1st day of training in Phuket (Chalong)

The last couple of days have been a whirlwind, but I've arrived in Phuket and am actually starting to feel relaxed. It's taken me almost a week to simply relax, not worry about work or the CWSF or the dog at home. Actually, that's not bad! It usually takes me a bit longer. I still feel somewhat tense, but that will diminish as training and the heat continues to tire me out.


My last day in Bangkok (27th) I spent going to Ayutthya to visit the old temples and purchase training daab for Krabi Krabong. The only problem is that I woke up in the moring at 9am, my alarm not gone off yet! I had set it for very early so I could catch a train and see all the sights before meeting Serge to buy daab. Apparently I had the clock set wrong (PM instead of AM) so had a bit of an unplanned sleep in! Although I slept through the night, so the rest was appreciated by my still somewhat jet-lagged body. I find that at 3pm every afternoon, I am ready to crash. It's getting better, but I'm still feeling a bit out of it. I think the exercise helps.

I dressed and got ready quickly, grabbed some quick food (horrid gross breakfast at the hotel), and took the Skytrain to Hualamphong train station. A ticket to Ayutthya was 30 baht ($1) and the trip was 1.5 hours. Total bargain!!! Although that was 3rd class, so no AC, but for that money and only a short ride, I didn't care.

Once in Ayutthya, I walked around a bit and called Serge. I wound up spending the afternoon with him (an ex-pat from Luxembourg who handles selling daab and knives from various craftsmen in Arynik). He took me first to the royal elephant kraal where I got to touch my very first elephants!! There were a couple of babies as well, one just born on Christmas day (they named him Santa...) and they were so cute!! And hairy! The mothers were somewhat protective, but in general they let you play with their babies, feeding them, handling them no problem. The babies like to play games and head-butt you (and even at 2 and 3 weeks old, these "babies" wheigh 300 lbs!) or undo the shoe laces on your running shoes! It was a great experience. Although I came away with elephant snot and dirt all over me! You can actually book to stay at the kraal for days at a time. During your stay, you take care of an elephant, help to do the training, cleaning feeding, etc. It's actually not all that touristy and if i had more time on my hands, I might consider a stay there.

After lunch at an Italian place, I spent an hour or so choosing daab at Serge's place before going into the village to see the forges and workshops. The process of making the daab is pretty simple actually - they cut a blank (taken from railway train springs) to the shape they want, then do all the forging, hammering, etc. The heating is done in an open pit with wood, and the quenching done just in water (no differential hardening at all). The blades are either etched or carved by a diamond-tip scribe for whatever design they want. But some of the woods they use are incredible! Tamarind, rose wood, teak, etc. All hard woods and beautiful. I wound up buying a set of training daab, a 16 inch and a 24 inch daab, both with teak handles and fantastic etchings. Very happy. :)

I took the train back to Bangkok at 7pm (15 baht this time - $0.50 !!) and crashed. I walked around for a bit, had some noodle soup, took a shower and then tried, unsuccessfully, to get to bed early.

Yesterday, I was up at 5:30am to catch my flight to Phuket at 7:55am. Yeah!! It's a short, 1.5 hour flight down the coast, only to step out into sunshine and hot, humid 36 degree weather! And I thought Bangkok was hot!! Nope, nothing compared to here. It's hot and sticky and sunny all the time!! Awesome! As long as you let your body get used to it and drink lots of water. A driver from the gym picked me up at the airport, and we drove the 20 minutes to the Tiger Muay Thai, which is located in Chalong, south of Phuket town. It's a bit in the middle of nowhere, which is nice. Off the main roads that go to Rawai, Nai Harn and Kata/Karon beaches. I'm staying in a private tropical bungalow (complete with banana and coconut trees in my front yard, roosters in the back yard, and my own house geckos!!). I rented an automatic Honda moped as well as it's the easiest way to get around town. I thought it would be more difficult to operate, but so far so good! Although I haven't gotten up to speeds more than 45 km/h yet! Driving on the left hand side of the road is the real worry - it takes a bit of time to learn to look in the opposite direction from what you're used to. But I like having the bike - it gives me the freedom to come and go as I please.

