7 more sleeps!!
Today I booked a room at the Sand Sea Resort on Railay Beach in Krabi. I figured that after the fights on Koh Lanta on January 11th, I'll pop across the bay to Krabi and check out the awesome beaches, caves and rock climbing on Railay. I've gotten all sorts of suggestions of things to do while there (it's great to have friends who have traveled extensively in Thailand before and who share the same sort of traveling likes and dislikes as I do!). The photos of the area are absolutely amazing. I so can't wait. It'll be a nice break between days of training in Phuket as well - a chance to get away from the camp crowd and off on my own for a bit of exploring and beachcombing.
My shoulder is starting to feel better. It only truly pains me if I put force on it by pulling or pushing. Otherwise, it's only sore in the morning and by the late evening. Yeah! I'm headed to the gym this evening to do some cardio, shadow boxing and maybe some kicking on the bag (if it doesn't rotate my shoulder too much). Fingers crossed that I'm not in too much pain when I come home tonight.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's official...
The next 10 days are going to be unbearable! Waiting around to leave for Thailand is not going to be alot of fun, especially since I can't spend my time at the gym, working off anxious energy. Argh! That said, I'm getting alot of loose ends tied up, alot of reading done, and have watched numerous movies. Thankfully, by the time the weekend comes along, we have a number of Christmas parties to waste my time, and I have to mark final exams and assignments. I'm not sure that will be sufficient to keep me from packing and repacking and repacking again every day in anticipation! Doing dishes tonight will keep me busy for, oh, 1/2 an hour. But I really don't want to do dishes. What else to do?
I went for my first ART (active release therapy) session this morning. Only one word describes the experience - PAINFUL. I'm sure that it's going to help heal my shoulder and neck, but oh my god!! Pressure point therapy when you're already really sore is not a good experience. It was helped slightly by the fact that my therapist was really good looking and he was also a really nice guy! But still, OW!!! Right now, I've got one spot on my neck that refuses to calm down and is still aching quite a bit. I have a physio session tomorrow, then another ART session on Thursday. I'm hoping to go to the gym tomorrow at lunch to at least shadow box and do a bit of skipping. We'll see how I feel.
I went for my first ART (active release therapy) session this morning. Only one word describes the experience - PAINFUL. I'm sure that it's going to help heal my shoulder and neck, but oh my god!! Pressure point therapy when you're already really sore is not a good experience. It was helped slightly by the fact that my therapist was really good looking and he was also a really nice guy! But still, OW!!! Right now, I've got one spot on my neck that refuses to calm down and is still aching quite a bit. I have a physio session tomorrow, then another ART session on Thursday. I'm hoping to go to the gym tomorrow at lunch to at least shadow box and do a bit of skipping. We'll see how I feel.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
packing... and repacking
In the last month, I think I have packed and repacked my bag for Thailand about 25 times!! Today, I couldn't figure out where I put the extra SD cards for my camera. I've whittled down my packing to only one pair of convertible pants/shorts, 2 dry-wick shirts, a long-sleeved dry wick shirt with UV protection, underwear, sports bras and socks. I have to throw some training tops in there as well, but I figure I can buy anything else while there. And my towel is packed. The towel that has traveled to Europe, to Nepal, all across North America, etc. It has stories to tell, is faded and worn, but is my one creature comfort during trips abroad!
I spent the afternoon shopping for misc items like the dry-wick shirt, underwear, etc. And a book for the plane ride over. My shoulder is now aching from carrying bags and walking without it in the sling - not painful, just aching like it's been used all day. I'm actually pretty happy with how it feels today. I had to take off the tape that was stretched across my back - it was getting way too itchy and uncomfortable.
Note to self: when you injure your body, taking the time to heal properly is well worth it!!
I think I will go for a run tomorrow. Fresh air would be a good thing. A week off feels like a lifetime of being a slug.
I spent the afternoon shopping for misc items like the dry-wick shirt, underwear, etc. And a book for the plane ride over. My shoulder is now aching from carrying bags and walking without it in the sling - not painful, just aching like it's been used all day. I'm actually pretty happy with how it feels today. I had to take off the tape that was stretched across my back - it was getting way too itchy and uncomfortable.
