lunch hour woes

Frustrating day today. I've been sleeping badly, which isn't doing anything to increase my patience level, but training sessions like the one I had at lunch push me over the edge. Lunch time classes used to be fairly advanced. Lately, there have been alot of beginners. Which I'm all for - the more beginners the better. But when I'm lacking patience, and want a good workout, I don't want to train with them. I know, as an advanced student, I should be patient and help them hold pads correctly. But it means that I don't get a work out at all during the hour. And now, I'm just frustrated and pissed off. I want to go back later this evening to get in a hard workout, but I probably shouldn't and should just simply go for a run. It won't do my foot any good to go and pound on the bag in frustration.

Squat-quads and squash-butt

This morning I am more sore than I have been in months. Muscle sore, not injury sore. i.e. the good kind of sore!!

My quads are soooooo sore from cards the other night, and I know I can specifically attribute that to the jumping squats during 'cards' on Wednesday night.

Yesterday, I went for a 5 km run at lunch, and played squash in the evening at Women's City League. Right now, it's just a drop-in evening, play American scoring until you're too tired to move any more. What I discovered last night is that my endurance is amazing - I don't tire out. But my technique is shit!! A year of not holding a squash racquet and it's doing to take a while to shake the rust off! But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After a few games, I started thinking and planning shots rather than just thrashing the ball to bits. Footwork was a bit of an issue as I'm so used to having my left foot as my lead leg - standing in the backhand position with my right foot forward feels a bit strange. But it's all coming back to me and I think a few more weeks and I'll be right on track. Aerobically, no problem! I could play all night. I wanted to keep going but the other ladies were calling it a night.

Afterwards, we went to a local sports bar for some food/drink. I was good and only had a beer as I had eaten a healthy supper prior to playing. I realize I have to learn to be moderate. Cutting weight for my fights in Iowa was way too restrictive of a diet and lifestyle, and if I'm going to maintain a fight weight, or somewhere close to it, then I need to learn how to be moderate so the deprivation/binging cycle gets broken. I gained alot of weight back after Iowa and now want to lose it in a healthy way. That means being able to go out once in a while and have a beer with friends and not feel guilty for it, not beat myself up for it later, or, worse, deprive myself of regular food to make up for it. I don't know if I could maintain 145 lbs, but 150 lbs is certainly doable, and right now, that is the goal weight to which I want to return. No problem - that leaves me 10 lbs to lose. Again. I can feel the change between 150 and 160 lbs and I don't like it. Clothes don't fit the same. Running feels a lot more difficult. My Thai shorts don't fit the same. So. Back on the wagon and the 3 weeks of bingeing and post-fight crash have to come to an end.

I realized that now, for the first time in about 6 years, I'm not stressing and prepping for anything. Since coming back from Thailand, I've been prepping for a fight, and planning the science fair non-stop. And, with the end of the Iowa tournament, I'm free of big future goals. No fights this fall (as of yet) and the science fair is over. I'm finally, after a very long time, free to get back to "normal" existence. Back to research, back to normal training, back to (maybe) having somewhat of a social life.

Although I feel I need a goal to work towards - a fight would be nice. But maybe not until my foot heals.

Things are looking up

After a somewhat brutal summer at work, things are finally looking up. Today, for the first time in many, many, MANY months, I actually felt back to my old self and excited about future mineralogical research. A couple of things have been the catalyst for this:

1. A new project - woo hoo!! I have agreed to do a project on the mineralogy/geochemistry of the Los Island syenites. The Los Archipelago is off the coast of Guinea, West Africa. The first person to study these rocks was Lacroix, the famous French mineralogist. Luckily, all his original material is still at the Natural History Museum in Paris. Conveniently, I happen to know the curator there very well!! So, this joint project is coming together, which also will include a trip to Paris to study the material. And the rocks are cool - neat mineralogy, and no one has really studied them indepth yet. Ya, the geology has been studied a bit, but not extensively. There's a possible wealth of new species waiting to be discovered.