I had my first training session yesterday afternoon. The head instructor put me in the Advanced group right away, which is fine except I haven't really trained in a month because of my shoulder, so I'm a fat lazy slug right now! Nothing like being thrown in head-first to get back into training. Friday's are sparring days, so after lots of warm up and stretching, then some bag work, I got to do a few rounds against this somewhat beginner from South Africa/California. She's been here for a month, so really new, but out-weighed me by about 75 lbs!! Oh man, I got pushed around the ring by shear weight! And no control either, so she managed to knee me right in the crotch which hurt like a bitch. It's still sore today. Not impressed by that at all. Then we did some pad work which almost had me puking in the heat! 50 knees on the bag, followed by 20 right kicks, 20 left kicks and 20 pushups. Repeat 3 times. Yup. Puke factor up!

This morning, at 7am (early so the heat didn't kill us) we drove in the backs of pick-up trucks to Nai Harn beach where we worked out on the beach itself. After 20-25 minutes of running up and down the beach (yes, I think everyone should be able to run up and down a tropical beach to train every day!! it's fantastic to run in sand with palm trees and the surf at your feet), we spent 2 hours doing various technique workouts, shadow boxing, and then finished the session with a tug-of-war! Nice way to spend the morning, that's for sure.

So far I like it here. The trainers are nice and most farang visitors seem to be as well. There are a couple of Canadians here as well (2 from Ottawa actually, but the guy is a bit of a twit and very high on himself - trains MMA somewhere in town). They would like me to fight in Koh Lanta on Jan 18th, but I'm very apprehensive since I haven't been training and my shoulder still aches. I don't want to ruin it for training at home, something more important than a few weeks here. That aside, on a personal level, I also don't want to fight here without my own Kru in my corner. That's important to me. Here, I'm just another farang who they can stick in the ring and make money off of. If I get the shit kicked out of, or even not, they don't really care about me as a person. It would be fun to fight, so I don't want to sound like a chickenshit and say no to a fight, but realistically? is it the best move right now? Probably not. So, I'm here to train hard, to learn, to get back into shape after being off injured for a month, lose the weight I put on during that time, and come back to Canada ready to fight in the spring. Yes? Still, a part of me says "chickenshit".

I'm sitting in a small internet cafe just near Karon beach. Me and my little moped are taking the afternoon to sight-see along the coast. I stopped outside Chalong and had roast duck and pork with rice, and now will enjoy the sunshine! Since tomorrow is Sunday and the gym is then closed for 3 days for New Year's, tonight there is a huge bbq at the gym. All you can eat and drink for 250 baht. Woo hoo!! I think if I drank beer here though, I'd be sick as a dog tomorrow. More water on the menu!!

Spoons: not just for soup anymore.

A few things I have learned about Thailand in the last couple of days:

1. Always tell your taxi driver to put his meter on before leaving.
2. Always bring kleenex into washrooms. And if going into a Turkish (aka: squatter) toilet, make sure your sense of balance is working that day.
3. Spoons: not just for soup anymore. Thais use a spoon like we use a fork. Actually, quite efficient.
4. Never travel by taxi at 3pm in the afternoon. BTS is much quicker, unless you're supremely bored and like watching rush-hour traffic.
5. Tuk tuks are rip-offs, period.
6. There are Starbucks in strategic places across town - for the coffee-addict amongst us, it is best to find these places asap otherwise you will definitely regret drinking Thai coffee.
7. Carnation milk can top any food group, from sticky rice to ice cream to coffee to mango.
8. Riding for 5 hours in a Thai taxi will make you very, VERY car sick.

The last 2 days have been a melange of experiences. I am getting used to Bangkok - I discovered that I've learned the ropes when the cab driver who took me back from the Suan Lam Night Bazaar to the Ambassador Hotel tonight didn't put on his meter right away and decided that he wanted to bargain for a fare. No way man! He wanted 80 baht, a ridiculous amount for the distance of travel. I think he was either (1) impressed or (2) pissed when I insisted on the meter. Turns out the trip was 50 baht. Not a big difference if you do the conversion, but it was the principlet that counted - the "don't screw over a farang" principle!

Yesterday, I met up with Spencer, the German who runs the sak-yant.com website, who is an expert in sak yant and Buddhism in general. He met me on Khao San Road as he was willing to take me out to his Ajarn, the monk Hlwong Pi Pant. He used to be at Wat Bang Pra, but now has his own Wat, Wat Kho Phoon [Wat of the Concrete Cow (seriously!!)] way out in Ang Thong province, north of Ayutthya. I actually feel very privileged as I am the first farang that Spencer has taken out there in a long time, and I am most likely the last female to receive a sak yant from H.P Pant - there are workings afoot to restrict monks from tattooing females.