Note to self: when you injure your body, taking the time to heal properly is well worth it!!
I think I will go for a run tomorrow. Fresh air would be a good thing. A week off feels like a lifetime of being a slug.
subconscious enigma
How exactly does your body know what to do when you're asleep? I ask this because during the last week, I've not been able to sleep on my right side, for obvious reasons. Even sleeping on my left side has its problem when gravity takes my shoulder over. But to not lie on my right side, while awake, is a conscious decision. What happens when I'm asleep? I wake up having tweaked my shoulder a number of times during the night, but never have I woken up sleeping on the right side. How does that happen? How is it that during sleep, my body knows not to roll over on to that side?
Both Abbey and I had a good night's sleep last night, the first one in a week. He's happily munching away on kibble with sardines this morning before we head out for a walk and a coffee. So far so good - he doesn't seem sensitive anywhere, although the strange rash on his belly is still there. I think we're in the clear!
12 sleeps until Thailand. It doesn't seem possible actually. We went for Thai food last night and I learned a valuable lesson this morning - ease your way back into spicy food if you haven't had it in a while! We had 4 dishes, all of which were full of chilies! I'm paying for it this morning. I can't wait to eat fresh Thai food for 6 weeks - fruit, seafood, sticky rice. Yum! It's all good!
Both Abbey and I had a good night's sleep last night, the first one in a week. He's happily munching away on kibble with sardines this morning before we head out for a walk and a coffee. So far so good - he doesn't seem sensitive anywhere, although the strange rash on his belly is still there. I think we're in the clear!
12 sleeps until Thailand. It doesn't seem possible actually. We went for Thai food last night and I learned a valuable lesson this morning - ease your way back into spicy food if you haven't had it in a while! We had 4 dishes, all of which were full of chilies! I'm paying for it this morning. I can't wait to eat fresh Thai food for 6 weeks - fruit, seafood, sticky rice. Yum! It's all good!
Friday, December 07, 2007
hey medical system! take a lesson from your neighbour veterinary hospital!
Nalene health concern (Globe and Mail)
So it looks like our old favorite drinking aid, the Nalgene bottle, has been pulled off the shelves by MEC. As I look in my cupboard, at last count I owned minimum 8 of these bottles, both Nalgene brand and other knock-offs, all containing the evil Lexan. What do we use for water bottles now? Stainless steel?
It's been a long, hard, stressful week. Tuesday night, I thought all was going well with Abbey's recovery from his tooth extraction. Around midnight, he was whining and standing on the bed staring at me. Thinking he just needed to pee, I took him out. 2 hours later, same thing. But after getting back into bed, I touched his stomach, trying to convince him to lie down and he screamed out in pain. That was enough to scare me and I called my vet to get the emergency number. 2:30am in the morning, I'm driving to the Ottawa Veterinary Hospital and checking him in. They immediately took an X-ray (note to human medical clinics: learn from vet hospitals! medical attention happens immediately!) and discovered he had a severe case of bloat (colic) and needed emergency surgery to decompress his stomach. I left him there and spent a sleepless night at home. The next few days were up and down with him developing more and more problems - weird pancreatic values, long clotting times, blood in his urine, a strange rash on his abdomen. Thankfully, the bloat did not occur, but these other problems were odd. Our final thoughts are that they were complications from either a drug or the anesthetic during the tooth extraction. Yesterday he was finally getting better, eating, up and socializing at the clinic. I went and saw him last night and he was exhausted - we had a nap together on the visitation room couch! The day before when I visited he had been in pain, slow, not social, etc. So seeing him last night almost back to his normal self was a huge relief. I picked him up today and he's sleeping soundly on the couch. I think the next couple of days will be fairly low-key for both of us! I'm so happy to have him home safe and sound. It's been a huge stress to have him away from home, especially since none of the vets were sure what was wrong. And he'd seen minimum of 4 vets during his time at the hospital, none of which was his own regular vet! That's hard on both of us. But he's home, feeling well and almost back to his normal self. Yeah!!
On top of the stress of him being in hospital, I've been at physio every day this week, attempting to get this shoulder back on track. Today it's doing a bit better, and I've been told to forgo the sling while at home and use the shoulder a bit so the muscles can start to strengthen. I've also got a few exercises to do each day to get it back into shape. It's still in alot of pain, especially down the side of my neck and into the trap muscle, but I think I'm going to stop taking the pain killer and just take Aleve.
