It's late Thursday night, tour day, and tomorrow is the Awards Ceremony and Banquet. Canada-Wide Science Fair 2008 is almost over. Where did the time go? On one hand, it's been endless - no sleep, very long days, more glitches than I could ever care to type out. On the other hand, it's gone by faster than I could have possibly imagined and the days and evenings of laughter with close science fair friends is quickly nearing it's annual end.
I'm of mixed feelings right now. I need this to be over so I can go back to my job, training, my "normal" life. But I need this also to continue as it has been my life for 6 years, in good times and in bad. Finishing the week is going to leave a huge hole in me that I currently don't have anything to fill with. Tabitha Foundation maybe.
If I wanted to be completely fair and politically correct and such, I'd sit here and write about how all the participants are smiling and happy and loving the week. Which is completely true - everyone is having a blast! It's apparently been a great CWSF, but sitting on the inside, it's hard to see that. I trust the compliments I've received and I'm certain it's been fantastic!! That was what we had planned for all these years!! So I have no doubt it's been great.
And I promise to come back after this one and write a post about the other side of this week, the excellent participant side of things. But right now, I need to vent. And really, what is a blog not for but to vent?!
But the other side of this, the personal side, the blog side, is that this week, mentally, emotionally and physically, has been completely draining. From this side of the street, all we do is put out fires. Glitches, fuck-ups, confrontations, medical emergencies, bitchy people, whining, complaining, etc. It all takes it's toll. And right now, I'm starting to feel those effects. The first couple of days were just frantic and everyone was at each others' throats. I was beginning to feel like answering the phone with "Complaint department". One committee member at another, committee member against one of our other organizing bodies. It didn't matter. My patience was wearing very thin (what there is at the best of times!!). Yesterday, I had an experience with someone who I consider a very good friend, but who I honestly wasn't going to be able to stand talking to anymore this week due to endless bitching about someone else. I'm upset about it, because it forced me to say something to someone else, and I feel like it will take result in problems in our relationship. But on the other hand, this week, I don't need to hear senseless bitching. Luckily, I got some good advice from other friends so I feel better today.
But the one thing that this experience has taught me is that the most difficult part of such undertakings is the interpersonal relationships. The logistics are easy. The work is easy. People are not easy. I know I'm not easy to work with and even less so when I have only slept for 3 hours or less the night before! But I'm discovering that it's not just me.
The network of complex relationships that we have built and nurtured within this group is mindblowing. I'm not sure I would know where to start in deconvoluting the complex algorithms that govern this organization that we call the Canada-Wide Science Fair. And that goes for all groups within the organization, not just the Host Committee for the year. Whether constant or variable, the players within this organization are possibly the most complex I have ever run into. I feel comfortable with someone one day, uncomfortable with them the next. Opinions and alliances change, if not daily, at least on a yearly basis, at times. Others are set in stone, never to change, no matter how positive the direction of change may be.
I'm trying to maintain a positive relationship, whether personal or professional, with other working groups other than our own Host Committee. I see a huge benefit in supporting the organizations that help to make the Fair happen every year. Yes, we've worked for 6 years planning this event, but we need to leave a legacy of convivial working relationships for other years to imitate. Granted, my own biases come into play here, as in every other case. In some cases, I don't mind rocking the boat. In others, I do, and will do my best to maintain a good relationship. Right now, I'm in that position - I'm trying my best to help a group get through this week and will do anything under my power to ensure that they are looked upon favorably by every other person here. I set this as a personal goal right from the beginning of this undertaking. At every fucking turn, I run into a wall. I run into people who seem determined to see the organization fall on its ass. And I think tonight, I'm just tired of it. Maybe because I feel right now that maybe that organization isn't appreciating, or isn't aware of, the work that is being done to bolster their reputation.
Tonight, I feel like maybe the effort isn't worth it. But that's the negative snark coming out to play, and I really don't mean that. Tonight I'm taking everything way too personally.
On a good note, I took 25 people over to Maru Korean and Sushi Restaurant for supper tonight. Host Committee and some of our long time friends. Merging two worlds, the reservation for the restaurant was actually made by another friend, who took the initiative to talk to the restaurant owner on my behalf, without me asking. I just thought it was such a nice, generous gesture and it made my evening. I stopped by to thank him and offer to buy supper and a beer, but had to settle for a raincheck. But it was just one of those moments that put a little smile on my face in a day that has been a bit cloudy (ignoring the 25 deg weather and no clouds in the sky). Being here on campus for the week, the other side of my life has been neglected. So even 10 minutes talking to and laughing with a non-science fair friend was a bit of a pick-me-up for the evening. Which is actually strange as I was headed over for supper with 20 other friends. I just needed that little break I guess.
I just checked the TBA Sanctioning website and discovered that a 3rd girl has been added to my weight division for the Iowa fights. Interesting. But the first girl has not paid her registration fee, so she may be dropped. I'd prefer to have a couple more girls in that division to make the run for the belt an actual hard fought battle. I want that belt. But I want to earn it the hard way.
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