We took a cab out to Ang Thong, but took the long way around - via country roads rather than the main freeway. It was actually a great trip - I wouldn't have seen this scenary otherwise. Being out of Bangkok and in the countryside was a treat - rice field far and wide, local farmers in the fields or in the creeks/rivers harvesting crops and fishing, water buffalo roaming the roads, etc. It was nice to see something other than concrete. However, the taxi ride was not the most enjoyable experience for me! I think jet lag finally caught up with me and I was extremely car sick for the entire 2.5 hour ride out there. I had to get Spencer to tell the driver to pull over into a gas station so I could get some fresh air, some water and juice, and convince myself that I wasn't going to hurl all over the back seat! I've never been car sick in my life, so the only thing I can attribute this to was jet lag and the fumes along the roads.

We finally made it to Ang Thong after minor delays and being misplaced in random fields. Wat Kho Phoon is a collection of run-down buildings near a small village school. H.P. Pant has moved from Wat Bang Pra to restore this Wat - rebuilding the monestary and temple, and helping the near by school. Definitely a worthwhile endeavor and worth contributing to.

H.P. Pant himself is the first monk I have had direct contact with for any length of time, and it was a great experience. When we arrived, he was in his main office area with a number of his young (13-18 year old) disciples. And 2 minature poodles and one cat! It was a friendly, comforting environment to be in. H.P. Pant is a smiling, happy man with a great sense of humor. And given the language barrier between us, this was actually not a difficult thing to figure out!! He seems to very much enjoy his position (his job?) and the people who were there. He laughed and joked with me throughout my stay. When he was asking me what yant I wanted, and I said a Hanuman for protection and strength of self, he showed me the one he would do, but then kept joking and showing me a baby Hanuman - "Baby monkey! Baby monkey!!".

The yant I got is right below the gao yord by Ajarn Kaew. And it hurt worse, and took amost an hour to do. Because I'm a female, he had to do the work through a sheet while Spencer and 2 other of the boys held my back and shoulder. He kept asking "Ok?" to which I'd reply yes, and he'd respond "Cool, cool!!". Fuck no, not cool! It hurt like hell!! But it's very detailed and beautiful. At the end of it, he blessed the yant with the mantra, and gave me an original amulet from Wat Bang Pra (they aren't being made anymore). He told me I am "strong like a bull", which I think is a compliment? We spent a bit more time at the Wat, talking and joking, then had to leave as our taxi driver was waiting outside for us. He drove us to the wat, waited 2.5 hours, then drove us back to Bangkok. All for 1500 baht!

Actually, the cab ride was an experience in itself. The driver went looking for a fighting rooster while we were with H.P. Pant, so we had a long discussion on the way back to Bangkok about cock fighting. Here in the North, the roosters don't fight to the death. One basically turns "chicken" and tries to run off when it can't take the fight any longer. In the south, they do fight to the death. I had asked the driver to get me a spur if he found one, but since they don't kill each other here, they don't use spurs.

Back in Bangkok, I had the taxi and Spencer drop me off at Khao San Road so I could get a bit of fresh air and walk to the hotel. I was still feeling like crap from the return car ride (1 hour on th freeway, but still nauseous the entire way!), so stopped to get some food. I was back at the hotel, in bed, by 9pm! Merry Christmas!

I finally got a good night's sleep last night (the night before was horrible and my shoulder was aching something fierce), so this morning I felt ready to tackle the streets of Bangkok again. I decided on a long walk, mainly to get to the Monks' Bowl Village north of China Town, and then with thoughts of getting to the river (never made it there). I wound up stopping at a lapidary shop and looking at stones and rings. I broke down and bought a small (0.37 carat) ruby in silver in a ring. It's not a perfect stone (for 2000 baht, it couldn't be!), but it's kinda cute, and it is my birthstone. The salesman dealt with me as a regular customer initially, but before long came to realize I knew more than a normal person. Asking to see the stone in a microscope or a hand lens might have tipped him off! And showing him the flaws in a few of the other stones I didn't buy might have done that too... But it is a real ruby, and isn't fractured but has an inclusion or two, which I think is what gives it character.

The monk's bowl village was really neat. They make bowls for alms out of steel and copper in the traditional way - 8 separate pieces (representing the 8 ways of the Buddha) are hammered together, welded with copper wire, and then hammered and polished. There are 6 separate steps in the process, all done by hand. It takes 5 days to make one bowl and there are only 5-6 familes in the "village" doing the craft. Fascinating actually. The bowls are beautiful.

Ok, the minature poodle in this internet cafe just pee'd on the floor beside me!