Wow, what a week. TGIF definitely!! 14 more days until I leave for Thailand, which is almost shocking. The next two weeks will go by fast - Christmas lunches, Andy's coming to town for a couple of days, exams to mark. Yeah! Then off, off and away into the wild blue (warm) yonder! I should be go to train by the time I hit Phuket. Maybe not to do MMA, but certainly to be back on the bag, running, and maybe doing some sparring. I'll be so happy to get back into the gym. Being inactive is very, very frustrating!
So it looks like our old favorite drinking aid, the Nalgene bottle, has been pulled off the shelves by MEC. As I look in my cupboard, at last count I owned minimum 8 of these bottles, both Nalgene brand and other knock-offs, all containing the evil Lexan. What do we use for water bottles now? Stainless steel?
It's been a long, hard, stressful week. Tuesday night, I thought all was going well with Abbey's recovery from his tooth extraction. Around midnight, he was whining and standing on the bed staring at me. Thinking he just needed to pee, I took him out. 2 hours later, same thing. But after getting back into bed, I touched his stomach, trying to convince him to lie down and he screamed out in pain. That was enough to scare me and I called my vet to get the emergency number. 2:30am in the morning, I'm driving to the Ottawa Veterinary Hospital and checking him in. They immediately took an X-ray (note to human medical clinics: learn from vet hospitals! medical attention happens immediately!) and discovered he had a severe case of bloat (colic) and needed emergency surgery to decompress his stomach. I left him there and spent a sleepless night at home. The next few days were up and down with him developing more and more problems - weird pancreatic values, long clotting times, blood in his urine, a strange rash on his abdomen. Thankfully, the bloat did not occur, but these other problems were odd. Our final thoughts are that they were complications from either a drug or the anesthetic during the tooth extraction. Yesterday he was finally getting better, eating, up and socializing at the clinic. I went and saw him last night and he was exhausted - we had a nap together on the visitation room couch! The day before when I visited he had been in pain, slow, not social, etc. So seeing him last night almost back to his normal self was a huge relief. I picked him up today and he's sleeping soundly on the couch. I think the next couple of days will be fairly low-key for both of us! I'm so happy to have him home safe and sound. It's been a huge stress to have him away from home, especially since none of the vets were sure what was wrong. And he'd seen minimum of 4 vets during his time at the hospital, none of which was his own regular vet! That's hard on both of us. But he's home, feeling well and almost back to his normal self. Yeah!!
On top of the stress of him being in hospital, I've been at physio every day this week, attempting to get this shoulder back on track. Today it's doing a bit better, and I've been told to forgo the sling while at home and use the shoulder a bit so the muscles can start to strengthen. I've also got a few exercises to do each day to get it back into shape. It's still in alot of pain, especially down the side of my neck and into the trap muscle, but I think I'm going to stop taking the pain killer and just take Aleve.
Wow, what a week. TGIF definitely!! 14 more days until I leave for Thailand, which is almost shocking. The next two weeks will go by fast - Christmas lunches, Andy's coming to town for a couple of days, exams to mark. Yeah! Then off, off and away into the wild blue (warm) yonder! I should be go to train by the time I hit Phuket. Maybe not to do MMA, but certainly to be back on the bag, running, and maybe doing some sparring. I'll be so happy to get back into the gym. Being inactive is very, very frustrating!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
woozy doggie!
On my couch lies a very stoned dog! I took him to the vet's this morning to have one of his molars removed and just picked him up. The tooth came out alright and should heal up very quickly, but right now he's still a bit woozy from the anesthetic. Poor thing! He looks so dopey!
2nd physio session this morning indicates that my trap muscle isn't working correctly - either a result of nerve damage or simply being damaged itself. It's not holding up the shoulder properly which is contributing to the lopsidedness of my shoulders. I decided not to take pain killers last night and regretted it today - I discovered how many different parts of my shoulder and neck are sore!! Ouch. The good thing is that my physiotherapist says that by the end of next week, provided I progress well in healing, I should be able to be back at the gym doing at least shadow boxing and lower body work. Yeah!!
