Winds of change

The last week or so has been one of change. I knew that 2009 was going to bring about change. I knew it couldn't be worse than 2008 ended! And it's true - change is happening, and it's okay. I've embraced it. I'm learning to accept that change, that horrid word that most of us shrink away from, is nothing but a chance to grow and mature and challenge one's self. But it can hurt, it can be hard, and it can bring about mixed emotions. The last 2 weeks or so have taught me, more importantly than anything, how important good friends are in your life. I'm a very lucky person. I have a small group of good friends who I would do anything for and who, as the days go on, I come to appreciate and love more and more. It's a small group, but that's ok. One of those group told me that my problem is that I have too many people who consider me a friend. Maybe. Maybe I have alot of acquaintances. But true friends? No. Those people who I will fully open up to emotionally? No. Those who I trust fully? No. That's a very select bunch. It's an introvert characteristic.

Tomorrow I drive down to Toronto to get Rebel - yeah!!! I'm so excited to bring him home. It's been a long wait. Apparently he's doing amazing traveling up through the USA and is settling down and really enjoying myself. Last night, I had a bit of a breakdown, a full-out crying, sobbing 2 hours or so, when it simply hit me that Abbey is gone. It's been 3 months. And the wound hasn't healed fully. In fact, last night, it was ripped wide open again. It hurts so much. Such mixed emotions - excited and happy and giddy about Rebel. Sad, heartbroken and so lost about Abbey.