After an unsuccessful attempt at getting a taxi to the Ambassador Hotel, I wound up hopping the BTS (skytrain) in rush hour traffic. I think I like the Baan Chantra in Banglamphu better, although it was more expensive. This is a big hotel in a business neighbourhood. Baan Chantra was quaint, quiet and in the old part of Bangkok. But being here will give me a chance to explore this side of the city.

I went for supper on Soi 38 (very spicey, amazing tasting squid and shrimp on rice!), and then headed off to the Suan Lam night bazaar at Lumphini station. What a freakin' crazy place!! Wow! It was so awesome!! Anything and everything you wanted to buy, eat or drink, and it was there! It's HUGE. I was totally lost at one point - had no idea where the exit might be! Actually, they had many handicrafts and art that I have yet seen in other stores/markets, which was a nice change from the knock-off crap. I picked up a really cool hand-made leather/paint Hanuman print to frame. In one section, you can buy coupons and then buy food and beer. Given that they were having some sort of German beerfest, I was able to get a dunkel wheat beer! No Beer Chang! And the music was something. Young Thais screaming English pop songs on stage. I say screaming as they weren't really singing. I think they were trying to sing (?) but their interpretations of songs by the likes of AC/DC were hilarious! Beer-induced I would think. But highly amusing!

Tomorrow I head to Ayutthya and Aranyik to visit the old city and buy daab. How I will get these things home, I have no idea. Actually, I'm having that problem in general - I keep seeing beautiful art and teak that I would like to buy, but how do you ship a 4 foot long teak lintel, or 3 foot high Buddha statue home?!

That's all for today folks. It's 1am and I have to be up early! Chok dee!

Christmas in the tropics

As a short summary of the activities on Christmas Eve, I have composed a rendition of the "12 Days of Christmas" for you all. Enjoy! Remember, this creative little biddy was composed after a long day while lying in bed after 3 Beer Chang!

The 12 Days of Christmas (Eve), Bangkok style

One the 12th day of Christmas Bangkok gave to me;
12 crazy tuk-tuks
11 t-shirt vendors
10 nak muays fighting
9 dogs a-barking
8 stunning wats
7 smelly khlongs
6 monks a-praying
5 Beer Chang!
4 pig part soups
3 stunning wats
2 sak yant tats,

And a rooster in a banana tree!!

Thank you, thank you, I know my lyrical abilities have stunned you all!! Grin!

Christmas Eve in Bangkok was actually not as strange as I thought it would be. This is only the 2nd time I have not been in Sudbury for Christmas in 33 years, and I'm not entirely sure there's anything wrong with that. I feel a bad that I'm not with my family for all the group fun and festivity, but it's not the holiday I miss. I did call home yesterday, and again today while everyone was over for Christmas Eve supper. They had turkey for supper: last night I had what can best be described as "pig part soup".

For my festivities, I spent the morning walking around this area randomly, through back sois and along the khlongs. I find this is the best way to explore my surroundings, and to discover the non-tourist areas. I got myself good and lost actually!! I finally hopped a taxi and went to MBK. For all intensive purposes, MBK is a 7 story mall. But a mall unlike any in Canada! It contains 7 floors of knock-offs, cheap electronics, rows upon rows of silk, coconut and teak products, and whole floors dedicated to furniture or food! It was a lot for a jet-lagged farang to deal with on the 2nd day in the city! I spent a few hours cruising around the various levels, completely mind-blown at the number of stalls, the number of people, and the obscene sayings/pictures on some of the t-shirts!! Although the best one I have seen is "Adidogs", a play on the "Addidas" logo, which I thought was hilarious. I might pick up one of those! I did buy a few silk pictures for framing and gifts, but otherwise did not buy any souvenirs. I'm attempting to leave that for the end of the trip so that I don't have to lug anything around for the next 4-5 weeks.

About 2 hours into my foray, I got side-tracked and fell into a massage parlour. One of the best ways to spoil yourself: spend 1.5 hours getting a massage, pedicure and manicure! It was incredible. The ladies taking care of me were amazing, and also got a kick out of my calves, and then, I think, frightened of the calluses on my feet (saying "muay thai" seemed to explain all!). The entire experience was amazing and incredibly relaxing. There is nothing like a foot massage after a full day of city trekking! And now I have pink toes (first time for everything) and clean feet! Well, for an hour anyway - the dirt from the city seems to get right through my shoes and turns my socks and feet a lovely shade of grey.