I think I need a new job. The concept of "positive reinforcement" is lost at my place of work. Every time I get called into my boss's office, I feel like I'm going to catch shit. This new position is not fun for me, nor for him by the looks of it, so I think I may have to go back to research. It will take me out of harms way, make me one of the pack again (it's true - there are safety in numbers), and allow me to go back to getting work done and not stuck in meetings all the time. I thought this could work, but I don't think the environment is right. I actually think I was set up to fail in a number of ways. Maybe not consciously, not deliberately, but the environment is wrong, not supportive, too insecure. So maybe it's time for a change back to research, back to my roots, followed by a search, later on, for something different. I don't know. We'll know more after tomorrow's meeting.
I'm bored, anxious, fidgety. I'm not used to being home in the evenings, unable to go to the gym. It sucks!! The gym is like a 2nd home to me (sometimes it feels like a first home!) and not being able to train is driving me insane! Or maybe it's just being stuck at home, injured, fed up with work, eager to leave for Thailand. I'll go google Thailand and then check out Carrie's blog some more to keep me on the happy track to leaving for the warm climes of Asia.
2nd physio session this morning indicates that my trap muscle isn't working correctly - either a result of nerve damage or simply being damaged itself. It's not holding up the shoulder properly which is contributing to the lopsidedness of my shoulders. I decided not to take pain killers last night and regretted it today - I discovered how many different parts of my shoulder and neck are sore!! Ouch. The good thing is that my physiotherapist says that by the end of next week, provided I progress well in healing, I should be able to be back at the gym doing at least shadow boxing and lower body work. Yeah!!
I think I need a new job. The concept of "positive reinforcement" is lost at my place of work. Every time I get called into my boss's office, I feel like I'm going to catch shit. This new position is not fun for me, nor for him by the looks of it, so I think I may have to go back to research. It will take me out of harms way, make me one of the pack again (it's true - there are safety in numbers), and allow me to go back to getting work done and not stuck in meetings all the time. I thought this could work, but I don't think the environment is right. I actually think I was set up to fail in a number of ways. Maybe not consciously, not deliberately, but the environment is wrong, not supportive, too insecure. So maybe it's time for a change back to research, back to my roots, followed by a search, later on, for something different. I don't know. We'll know more after tomorrow's meeting.
I'm bored, anxious, fidgety. I'm not used to being home in the evenings, unable to go to the gym. It sucks!! The gym is like a 2nd home to me (sometimes it feels like a first home!) and not being able to train is driving me insane! Or maybe it's just being stuck at home, injured, fed up with work, eager to leave for Thailand. I'll go google Thailand and then check out Carrie's blog some more to keep me on the happy track to leaving for the warm climes of Asia.
Monday, December 03, 2007
adventure with a shoulder, day 2
I went for physio this morning and, once again, had a quite astounding reaction to the slope of my shoulders. Barb, my therapist, asked me "have you always been that asymmetric?!". Nope! So she did a bit of probing and diagnosed the separation as 2nd degree, as well as a separation of the sternum-clavicle (SC) joint, which further explains why my shoulder is so low. She was actually impressed and said it's rare to see such an injury as usually, with that much impact, the clavicle breaks. So I don't know if I'm lucky or just a freak of nature! So a course of physio, every day, is in order - ultrasound, interferential, massage, etc. And with my arm in a sling for a while, plus the pain killers. I get the results of my x-ray tomorrow. I also have the name of a good ART specialist, so I will try him as well.
No training. No running. I can try spinning, provided I don't use my right arm.
This totally sucks. What are the chances of doing this much serious injury to myself 16 days before leaving for Thailand?! Horrible, horrible luck. Fighting in Thailand is now out of the question. Training should be ok, but I'll just be getting back to it by the time I arrive in Phuket. I just want it to get better, be as strong as before, so that I can train and be able to work as hard as I want to. Right now, I'm just in pain, from my shoulder up into my neck and a bit across my collar bone. I don't know what happens when I stop taking the pain killer, Toradol, and go back to normal Aleve or Advil.
No training. No running. I can try spinning, provided I don't use my right arm.
