rant about emails at work

Okay, so I just had a run-in with management... again!! I sent out an email asking for support for our Tabitha Foundation house building in Cambodia. I thought that with enough people from work, we could probably build one full house. A manager emails me back saying that this sort of email is against policy, and that I can have my email privileges provoked, etc. Oh for fuck's sake!!! Every day, we receive many emails that are not totally work-related! Who fucking cares who is having a baby, or going on maternity leave, or someone's relative died. Not trying to be uncaring or anything, but seriously, does it really affect every single one of us? No. Not in the slightest. I don't want these emails in my Inbox. I swear, this woman has a hit out for me. Fuckin' hell. I'm tempted to send her back a raving email, but then again, that would be playing with fire and, as I must continuously remember, I am a mere pion and cannot anger the gods that be in the upper levels. Seriously considering what my options are for next year...

On another, more positive note, check out our new Rockin4Tabitha blog: www.rockin4tabitha.blogspot.com and see what we're up to for the fall!!!

Working on a sunday

I actually voluntarily signed up to be "weekend manager" a while back so today I am working on a Sunday. Not a bad thing - but not many visitors so I have the time to catch up on a bit of work and random writing.

Standing up for a long time is not pleasant right now - I have a muscle knot underneath my left shoulder blade and it is killing me. I went and got a massage on Friday evening, and haven't trained since Wednesday, but it's not going away. I've tried hot baths, muscle relaxants, Aleve, but it won't loosen up. I guess it will sooner or later loosen up by itself, but until then, I'm suffering quite a bit. If it's not gone by mid week, I'll go and see my doctor.

Otherwise, it's been a quiet week. Joc put me onto Facebook so I finally signed up. It could be addictive though! The amazing thing is that it's put me back in touch with alot of people from both highschool, Science North and Laurentian. Howard's even come out of the woodwork! It's like a flash from the past on your computer screen. He's still in Ottawa actually, so I will try and see him soon. He's living with his girlfriend, which makes me a bit nervous (jealous?). How is it possible to still have those emotions for someone after 10-15 years? Crazy. It's so funny to see what is tucked away in a little corner of your mind that you don't deal with on a day to day basis.

ARgh. My back really hurts.

The boutique has fudge.

No no no no no!! Must stick to the diet. I came back after the 4 days at the cottage and had gained weight (4 lbs), which is not surprisingly given the amount of alcohol, fudge and other food, but it still pissed me off. I have another appointment with Beth for a body composition test next week and want it to show good progress.

Back really hurts. I just want to go home and soak in the bathtub.

I've had way too much coffee today. I've been looking through MLS listings for houses. There's one for sale in Hintonburg that is kinda cute! Old house, 2 bedrooms (one is a loft). I wonder if I could get a mortgage...

Back from birthday weekend at the cottage

Just got back from a long weekend at a friend's cottage, enjoying the sun, the beach, a few drinks, lots of laughs and the wonderful feeling of being able to relax and read and not worry about being in meetings! Abbey had a great time as well - who says you can't let Greyhounds off the leash? He was a really good boy, very well-behaved and only violated boundaries once or twice. He's come a long way since last year when I first brought him to the cottage. But then again, I had only had him a month at that time! He didn't even really know his name.

33 years old. I could sit here and take stock of the past year, but I think I will have to leave that til later this evening.

New tattoo

Ah, the long weekend is almost over. Long, long weekend actually, as I took Friday off as well. After a full week of meetings and union negotiations, a friday off was very welcome! But it's been a pretty quiet weekend. I had the opportunity to go and drink my face off on a patio, but declined as it's too much of a temptation on this diet. If I'm going to follow this diet fully, even one beer is too much of a temptation. I'm not sure what I'll do at Scott's cottage next weekend, but since it is my birthday weekend, I'm going to allow myself one or two drinks. :)

I stopped in at Planet Ink on Saturday and got the rest of my right arm tattoo finished - a set of Buddha eyes above the Tibetan script. Looks awesome! Hurts like a bitch though. All the colour meant alot of filling in and thus scraping back and forth across the skin. It's fantastic though.

I'll try and take a better photo of it when I can - it's hard to take a photo of your own arm! I was going to get it on the back of my neck, but I want to save that space for the sak-yant when I'm in Thailand.

Sitting around today, reading a book of travel stories from Thailand. This afternoon I'm going to go to Camp Fortune and do some hill running with the dog. Figured I should add some hills and interval training into my running schedule as long, slow distance running is only going to do so much good for Muay Thai training.