After MBK, I took a moped taxi (insert huge grin here! way too much fun) to Ratchadamnern Boxing Stadium and bought a ring-side ticket for the fights. Being there an hour early left me time to do some shopping at the Raja store attached to the stadium, and participate in the Thai tail-gating party outside the stadium. Dozens of people were sitting on small stools around open-air food carts, drinking beer and waiting for the fights to begin. I grabbed a seat, the only farang in the crowd, and ordered a bowl of what I can only best describe as "pig part soup". The lady cooking said "pork - do you want everything?", so, being open to eating anything, I said sure! I think (but don't quote me on this), the soup contain liver, kidney, uterus, tripe, and then just general pork. As well as chilies and bok choy. It was great!

I watched 8 fights in the stadium, starting with 2 fights of 15 and 17 year olds (no young kids, which I was grateful for). It was a great display, sometimes of technique, sometimes of shear ferocity and balls. 3 fighters were taken out of the ring on a stretcher (2 of them due to knees to the liver/abdomen), but most of the fights were decisions. Very few elbows, which surprised me. I made friends with one of the security guards standing at the gate near the red corner and chatted with him, in very broken English, about the talent, trying to decide who was the better fighter.

After 3 beer Chang and 8 fights, I decided it was time to drag my sorry, tired self back to the hotel for some sleep. I took a motorcycle taxi (no, I don't have a death wish! This form of transport is just way too much fun!) from the stadium to Khao San Road where I went in search of a late-night snack of mango and sticky rice. Yum! I think this is my new favorite food. Khao San Road is an all-night party. Maybe later in the week, when my body (and mind) has acclimatized, but last night, hanging out wasn't an option! Grabbing my sticky rice, I looked in a few shops, and headed home.

Merry Christmas!

Another day breaks, another breakfast of curry, and let the fun begin again!!

Okay, maybe after another cup of coffee and a Tylenol...

One night (and day) in Bangkok

Sawasdee ka everyone!! And greetings from Bangkok, the City of Angels, and the city that apparently never sleeps. The city where cats and dogs rule the streets, tuk-tuk drivers are very convincing, and where, if you stopped to eat at every street vendor, you'd never make it more than 2 blocks in a 24 hour period!! My big question tonight: Is it possible to subsist on sticky rice with coconut milk and mango slices? I hope so!!! My other pressing questions is: Do I have to come home?!

After a flight which is better left undiscussed (seriously, 30 hours on a place, plus lay-overs is just not a section of my life I want to relive! Thankfully, I slept most of the last leg, having spent the first 13 hour leg from Chicago to Tokyo playing "who's arm rest is this?" with an obnoxious French guy from Montreal!), I arrived in Bangkok at midnight last night (Dec 22). Upon exiting immigration (note to self: next time you arrive in a country with free 30 day Visas, check to make sure you're staying for <>

I'm staying (for the next 4 nights) at the Baan Chantra Guesthouse, which is located on Thanon Samsen (between Soi 6 and 8 - another lesson from experience - always carry a card with your hotel address on it in Thai so that cab drivers can find it...). It's a very nice place - AC in the rooms, comfy beds, TV. I wasn't sure i was going to sleep, but I fell asleep immediately (2am), and soundly.

This morning, following a breakfast of red curry and a mystery meat (pork?) and veggies, I decided to walk south towards Khao San Road (like Thamel in Kathmandu - total foreigner/backpacker hangout). Half-way there, I was accosted by a small Thai woman who wanted to know if I needed directions. I guess the dazed look on the face of the foreigner looking at a street map gave it away! Actually, I wasn't lost - I simply wanted to know which street I was on! Anyway, I spent quite a while chatting with this nice woman, which was very helpful as it turns out today was a very special holiday in Thailand - it is election day for the Parliament. That said, turns out it was also an excellent day to be wandering around as tuk-tuks to tourist places was really cheap, and entrance to the wats was free. The downside is that the entire country is DRY - no beer anywhere in Thailand today. I wound up hopping a ride with a tuk-tuk driver who, for 20 baht (about 80 cents) took me around to various wats (as well as the obligatory stop at 2 shops where he would receive commission - one for gems and another for suits). I got to see the standing Buddha at Wat Indrawihan (30 metres high), and made a few offerings there, and then the lucky Buddha. Turns out I probably got scammed in being dragged around town in the tuk-tuk, but you know what? For 20 baht, being jet-lagged and a bit dazed and confused, it offered me a chance to see Bangkok (at a ridiculously insane pace behind a crazed Thai driver!) and relax a bit.

Bangkok: Unorganized chaos. I swear there is nothing organized about this place! It's loud, polluted, frantic, crowded, and somewhat dirty.
But it's GREAT! I really like this city. My white running socks don't like the dirt, but hey, that's what laundry is for!