This totally sucks. What are the chances of doing this much serious injury to myself 16 days before leaving for Thailand?! Horrible, horrible luck. Fighting in Thailand is now out of the question. Training should be ok, but I'll just be getting back to it by the time I arrive in Phuket. I just want it to get better, be as strong as before, so that I can train and be able to work as hard as I want to. Right now, I'm just in pain, from my shoulder up into my neck and a bit across my collar bone. I don't know what happens when I stop taking the pain killer, Toradol, and go back to normal Aleve or Advil.
TORADOL (ketorolac tromethamine) is a member of the pyrrolo-pyrrole group of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). The chemical name for ketorolac tromethamine is (±)-5-benzoyl-2,3-dihydro-1H-pyrrolizine-1-carboxylic acid, compound with 2-amino-2-(hydroxymethyl)-1,3-propanediol (1:1), and the chemical structure is:
 |
Ketorolac tromethamine is a racemic mixture of [-]S and [+]R ketorolac tromethamine. Ketorolac tromethamine may exist in three crystal forms. All forms are equally soluble in water. Ketorolac tromethamine has a pKa of 3.5 and an n-octanol/water partition coefficient of 0.26. The molecular weight of ketorolac tromethamine is 376.41. Its molecular formula is C19H24N2O6.
TORADOLORAL is available as round, white, film-coated, red-printed tablets. Each tablet contains 10 mg ketorolac tromethamine, the active ingredient, with added lactose, magnesium stearate and microcrystalline cellulose. The white film-coating contains hydroxypropyl methylcellulose, polyethylene glycol and titanium dioxide.
The tablets are printed with red ink that includes FD&C Red #40 Aluminum Lake as the colorant. There is a large T printed on both sides of the tablet, as well as the word TORADOL on one side, and the word ROCHE on the other.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
shoulder in agony
17 days before heading to Thailand, with the main goal of training, and I manage to bang up my shoulder. My right shoulder. i got swept during a rolling session at the gym yesterday afternoon and came down right on my shoulder. pain was accompanied by a snap-crackle-pop. stupidly, i kept rolling with it hurt (lightly, thankfully). i tried celebrex, aleve and scotch to dull the pain, but to no avail. last night, trying to sleep was brutal. i had to sleep on my back with a blanket holding up my arm. today, i went to the walk-in clinic at the university. the doctor totally flipped out at the slant of my shoulders!! she poked and proded and finally suggested that i have separated my shoulder. peachy. so i have to go get an x-ray, keep my right arm in a sling to keep the weight off the shoulder, and take pain killers. FUCK!!!!!! how much does this suck?? i am not a happy camper right now.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Countdown to an Asian adventure!! 20 days!
Okay, I am officially very excited that I only have 20 more days until I leave for Thailand!!! Woo hoo!! This is amazing. I'm actually a bit in awe that I am actually going - it's been such a long time in the planning. Last night, I applied for my Cambodian Visa online and received it back by email within 15 minutes of application. This is a note to all other countries: follow Cambodia's example!! It was so easy - enter in your Passport details, date of entry, point of entry, upload a jpeg, pay $25 USD, and away you go! A 30 day Visa in no time. It comes as a PDF, which you cut out and paste into your passport (along with bringing a 2nd copy for the immigration desk at the border). Easy. It definitely simplifies matters, and will reduce the time spent in line-ups at the border when we arrive. Right now, our plans look to be focused on going overland by train to the Thailand-Cambodia border, and cross at a town called Poipet, then take a taxi to Siam Reap. We've also decided to travel from Siam Reap to Phnom Penh via the river ferry down the large resevoir, Tonle Sap. The paragraph below describes this ferry service, taken from the website www.canbypublications.com, a site all about Cambodian travel. Note the italicized, bolded sentence:
"Ferries depart for Siem Reap from the Phnom Penh Port (on Sisowath Quay) at 7:00AM daily. Ferries depart Siem Reap for Phnom Penh from the dock at Chong Khneas (15km south of Siem Reap town) at 7:00AM daily. Passage is $21-$25 and should be purchased a day in advance (251km, 4-6 hours). Tickets can be purchased through your hotel, guesthouse or travel agent. The ferries are ‘local transport’ and are of variable quality and comfort, often noisy, crowded and over-air conditioned. Though generally safe, these ferries have experienced breakdowns, groundings and other difficulties. These ferries in no way meet international safety standards. Travel is best during the wet season (June-November) when the water is high. Dry season low water levels can mean smaller, less comfortable boats and occasional groundings."
