cursing genetics!!!

Genetics. It can deal you a great hand, or it can screw you over! In some ways, I have good genetics - no major physical health history except diabetes and obesity, but in other ways, I'm cursed. Cursed by bad mental health on both sides of my family tree - depression, anxiety. Either recognized or ignore, but it's there. And apparently, at this point in my life, I'm powerless in the fight to keep it at bay. Without meds that is. The last 2 weeks being 'clean' of anti-depressants has left me feeling like I'm in permanent PMS mode - anxious, easily angered, stressing about things that aren't in my control, and being paranoid about inter-personal relationships. As such, this morning I decided to 'self-medicate' and went back on a 10 mg doseage. I have an appointment with my doctor next week anyway (to have her check my wrist), so will talk to her about my wonderfully fucked up brain chemistry!!!

Ah genetics. Gotta love it. Bad brain chemistry, no ass, weight gain around the middle. Peachy.

I can also tell I'm headed back into depressive habits when I start blogging again! That's always a good indication.

I gave a talk at the Young Toronto Mineralogists Club this weekend, at the science centre. It was a great time! 30 kids and their parents, and a few adults I know who I haven't seen in a while, which was great. I brought Rob, Liana and Luke along with me, tried to get Luke into the minerals. Brian and Mary had me over for supper that evening, which was actually alot of fun. Dave was there as well. Sunday, I stopped in Kingston on the way home and had a chat with Brad about picking gem rough while in Thailand/Cambodia. It's not going to be easy! But I hope to get some material that will be good enough for cutting for myself and Bob.


Today was Day 1 of the STAN conference. I have mixed feelings with regards to this organization. We had a short round-table discussion on the best ways to measure metrics for the group, but the one big road block I see is that the organization doesn't seem to have a solid mandate or goal! It's hard to measure metrics for something when you don't know what you want to achieve. STAN is essentially an advocacy group for all NPO and some for-profit groups in the country dealing with youth science, or science education in general. One of main problems is that although we all want to work together, we also all have to compete for the same pot of money. A pot of money that decreases continuously every year.

Still writing, which means the hedgehogs are still running rampant and therefore the thoughts are inside but not coming out.