service-lady pick-up line? Did she want to personally bring me more bras as a thank-you gift for shopping at The Bay? Turns out that usually on the weekends these items go on sale, and if I close by, it would be easy for me to stop by and receive a rebate for my purchases for the day. Whew!! No strange bra-lady will be stopping by my house and I didn't have to tell not-so-friendly cashier lady that I had a headache.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Night of 1000 kicks
Wouldn't you know it. The first Phase III class I go to in ages, and Kruu decides it's the night of 1000 kicks. Usually, Phase III is really technical, or half technical, half sparring. But no!!! 1000 kicks tonight. On a busted foot. Yup. I don't think I'll be walking tomorrow. Hitting the bag seems to be okay, but hitting a Thai pad, my foot seems to hit at just the wrong angle, catch the edge of the pad, and sends sharp pains up and down my foot and leg. And of course, I'm not going to be called a wimp so don't opt out of the rounds. Since we were odd numbers, someone had to be out on the heavy bag alternate rounds anyway, so I managed to get 4 rounds out, which took away some of the torture. The last 2 rounds, I worked hands. However, pivoting for a right hand even hurts.
I think part of the problem are my new running shoes. I made the, seemingly, mistake of buying New Balance instead of the regular Asics or Saucony that I usually buy. These ones seem to make me suppinate as the pain on the outside of my right foot is being mimicked by the left one as well. I think it's time to swallow the cost of these shoes, put them deep in the closest, and head back to the Running Room and buy my regular shoes.
Oh, and we didn't come anywhere near 1000 kicks - closer to 500 given we didn't have enough time in the class.
I think part of the problem are my new running shoes. I made the, seemingly, mistake of buying New Balance instead of the regular Asics or Saucony that I usually buy. These ones seem to make me suppinate as the pain on the outside of my right foot is being mimicked by the left one as well. I think it's time to swallow the cost of these shoes, put them deep in the closest, and head back to the Running Room and buy my regular shoes.
Oh, and we didn't come anywhere near 1000 kicks - closer to 500 given we didn't have enough time in the class.
Rockin4Tabitha 2008 - new poster!!!
September 18th - Be there!!
I took the last week off training in order to let my foot heal. Probably a smart move, and something that I should have done the week after the fight, not 2 weeks later when it was made worse by training and running!! But I trained last night a bit with Naaron and it didn't hurt when I hit the pad, so I think it's healing well. Tonight, I'll go train in the Phase III class and see if the pain stays away. The next edition of "Throwdown in O-Town" is October 4th and I'd like to fight on that card so have to get back at it.
I've not been in the best of head states for the last couple of weeks. Self-deprecating, maybe. Not training enough, that's for sure. But since Iowa is over, I am forced to re-focus on work and the rest of my life, both of which I've been successfully avoiding while I was in fight-prep mode. I have to get my research career back on track, and have to figure out how to balance work and training. Not easy.
The one thing I have noticed since coming back to research is the number of people who have come to me and told me that when I switched to doing communications, they thought I was nuts! Okay, so a few more vocal colleagues told me this right off the bat, but these have been quieter people. And alot of them!! And they are happy to have me back to being a scientist and not naively trying to change the world.
I've had a few other things on my mind that I can't seem to shake off. I got an email from my father a couple of weeks back in which he said that he had seen the video of my first fight and photos from Thailand. HOW? That's my main question. So it appears that someone has been leaking information to him when I have specifically requested them NOT to. And I know it's not my brother. And that pisses me off.
Secondly, after the CWSF I happened to tell a friend of mine that I was slightly pissed off and disappointed in her actions during the week of the Fair. Since then, we haven't spoken. I'm not surprised that she got upset, but I know that I was in the right and had fully logical and legit reasons to be pissed off. However, it still upsets me. Part of me wants to be the bigger person and give her a shout. But part of me wants the apology I thought I'd get after the first email when I voiced my reasons for being upset. Nope. Although, again, I'm not surprised. We've had a volatile friendship for the last number of years, being very different in the way we go through life in some ways, but so alike in others. Part of it is her not being able to open up to me, hiding too much. I'm willing to be open, I've tried to get her to talk about the problems in her life, but no such luck and she resorts to intellectualizing, avoiding the issues, and then discussing work. Or more likely, bitching about a colleague of ours. None of which resolves the issues. As such, it's taken a toll on our friendship. The very first day of the Fair, an event that I had spent 6 years of my life organizing and put all my heart and soul into, she comes up to me and says "I want to leave this Fair already". Okay, so how would you react? I, of course, was shocked and pissed off. The only thing that saved me from reacting was that I was in the process of gathering up our guest speakers for the Opening Ceremony and really couldn't stop to process anything. But it set the tone for the rest of the week and made me increasingly sensitive to her abrasiveness. For someone who wanted so badly to help our Fair run smoothly, I think I saw her for a grand total of 20 minutes during the entire week. The science fair group is a close knit family. Of course, as with any family, we have our ups and downs, our fights and make-up sessions. But it's all good, and we spend the time together, as a group. Not hiding somewhere else as she did for the entire week. It increasingly made me mad, to have our Fair shunned, for her not to see what we had accomplished.
Wow. Okay, this post wasn't supposed to be about that, but I guess I had to get it out. I'm still upset about the entire situation and unsure what to do. Do I want to rekindle the relationship? I actually don't know.
Speaking of strange, volatile, vaguely destructive relationships, I have the opportunity to go back to Paris. The initial Paris fiasco was 6 years ago. Since then, I have matured, dealt with many other manipulative people, and have learned how to deal with difficult situations. But can I handle going back to Paris? Not sure. I'd like to though - I like the city, the culture, living away from Ottawa for 4 or 6 months. If I could find a Muay Thai gym while there, it would be perfect. But can I handle it? I don't know.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