In no way meets international standards. I think that was the selling point for actually USING this service!! Now that's a great way to have an adventure! I think it's going to be a fantastic way to experience Cambodia - 6 hours on a slow ferry down the main resevoir, checking out the villages along the way, talking with the locals. Woo hoo!!
My plans for my time in Bangkok are shaping up nicely:
Dec 22nd: arrival
Dec 23rd: Chatuchak Market and then going to get a sak yant done in the later afternoon
Dec 24th: sight-seeing in Bangkok (Grand Palace, Wat Pho, etc.), river hopping
Dec 25th-26th: Ayutthya and Arynik (26th: bus back to Bangkok in afternoon)
Dec 26-27th: training at a Muay Thai gym north of Bangkok (Keatkhamtorn gym)
Dec 28th: Fly to Phuket
That's going to be a full week!
I think I'm all set here. Almost all packed as well. And I'm definitely ready to leave this snowy city, leave my computer and all the hassles and struggles of work and head to warmer climates and not have to think about anything about training and eating and relaxing and working on a nice tan. It's been more than 4 years since I've had a real holiday. The last time I took off for any length of time was 2004 when I drove down to the SW USA and spent time at the Double E ranch. But that was more of an escape than a holiday. It was pre-burn-out, pre-breakdown, and I didn't really relax as I was already slightly off my rocker! And driving 15,000 kms in a month was not necessarily relaxing. It was therapeutic, yes, but not relaxing!!
Back to surfing sites about Thailand and Cambodia. Woo hoo!
"Ferries depart for Siem Reap from the Phnom Penh Port (on Sisowath Quay) at 7:00AM daily. Ferries depart Siem Reap for Phnom Penh from the dock at Chong Khneas (15km south of Siem Reap town) at 7:00AM daily. Passage is $21-$25 and should be purchased a day in advance (251km, 4-6 hours). Tickets can be purchased through your hotel, guesthouse or travel agent. The ferries are ‘local transport’ and are of variable quality and comfort, often noisy, crowded and over-air conditioned. Though generally safe, these ferries have experienced breakdowns, groundings and other difficulties. These ferries in no way meet international safety standards. Travel is best during the wet season (June-November) when the water is high. Dry season low water levels can mean smaller, less comfortable boats and occasional groundings."
In no way meets international standards. I think that was the selling point for actually USING this service!! Now that's a great way to have an adventure! I think it's going to be a fantastic way to experience Cambodia - 6 hours on a slow ferry down the main resevoir, checking out the villages along the way, talking with the locals. Woo hoo!!
My plans for my time in Bangkok are shaping up nicely:
Dec 22nd: arrival
Dec 23rd: Chatuchak Market and then going to get a sak yant done in the later afternoon
Dec 24th: sight-seeing in Bangkok (Grand Palace, Wat Pho, etc.), river hopping
Dec 25th-26th: Ayutthya and Arynik (26th: bus back to Bangkok in afternoon)
Dec 26-27th: training at a Muay Thai gym north of Bangkok (Keatkhamtorn gym)
Dec 28th: Fly to Phuket
That's going to be a full week!
I think I'm all set here. Almost all packed as well. And I'm definitely ready to leave this snowy city, leave my computer and all the hassles and struggles of work and head to warmer climates and not have to think about anything about training and eating and relaxing and working on a nice tan. It's been more than 4 years since I've had a real holiday. The last time I took off for any length of time was 2004 when I drove down to the SW USA and spent time at the Double E ranch. But that was more of an escape than a holiday. It was pre-burn-out, pre-breakdown, and I didn't really relax as I was already slightly off my rocker! And driving 15,000 kms in a month was not necessarily relaxing. It was therapeutic, yes, but not relaxing!!
Back to surfing sites about Thailand and Cambodia. Woo hoo!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
24 days til Thailand!