2. I'm going to Golden, Colorado for the "Mineralogy and Museums 6" meeting. This happens every 4 years, alternating with the IMA conference. In 2004, it was in Paris. This time, it's being held at the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, about 40 miles from Denver. And since I'm the Canadian rep on the commission, I should probably go. I wasn't going to go as I have no budget, but one of my colleagues and friends has graciously offered to pay my way. I'm so excited. This is going to be a great "welcome back to mineralogy" conference. On top of it, it's in the friggin' Rockies AND in horse country!! How much better can it get? I'm staying after MM6 to go to the Denver Mineral Show for one day, meet with a colleague from the Smithsonian, and of course meet my Parisian contact. Oh, and also hike Pike's Peak and go to the New Belgium Brrewing Company and take the tour. And hit up every western apparel store I can possibly find. I'm thinking I need a brown pair of cowboy boots. I have a black pair, but a distressed brown pair would be awesome!! Hand made of course.

Oh man, I'm so excited. It's going to be a great first week of September!!

Right now, my quads are so sore. I did a Phase 2 class tonight, then stayed for CSW afterwards. And we did 'cards' as our "warm up". For anyone who has not had the pleasure of doing 'cards', this is how it works:

1. Take a deck of cards, shuffle well, place in centre of circle of people
2. The are three main exercises to be performed: jumping squats, push ups, and crunches (in that order)
3. The first person in the circle flips a card over: for example, a 7 of clubs. Everyone must then do 7 jumping squats.
4. The second person in the circle flips over the next card: for example, a 10 of hearts. Everyone must then do 10 push ups.
5. And so it goes, repeating the exercises in whatever rep the card dictates. Going through the entire deck takes about 20 minutes.

It's a much more enjoyable experience with interesting cards. Kruu has one set that has military/political leaders from the Middle East on them - it always makes the session interesting when each time you flip a card, you have to pronounce the dictator's name. :)

I actually enjoy doing cards. My quads don't! Jumping squats will kill you if you keep hitting them on the face cards, or the ace (11). But given that I've been a lazy slug for the last weeks, this was a good way to get back into it.

Tomorrow evening, I'm playing my first session of squash in more than a year. This should be interesting! I guarantee that I'll have squash butt on Friday morning. Actually, more likely it will be Saturday morning! I've decided to play women's city league this fall, and the ladder at the Sportsplex. I suspect I'm not going to have a fight this fall, so thought I'd cross train a bit. It's the skinny end of the racquet that you hold, right?

Squash

I've decided I need to cross-train a bit and contacted the coordinator for the women's city squash league this afternoon. If I can play squash 2-3 times a week, it'll help both aerobically and anaerobically, and help with my reflexes. Strangely enough, as soon as I sent the email off, I felt very calm and content. Maybe it's what I need - a bit of a change of pace and a chance to let my foot heal properly. The only thing is making sure I get a day off during the week!!!

The dirty deed

Tonight I did something I've been putting off for ages - I went bra shopping. I HATE bra shopping. It means 1-2 hours spent in a change room surrounded by packaging, hangers, and dozens of potential purchases. I hate it. I usually like shopping. Even for sports bras. But bra shopping? It seems so intimate, so revealing.

My initial reason for heading to Bayshore was the find something cute to wear to a bbq at Kru's place this weekend. But I entered at The Bay. Wrong move. I knew then that I couldn't avoid it. The dirty deed had to be done, and since I am too gimpy to train, tonight was the night to bra shop. If one can't do Muay Thai, obviously the alternative is to go shopping for supportive undergarments!!

After the whole circus and chaos of trying on dozens of the evil things, I went to pay at the cash. First, the concept of "customer service" was lost on this lady. Then, she asks me "Do you live near by?". The question stopped me short. Do I live near by? Why in the world would she ask that? Was it some sort of old-customer-service-lady pick-up line? Did she want to personally bring me more bras as a thank-you gift for shopping at The Bay? Turns out that usually on the weekends these items go on sale, and if I close by, it would be easy for me to stop by and receive a rebate for my purchases for the day. Whew!! No strange bra-lady will be stopping by my house and I didn't have to tell not-so-friendly cashier lady that I had a headache.

Night of 1000 kicks

Wouldn't you know it. The first Phase III class I go to in ages, and Kruu decides it's the night of 1000 kicks. Usually, Phase III is really technical, or half technical, half sparring. But no!!! 1000 kicks tonight. On a busted foot. Yup. I don't think I'll be walking tomorrow. Hitting the bag seems to be okay, but hitting a Thai pad, my foot seems to hit at just the wrong angle, catch the edge of the pad, and sends sharp pains up and down my foot and leg. And of course, I'm not going to be called a wimp so don't opt out of the rounds. Since we were odd numbers, someone had to be out on the heavy bag alternate rounds anyway, so I managed to get 4 rounds out, which took away some of the torture. The last 2 rounds, I worked hands. However, pivoting for a right hand even hurts.