Mont Saint-Hilaire, and spa!!!

Today was spent driving all the way to Mont Saint-Hilaire and back, which is usually ok, but since collecting has been crap there for the last year or more, it was more just to show a colleague from the Smithsonian around. Nice day for it though, and it was interesting to see how much of the quarry they are just bulldozing around into nice neat piles!! And it was DEFINITELY better than yesterday spent in union negotiations!!! Wow, what a hellish procedure that is! Us against them. Will that ever end? I doubt it. I have discovered that my temper flares very easily when compromises are not offered. And when I discover the extent to the spineless, mollusk-type nature of people. Amazing. Completely amazing.

I treated myself to a relaxing evening and went to the Spa Nordik in Chelsea. It was great!!! Totally amazing. I did 4 full cycles of the baths - sauna (10 min), ice-cold waterfall (10 sec), rest (10 min), twice, and then the same but with the steam bath instead of the sauna. Oh my god, the steam room was brutal!! And what a shock to the system to stand under the ice cold water after being in a room that is basically treating you like a lobster and steaming you until you're fully cooked!! Completely awesome. I'm thinking of getting a 10-pass package which saves you $100 off the total cost. Very relaxing and I think that I'm going to try and go every 2 weeks. Definitely a good way to relax after the last week. I'm taking tomorrow off to recoup, sleep, etc. Looking forward to a long weekend.

Opening day of large mouth bass season

This weekend has started out to be the perfect weekend - relaxing with good friends, time spent outside in the sunshine, and later tonight, the finale of the "Ultimate Fighter"!!! Last night, I drove out to Clayton to Bob's house and spent the evening there, chatting and having a wee dram of scotch. Then off to bed fairly early, only to be woken up at 4:30am to go FISHING!!! I haven't been fishing since I was a teenager. Well, I've been deepsea fishing in the last years, once in PEI and once in Norway, but not fishing in a normal boat on a lake. So a few of us from work decided to go out for the opening of lg mouth bass season. I bought a new rod and reel yesterday, complete with a few lures, and was very much looking forward to using it today. Noel and I were partnered in the canoe together and had a great time, regardless of the 5am start time and too little coffee!!! We did alot of casting in the sunshine, fighting the current, and just had a great time being outside. I managed to catch one tiny lg mouth around 7am, threw it back. Noel caught a couple in that time frame. We finally managed to get to the lee side of one small island. I cast, and WHAM!! Got a hit and reeled in a 2 lb large mouth. Yeah!!! I was so happy - big enough for eating!!!


In total, we wound up with 2 lg mouth and one pike for breakfast. Joke put on a huge spread of food, we had champagne and orange juice, and settled in for a saturday brunch, complete with fresh-caught, pan-fried fish. It was soooooooo good. I love bass. The pike was good too. I must say, I had a great morning/afternoon.


The puppy is exhausted too - he spent the day meeting all sorts of new friends, eating the bones from the filleted bass, and wandering around the house catching all sorts of new smells. Mid afternoon, he just flopped on the porch and sunbathed. He was so good - stayed around us, listened to me when I asked him to come back to the porch, etc. He's flaked out on the couch right now. :)


Now I think I might go flake as well. I need a nap before UFC tonight!! I also need to do laundry in a big way. All my gym clothes are filthy. And there is fish guts and coffee all over my favorite sweatshirt...


I had Kali/Silat last night. Man, it's been a while since I've done Kali, and I haven't been practicing. I also hadn't practiced the Silat series of moves that Kru showed us 2 weeks ago. And he asked if we had, so I had to admit no. Ulp. I felt like shit!! I've got 2 of the series down, but the other two, I need help with. I think I'll have to get him to go through the moves again. I just don't catch on that quickly. Partially it's cuz I'm trying to learn CSW and Kali-Silat all at the same time as learning Muay Thai!! All my effort is going into Muay Thai. Kru told me on Tuesday that I have to jump in the ring and spar every chance I get. Yessir!!! Practice, practice, practice, to get comfortable, stay cool, be strategic.

the Rideau Lakes Tour - a synopsis

This past weekend was the 3rd time I have ridden the Rideau Lakes Tour, the Century version (100 km each way, Perth to Kingston and back). Saturday was a great ride - sunny, bright, hot, but bearable hot if you kept hydrated and moving. We did good time, average 25 km/h and had fun. That evening, we enjoyed a few beers in the cool cafeteria, and then went to shower/bath and cool off before supper. Interestingly enough, the dorm Scott and I were in didn't have any water!! I was on the 4th floor and found all the taps and toilets void of water. So I tried the 3rd floor and managed to have a bit of a 'shower' using the few droplets that I managed to squeeze from the bathtub tap!! Definitely not a satisfying experience! Especially when you are salt-encrusted and dirty!