For the first time in about 6 weeks, I've had a weekend to myself. Yeah!! I didn't even go to the gym yesterday as I'm trying to heal welts on my feet, a result of doing 1000 kicks on the banana bag last weekend. So I went for 10 km run, did laundry, groceries, etc. I managed to get all my midterms marked as well.
I think it's time to bite the bullet and stay on anti-depressants. I stopped taking them, and again am finding myself quick to anger, excessively touchy and irritable, and in general negative. The snark has returned and I don't like it. I'm going to do myself, my dog or someone else harm if I continue like this. When anger bubbles up, it tends to happen very fast, and brings along fairly violent notions, which is not good. So... back to the meds. I had thought all would be ok, but I guess a chemical imbalance is just that and requires additional chemicals to keep it in check and in balance. Sigh. I hate genetics.
On a good note, only 24 days until I leave for Thailand!! Yeah! I am scheduled to fight at 145 lbs on Koh Lanta on January 11th. Woo hoo!! 6 weeks away! I'm a bit nervous, but in general just looking forward to it. I was having dreams last night about lying on beaches and relaxing. I can't wait. I so badly need to decompress, spend time by myself meditating and cleansing my aching head, spring cleaning on emotional baggage!! I have quite a bit of work to get done before then, including final exams and a few other science fair things, but it'll go fast.
My concern right now is getting back on track with regards to eating and exercise and losing the weight I've gained over the last 1.5 months. Ugh. I was 157 lbs before my fight, dropped down to 150 lbs for the fight, and was 165 lbs on Friday when I went to see Beth. Double UGH. I got a lecture from both Beth and Kru about fluctuating weight and how it's bad for me. Ya, I know. But once you get into a carb binge routine, it's hard to stop. I'm an emotional eater - and lately, with my emotional state running a bit on edge, being on a short fuse, eating is something that comes naturally. So, I have a big sticky-note near my front door warning me of Thailand being close, hoping that this will stop me when I decide to eat at night. During the day is fine - it's at night that I start to snack and over-eat.
The worst thing is that I cut up my feet on the banana bag last weekend and it's taking forever to heal the wounds. They're on a bad place, on the top of my feet, and they never seem to be aired out enough to start the healing process. Very frustrating. I'm going to have to tape them to train this week, which will just make it worse as they aren't closed wounds yet. yeesh.
I think it's time to bite the bullet and stay on anti-depressants. I stopped taking them, and again am finding myself quick to anger, excessively touchy and irritable, and in general negative. The snark has returned and I don't like it. I'm going to do myself, my dog or someone else harm if I continue like this. When anger bubbles up, it tends to happen very fast, and brings along fairly violent notions, which is not good. So... back to the meds. I had thought all would be ok, but I guess a chemical imbalance is just that and requires additional chemicals to keep it in check and in balance. Sigh. I hate genetics.
On a good note, only 24 days until I leave for Thailand!! Yeah! I am scheduled to fight at 145 lbs on Koh Lanta on January 11th. Woo hoo!! 6 weeks away! I'm a bit nervous, but in general just looking forward to it. I was having dreams last night about lying on beaches and relaxing. I can't wait. I so badly need to decompress, spend time by myself meditating and cleansing my aching head, spring cleaning on emotional baggage!! I have quite a bit of work to get done before then, including final exams and a few other science fair things, but it'll go fast.
My concern right now is getting back on track with regards to eating and exercise and losing the weight I've gained over the last 1.5 months. Ugh. I was 157 lbs before my fight, dropped down to 150 lbs for the fight, and was 165 lbs on Friday when I went to see Beth. Double UGH. I got a lecture from both Beth and Kru about fluctuating weight and how it's bad for me. Ya, I know. But once you get into a carb binge routine, it's hard to stop. I'm an emotional eater - and lately, with my emotional state running a bit on edge, being on a short fuse, eating is something that comes naturally. So, I have a big sticky-note near my front door warning me of Thailand being close, hoping that this will stop me when I decide to eat at night. During the day is fine - it's at night that I start to snack and over-eat.
The worst thing is that I cut up my feet on the banana bag last weekend and it's taking forever to heal the wounds. They're on a bad place, on the top of my feet, and they never seem to be aired out enough to start the healing process. Very frustrating. I'm going to have to tape them to train this week, which will just make it worse as they aren't closed wounds yet. yeesh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