I think part of the problem are my new running shoes. I made the, seemingly, mistake of buying New Balance instead of the regular Asics or Saucony that I usually buy. These ones seem to make me suppinate as the pain on the outside of my right foot is being mimicked by the left one as well. I think it's time to swallow the cost of these shoes, put them deep in the closest, and head back to the Running Room and buy my regular shoes.

Oh, and we didn't come anywhere near 1000 kicks - closer to 500 given we didn't have enough time in the class.

Rockin4Tabitha 2008 - new poster!!!

September 18th - Be there!!

I took the last week off training in order to let my foot heal. Probably a smart move, and something that I should have done the week after the fight, not 2 weeks later when it was made worse by training and running!! But I trained last night a bit with Naaron and it didn't hurt when I hit the pad, so I think it's healing well. Tonight, I'll go train in the Phase III class and see if the pain stays away. The next edition of "Throwdown in O-Town" is October 4th and I'd like to fight on that card so have to get back at it.

I've not been in the best of head states for the last couple of weeks. Self-deprecating, maybe. Not training enough, that's for sure. But since Iowa is over, I am forced to re-focus on work and the rest of my life, both of which I've been successfully avoiding while I was in fight-prep mode. I have to get my research career back on track, and have to figure out how to balance work and training. Not easy.

The one thing I have noticed since coming back to research is the number of people who have come to me and told me that when I switched to doing communications, they thought I was nuts! Okay, so a few more vocal colleagues told me this right off the bat, but these have been quieter people. And alot of them!! And they are happy to have me back to being a scientist and not naively trying to change the world.

I've had a few other things on my mind that I can't seem to shake off. I got an email from my father a couple of weeks back in which he said that he had seen the video of my first fight and photos from Thailand. HOW? That's my main question. So it appears that someone has been leaking information to him when I have specifically requested them NOT to. And I know it's not my brother. And that pisses me off.

Secondly, after the CWSF I happened to tell a friend of mine that I was slightly pissed off and disappointed in her actions during the week of the Fair. Since then, we haven't spoken. I'm not surprised that she got upset, but I know that I was in the right and had fully logical and legit reasons to be pissed off. However, it still upsets me. Part of me wants to be the bigger person and give her a shout. But part of me wants the apology I thought I'd get after the first email when I voiced my reasons for being upset. Nope. Although, again, I'm not surprised. We've had a volatile friendship for the last number of years, being very different in the way we go through life in some ways, but so alike in others. Part of it is her not being able to open up to me, hiding too much. I'm willing to be open, I've tried to get her to talk about the problems in her life, but no such luck and she resorts to intellectualizing, avoiding the issues, and then discussing work. Or more likely, bitching about a colleague of ours. None of which resolves the issues. As such, it's taken a toll on our friendship. The very first day of the Fair, an event that I had spent 6 years of my life organizing and put all my heart and soul into, she comes up to me and says "I want to leave this Fair already". Okay, so how would you react? I, of course, was shocked and pissed off. The only thing that saved me from reacting was that I was in the process of gathering up our guest speakers for the Opening Ceremony and really couldn't stop to process anything. But it set the tone for the rest of the week and made me increasingly sensitive to her abrasiveness. For someone who wanted so badly to help our Fair run smoothly, I think I saw her for a grand total of 20 minutes during the entire week. The science fair group is a close knit family. Of course, as with any family, we have our ups and downs, our fights and make-up sessions. But it's all good, and we spend the time together, as a group. Not hiding somewhere else as she did for the entire week. It increasingly made me mad, to have our Fair shunned, for her not to see what we had accomplished.

Wow. Okay, this post wasn't supposed to be about that, but I guess I had to get it out. I'm still upset about the entire situation and unsure what to do. Do I want to rekindle the relationship? I actually don't know.

Speaking of strange, volatile, vaguely destructive relationships, I have the opportunity to go back to Paris. The initial Paris fiasco was 6 years ago. Since then, I have matured, dealt with many other manipulative people, and have learned how to deal with difficult situations. But can I handle going back to Paris? Not sure. I'd like to though - I like the city, the culture, living away from Ottawa for 4 or 6 months. If I could find a Muay Thai gym while there, it would be perfect. But can I handle it? I don't know.