I had the driver let me out at the amulet market and I spent an enjoyable time browsing through the stalls, looking at the various new and old amulets. How you can tell a true "old" amulet from a fake is beyond me. I did buy two of them: one turtle, which I think is the yant Paya Thao Luean, and a small tiger with yant inscriptions on its back.

Around 11:30am, it was time to head to the Bang Sue metro station to meet up with Dave, an Aussie I met through the Sak Yant website, who was willing to take me to meet sak yant Ajarn Kaew near Wat Noi. I actually met Dave right on the metro - I couldn't miss him! So we grabbed a cab at the metro station and headed towards Ajarn Kaew's office. Once there, Dave introduced me, and told him which sak yant I wanted. We did a wai at the shrine in the building and then went and grabbed a cold drink, at which time Dave explained the protocol to me regarding receiving a sak yant. It's very ritualistic, and one has to always make sure the rules are followed - bowing at the proper time, what to do when the blessing is given, etc. What I wasn't prepared for was the pain!!

A sak yant, for anyone who doesn't know, is an ancient protective tattoo that is done by tapping a needle on a bamboo stick into your skin. The application is done by a monk, and sak yant master's are called "Ajarn". Sak Yant - Sak - meaning "to tap" or, "to tattoo", and Yant, meaning "Yantra". Originally derived from the Sanskrit word "YANTRA", the Ta and Ra letters are not pronunced in Thai Language, rather spelled as "yantr", including a symbol to silence the last consonant (called "Gaaran"). Whatever the case, Sacred Yant, Yantra, or Yan, however you prefer to call them, have existed since long before the Buddhist Era, dating back to pre Hindu times.

There were a number of people wishing to meet Ajarn Kaew, so he did a group blessing, then called me forward to be first. At first, he was going to apply the sak yant in oil (invisible) until Dave spoke up and said no, ink. I was positioned with by back to Ajarn, leaning my arms over a Thai triangular pillow. Ajarn Kaew started to work, marking the areas where the Gao Yord and the Yee Sip Yodt would go. It wasn't painful - just a slight marking up of the skin. Then, his two assistants stretched the skin on my upper back and he really went to work. Tattoos are nothing compared to this folks. This was NOT a pleasant physical experience!! This was actually worse than the ART therapy that I've been going through for the last 3 weeks for my shoulder!! He worked very quickly, tapping away at first on my lower neck along the spine, then working his way outwards towards my shoulders. About 1/3 of the way into it, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to handle it. My hands were clenched around my knees and everytime he shifted the stick and needle, I winced. What was amusing is that he and his assistants were having a great ol' time!! Laughing and joking (most likely about the wimpy farang girl wincing at the pain!) and talking with the others in the room when he wasn't chanting the mantra that goes along with the two sak yant. At last he stopped, and I was able to breathe again. I was supposed to get a Hanuman yant as well (a common Muay Thai protector), but he decided that Hanuman was too much of an angry animist yant for a female, so would not do it in ink. He did a brief outline in oil, and then I was done. He then took a Por Gae Ruseli headmask, placed it on my head and again incited a blessing and mantra to invoke the protection of the yants. Most sak yant Ajarn don't do this, so I was pleased and honored to receive this extra bit of ritual during my first visit. I turned around, wai'd three times to honor him, and got up to go back to my place. I was called back shortly, only to be given an amult of Ajarn Kaew's own making - an amulet of Hanuman. So although Hanuman is too strong and angry for me as a protector on my skin, it's ok for me to carry him (?) around with me.

All in all, it was quite the experience, one I will never forget. I'm not sure I'm ready for another one in the near future though! The pain, although worth it, was definitely something that should not be brushed off!

I took a cab back to the hotel after thanking Dave and dropping him off at the metro station. I had planned on going to Chatuchak Market, close by to Bang Sue, but with what amounts to an open wound fresh on my back, the last place I really needed to be was a huge market with thousands of people! So I came back to the hotel, changed, and decided to walk to Khao San Road. I spent a few hours walking in Banglampu Market, and on Khao San Road. It's crazy - stalls selling everything under the sun everywhere!! Absolutely crazy! I love it! Shopping-spree extrodinaire! I didn't buy much actually - 2 t-shirts, and I got my hair braided (ok, tacky-tourist thing to do, but it's going to be great for training next week - it won't get in the way!!). I was crashing with jet-lag big time around 7pm so decided to stop and get something to eat (duck and crispy basil) and then came back here. As it stands, my poor little brain is started to fail and is in need of a break after a somewhat hectic and full day.