We wound up going to "Chez Piggie" for supper, one of Kingston's best restaurants. It was fantastic! A couple of excellent bottles of wine (including the traditional Amarone), steak, asparagus appetizers, port and caramel-chocolate-nut tart for dessert, excellent company and conversation - what more could you ask for?! It was great. I definitely recommend Chez Piggie to anyone who goes to Kingston looking for good food. Bit pricey, but worth it.

That night was horrendous. I think I managed 15-30 min of sleep throughout the entire evening. For one, it was really hot and humid in my dorm room. Secondly, my shoulders were sunburned and ached when I rolled over (compounding with my rotator cuff issue in my left shoulder from CSW). What a brutal evening. I felt like shit in the morning. So did Bob, Glenn and Doug. Bob decided not to return with us, and Glenn almost didn't ride as well. Me? Well, I wasn't a happy camper, but started off okay and then got progressively less comfortable on the way. Along with certainly not having enough km's under my belt this year (400 km when I started the Tour, no where near enough), I forgot to lube my shorts and nether regions. About 20 km towards Perth, I started to feel the beginnings of a saddle sore. It got worse and worse, as did my mental state, and by 10 km outside of Westport, that was it. I knew I couldn't go on, physically or mentally. My ass was killing me - I couldn't sit down, couldn't pedal, so was reduced to holding my weight up with my hands on my profile bar pads. Brutal!!! I was miserable by Westport, but resigned and ok with the decision to stop there and sag-wagon home. I told Scott and he didn't pressure me to continue, which I was very appreciative of. I managed to catch the sag-wagon back to Perth, dragged my sorry ass back to my car and drove home to pick up the dog.

Ah well, not my best showing cycling, but that's life. Some days are better than others and you live with your defeat. I'm trying to keep the word "failure" out of my head and vocabulary, but it's hard. Trying to put it behind me. Now, I can concentrate on Muay Thai training. Yeah!! I started Beth's strict 2000 calorie diet first thing Monday morning, and am now working on a strict training plan as well. 5-10 km runs every 2nd day. Today, I ran 5 km and did extra work along the way by keeping my arms raised in a MT position. Talk about hard work!! My arms were aching by the time I got home. but I need to improve my shoulder and bicep muscles, endurance-wise, for the ring so I can keep my hands up.

Stuck in meetings tomorrow, which should be oh so much fun (insert sarcastic look here). I don't know what it is lately, I'm just uninspired and bored. Lots to do, but no urge to do it. I'm also needing alot of sleep so have been getting into work late, then attempting to do work in the evening.

I have managed to get ahold of the owner of the http://www.sak-yant.com/ website and have organized to see his Ajarn, sak master, while I'm in Bangkok, to get a sak yant. On top of it, he is going to buy me a new needle, so no fear of Hep or AIDS or any other nasty disease. I know it's going to be a great experience, I can't wait.

Here's a general map of where I'm headed - SouthEast Asia!! Flying into Bangkok.

Here's a more detailed map of where I"m headed. I plan to spend a few days in Bangkok, seeing the sites, visiting various Wats, and getting a sak yant tattoo. Then, I'm going to fly to Phuket and will be training at Sinbi Muay Thai Gym for 5 weeks. Yeah!!! From there, I fly back to Bangkok and plan to take a bus to the Thai-Khmer border at Poipet. Here, I can take a taxi to Siam Reap and spend time around Angkor Wat. I have to be in Phnom Penh by Feb 26th. I'll travel there by boat down Tonle Sap Lake. Then we will be building houses in a small village near Phnom Penh for the Tabitha Foundation for 3-4 days.

Sak yant and ramblings

Haven't found time lately to be writing on here, which is really too bad since I haven't been in the best state of minds. Well, mainly slightly depressed, but mainly due to work so I manage to ignore/avoid that by going to the gym or thinking about Thailand and what I'm going to do there in January.