Tensions rise at the Thai/Khmer border

Crossing the border between Thailand and Cambodia might not be as simple as it was last year. Due to a territory dispute between the two countries near a famous temple, Preah Vihear, military troops are gathering in frightening numbers - the Phnom Penh Post states that 1700 Khmer troops are stationed at the temple, and they come armed with tanks and other heavy artillery. It's a situation that has a few of us wondering how volatile the situation could become in the next weeks. We do know that the staff at the Tabitha Foundation in Phnom Penh have been instructed to go home and stay away from the office until Wednesday. This was mainly because the national elections took place today and it was unsure whether there would be violence associated with that.

But at the borders, who knows? All it would take would be for one Thai or Khmer soldier to fire their gun or launch a rocket, one 'accident' for the entire situation to turn to war. Both sides of the border have long histories of violence and it's very possible that the friendly border that currently exists will be negated in a flash.

What happens with the build? Dunno. Personally, I plan to cross into Cambodia via Laos anyway, and have no intentions on cancelling my trip.

It's been a very lazy weekend. Tomorrow, bike to work and then Muay Thai and CSW in the evening. I tossed around the idea of going to Scott's cottage, but (1) I can't afford it, (2) I don't want to travel, and (3) I really can't handle the food/alcohol tempations!! Not that I am doing much better here. Yesterday, PMS eating took full hold of me and I indulged in a couple of beers as well as some junk (oooh, Hagendaaz, something I haven't had in about a year!!). Sigh. Oh well. I really shouldn't feel so guilty - no one forced the food into my mouth and made me swallow. But now, being very conscience about what I eat, falling off the wagon makes me feel horrible!! Between over-indulging and sleeping in all weekend, I feel really icky. Oh well. Tomorrow marks the start of a fresh week.

Rockin4Tabitha 2008 coming soon !

It's been a 3 beer day. Why? Because I'm PMS'ing, my intercostal muscles are killing me, and it's been a bleak, dreary day.

I was at the gym this morning and did a bit of knife work with Kruu. There are days I just don't know what he wants me to do - hold on to the knife? let it go? strong or weak grip? stab back? I don't know!!! I get so confused. If that had been a live blade, I would be dead 100 times over. If I was ever confronted with a live knife, would I react in a way that would allow me to survive? I don't know. I get so frustrated though. With Muay Thai, I pick up techniques easily and fast. With Kali or any of the self-defense techniques, I'm really slow.

The designer who is doing our Rockin4Tabitha 2008 poster was shooting photos this morning as well. That got me thinking about all the money we have to raise for this year's build. So here it is - a call out to anyone reading this blog - help us out!!


We want to raise enough money to build 20 houses in February 2009 (that's $20,000, $1000 / house). If you're reading, simply send me a message and I'll let you know how you can help, where to send the cheque, etc. You'll receive a tax receipt for donations over $25. But hey, get your work place or your gym involved!! Put out a donation box and let everyone deposit their change! It all adds up. Every penny that we raise goes directly to the houses that we are building. There is no overhead with the Tabitha Foundation.

Must... get...back... to... training....

The weekend is here and that means it's time to get back on the horse and into training/fight-prep mode. I've been a total slacker for the last week or so, not watching what I eat too closely, and certainly not being on top of my cardio. So, the fun ends tomorrow and it's back on track fully. Although it was sort of nice to be a 'normal' person this past week and relax a bit!! However, it takes alot of work and dedication to train as a fighter and no matter how restricted that might be, I have to get back on track so all the past hard work doesn't go down the tubes.

Although doing pad work is proving to be dangerous as my foot is killing me. I woke up this morning and it was super stiff and sore. Not good. I should probably go see a doctor, but really, what are they going to say except "stay off of it"?! I did manage to get ahold of my ART guy, and he's got me on the schedule to come in as soon as he gets a cancellation so he can look at my intercostal muscles. The right side is worse than the left but both sides do need some work.

So, back on track tomorrow. Kali and some bag work in the morning, then run in the afternoon since it doesn't seem that going for a bike ride is going to happen given that thunderstorms are in the forecast.