What's on the agenda for tomorrow? I'm actually not sure! I found a place that will rent me a mountain bike for $10 for the day, so I might do that. Although biking in this city scares me slightly, especially since they drive on the opposite side of the road from us! But it would be one way to get around. It could turn out to be a river-ferry day, exploring down there. Or more shopping. Who knows!! I'm not on a schedule and can do what I want!!

Until later! Chok dee. Photos are posted on Facebook, for those of you who are on there.

6 days!!!

6 days!! Only 6 days left til the long flight to warmer climates, to sun and the beach and 3 solid weeks of training!!!

I made the mistake of stepping on the scale yesterday. Yikes. Not at all happy about that!!! I'm definitely going to Thailand and training with the idea of losing the weight I've put on in the last month or so!!! Argh. Not being able to train doesn't help. But lethargic living breeds more lethargic living. It's a vicious cycle, which often includes bad food on a regular basis. I so need to get back to regular eating and back on track to losing weight. The last 1-2 months, since my fight, have been horrible. I'm hoping that Thailand launches me back into the fitness mode.

The other night, I booked hotel rooms in Bangkok and Railay Beach through an on-line service, Agoda. What a great service! It makes life so much easier to know exactly where I'll be staying for every night while there. Bangkok is turning into a busy week. I'm getting my sak yant on the 23rd. I've been lucky enough to have a personal host bring me to a wat outside of Bangkok to get my back done. I can't wait!! It's going to be quite the experience. I'll make sure I get a video and photos (at least!). I've got a couple of days of site-seeing and shopping, then a day in Ayutthya and buying daabs. Then down south. Yeah!! Totally awesome.

The last couple of days I've been just giddy. Totally giddy. It's finally hitting me that I'm leaving. Bye bye!! Leaving on a jet plane! Ya, 24 hours on a jet plane at that!! I think I've blocked the flight to Nepal from my mind - I can't seem to remember how bad it was to sit on a plane for that length of time. Must be self-preservation or something.

resort room booked on Railay beach

7 more sleeps!!

Today I booked a room at the Sand Sea Resort on Railay Beach in Krabi. I figured that after the fights on Koh Lanta on January 11th, I'll pop across the bay to Krabi and check out the awesome beaches, caves and rock climbing on Railay. I've gotten all sorts of suggestions of things to do while there (it's great to have friends who have traveled extensively in Thailand before and who share the same sort of traveling likes and dislikes as I do!). The photos of the area are absolutely amazing. I so can't wait. It'll be a nice break between days of training in Phuket as well - a chance to get away from the camp crowd and off on my own for a bit of exploring and beachcombing.

My shoulder is starting to feel better. It only truly pains me if I put force on it by pulling or pushing. Otherwise, it's only sore in the morning and by the late evening. Yeah! I'm headed to the gym this evening to do some cardio, shadow boxing and maybe some kicking on the bag (if it doesn't rotate my shoulder too much). Fingers crossed that I'm not in too much pain when I come home tonight.

It's official...

The next 10 days are going to be unbearable! Waiting around to leave for Thailand is not going to be alot of fun, especially since I can't spend my time at the gym, working off anxious energy. Argh! That said, I'm getting alot of loose ends tied up, alot of reading done, and have watched numerous movies. Thankfully, by the time the weekend comes along, we have a number of Christmas parties to waste my time, and I have to mark final exams and assignments. I'm not sure that will be sufficient to keep me from packing and repacking and repacking again every day in anticipation! Doing dishes tonight will keep me busy for, oh, 1/2 an hour. But I really don't want to do dishes. What else to do?

I went for my first ART (active release therapy) session this morning. Only one word describes the experience - PAINFUL. I'm sure that it's going to help heal my shoulder and neck, but oh my god!! Pressure point therapy when you're already really sore is not a good experience. It was helped slightly by the fact that my therapist was really good looking and he was also a really nice guy! But still, OW!!! Right now, I've got one spot on my neck that refuses to calm down and is still aching quite a bit. I have a physio session tomorrow, then another ART session on Thursday. I'm hoping to go to the gym tomorrow at lunch to at least shadow box and do a bit of skipping. We'll see how I feel.

packing... and repacking

In the last month, I think I have packed and repacked my bag for Thailand about 25 times!! Today, I couldn't figure out where I put the extra SD cards for my camera. I've whittled down my packing to only one pair of convertible pants/shorts, 2 dry-wick shirts, a long-sleeved dry wick shirt with UV protection, underwear, sports bras and socks. I have to throw some training tops in there as well, but I figure I can buy anything else while there. And my towel is packed. The towel that has traveled to Europe, to Nepal, all across North America, etc. It has stories to tell, is faded and worn, but is my one creature comfort during trips abroad!