I've decided to search out a Samnak Ajarn Sak Yant, or Sak Yant tattoo master, while in Bangkok to do 2 yants on my back. If you want to read about sak yants, go to www.sak-yant.com which outlines the tradition and history. Essentially, they are geometric tattoos which are meant to protect the wearer, originally as protection during war/fighting times. The origin is actually Khmer, and warriors used to believe that getting tattoos made their skin slippery and therefore they could not be harmed in battle. Only Buddhist monks are allowed to do true sak yants. And it's not done with modern tattoo machines - the monks use a stick with needles inserted on the end and they simply jab the needles in and out of your skin. Ouch!

The three I am deciding between are:

1. Yant Gao Yord: means Nine Peaks, and represents the Nine Peaks Mount Meru; sacred mountain in the centre of the Universe, with the four Continents around it.


2. Yant Paed Tidt: it is representative of the 8 directions of the Universe and has a kata to protect you in each direction you may travel in.


3. Yant Hanuman: The Monkey God, which represents confidence, perseverance and strength.
Below is what an extensive sak yant back looks like.


Pretty cool eh?! I think it's beautiful. I am thinking of going to Wat Bang Pra, which is where the sak yant festival is held each March (it's a temple outside of Bangkok) but my only concern there is hygiene. So I'm attempting to get ahold of the owner of the sak-yant.com website, Spencer, and see if I can have a sak yant done by his master. That way, I can have a more intimate session and he can appraise me to decide which yant would be most appropriate to me. I'm hoping to get it done before going to Sinbi to train and fight. It's a continuation of the ceremony that we respect in Muay Thai by performing the Wai Kruu before a fight.

Otherwise, all's good here. My grandmother was over this evening for supper and, although I was a bit nervous about it, concerned that we wouldn't have much to say to each other, it was a good evening. I dunno, sometimes I feel that I live on such a different planet than the rest of my family and it's difficult to enter into discussions, unless it's to hear bitching about my father or other relatives. So this was a nice surprise. Ah, my mom's side of the family are all talkative anyway, so I should never be worried - I don't have to say and thing and they can keep the conversation going themselves!! Which is sometimes a lot easier. :)

One more day before the Rideau Lakes Tour! Should be a good time, although it's supposed to be stupidly hot so I have to remember to pack extra sports drink powder to rehydrate properly.

chilly morning

Sitting here at 8am waiting for a cleaner who isn't showing up. Okay, so I thought these guys were supposed to be on-time!! Especially at this time in the morning! I have things to do, and waiting for a cleaner, no matter how badly my apartment needs cleaning! is not one of them!! 5 more minutes and then I'm outta here.

It's friggin' COLD out there this morning!!! 7 deg C. Chilly!

I went to Muay Thai last night and was completely exhausted. What a horrible session. Couldn't kick worth shit, and the 'cool down' with push-ups and 8-count body-builders just about killed me. Got some good sleep last night so I'm hoping that helps. I think I'm still going to go and make and appointment with my doctor though. But I have a sneaky suspicion that the fatigue is in my head and I should be calling my therapist instead. I'm seeing my nutritionist next week to make sure I"m eating fine, to get on a good meal plan that will allow me to do the activity I want to do and not pass out due to lack of glycogen. And to lose weight. I've stalled, plateaued, and it's driving me crazy!!

Okay, I'm outta here. This guy ain't showing up on time. Ciao!

feeling blah. and frustrated.

ARgh. Been a long time since I've posted, but I really should because lately I'm feeling really frustrated. Whether it's my job, training, sleeping patterns, or eating, I'm just feeling like nothing is really going right. Maybe I should go check with the doctor to make sure I'm healthy, generally, before I struggle to sort this out anymore. I'm attempting to lose weight and get down to the weight I want to fight at, but it's soooooo slow coming. This week I actually gained 2 lbs! Frustrating, very frustrating. But I think my body is confused - either not getting enough to eat, or too much. I'm useless at getting up in the morning, which I think is a combination of having no motivation to get up and go to work and being tired from training and whatever bad combination of food. I'm getting really pissed off and depressed. The last I was really enjoying getting up in the morning was while we were in Truro. Now? Just feeling blah. blah blah blah blah. Not terribly a good way to live each day. I'm behind in everything from work to housework to getting miles on my bike before Rideau Lakes. Why? Maybe I should contact my therapist again and have a bit of a chat, sort out where this bleakness, this complete lack of motivation for work is coming from. I'm feeling very motivated for training and the science fair. If I could train all day and do science fair work, all would be good! But that's just not realistic. I just feel like shit whenever I'm not at the gym.

FUCK.