I spent the afternoon shopping for misc items like the dry-wick shirt, underwear, etc. And a book for the plane ride over. My shoulder is now aching from carrying bags and walking without it in the sling - not painful, just aching like it's been used all day. I'm actually pretty happy with how it feels today. I had to take off the tape that was stretched across my back - it was getting way too itchy and uncomfortable.

Note to self: when you injure your body, taking the time to heal properly is well worth it!!

I think I will go for a run tomorrow. Fresh air would be a good thing. A week off feels like a lifetime of being a slug.

subconscious enigma

How exactly does your body know what to do when you're asleep? I ask this because during the last week, I've not been able to sleep on my right side, for obvious reasons. Even sleeping on my left side has its problem when gravity takes my shoulder over. But to not lie on my right side, while awake, is a conscious decision. What happens when I'm asleep? I wake up having tweaked my shoulder a number of times during the night, but never have I woken up sleeping on the right side. How does that happen? How is it that during sleep, my body knows not to roll over on to that side?

Both Abbey and I had a good night's sleep last night, the first one in a week. He's happily munching away on kibble with sardines this morning before we head out for a walk and a coffee. So far so good - he doesn't seem sensitive anywhere, although the strange rash on his belly is still there. I think we're in the clear!

12 sleeps until Thailand. It doesn't seem possible actually. We went for Thai food last night and I learned a valuable lesson this morning - ease your way back into spicy food if you haven't had it in a while! We had 4 dishes, all of which were full of chilies! I'm paying for it this morning. I can't wait to eat fresh Thai food for 6 weeks - fruit, seafood, sticky rice. Yum! It's all good!

hey medical system! take a lesson from your neighbour veterinary hospital!

Nalene health concern (Globe and Mail)

So it looks like our old favorite drinking aid, the Nalgene bottle, has been pulled off the shelves by MEC. As I look in my cupboard, at last count I owned minimum 8 of these bottles, both Nalgene brand and other knock-offs, all containing the evil Lexan. What do we use for water bottles now? Stainless steel?

It's been a long, hard, stressful week. Tuesday night, I thought all was going well with Abbey's recovery from his tooth extraction. Around midnight, he was whining and standing on the bed staring at me. Thinking he just needed to pee, I took him out. 2 hours later, same thing. But after getting back into bed, I touched his stomach, trying to convince him to lie down and he screamed out in pain. That was enough to scare me and I called my vet to get the emergency number. 2:30am in the morning, I'm driving to the Ottawa Veterinary Hospital and checking him in. They immediately took an X-ray (note to human medical clinics: learn from vet hospitals! medical attention happens immediately!) and discovered he had a severe case of bloat (colic) and needed emergency surgery to decompress his stomach. I left him there and spent a sleepless night at home. The next few days were up and down with him developing more and more problems - weird pancreatic values, long clotting times, blood in his urine, a strange rash on his abdomen. Thankfully, the bloat did not occur, but these other problems were odd. Our final thoughts are that they were complications from either a drug or the anesthetic during the tooth extraction. Yesterday he was finally getting better, eating, up and socializing at the clinic. I went and saw him last night and he was exhausted - we had a nap together on the visitation room couch! The day before when I visited he had been in pain, slow, not social, etc. So seeing him last night almost back to his normal self was a huge relief. I picked him up today and he's sleeping soundly on the couch. I think the next couple of days will be fairly low-key for both of us! I'm so happy to have him home safe and sound. It's been a huge stress to have him away from home, especially since none of the vets were sure what was wrong. And he'd seen minimum of 4 vets during his time at the hospital, none of which was his own regular vet! That's hard on both of us. But he's home, feeling well and almost back to his normal self. Yeah!!

On top of the stress of him being in hospital, I've been at physio every day this week, attempting to get this shoulder back on track. Today it's doing a bit better, and I've been told to forgo the sling while at home and use the shoulder a bit so the muscles can start to strengthen. I've also got a few exercises to do each day to get it back into shape. It's still in alot of pain, especially down the side of my neck and into the trap muscle, but I think I'm going to stop taking the pain killer and just take Aleve.

Wow, what a week. TGIF definitely!! 14 more days until I leave for Thailand, which is almost shocking. The next two weeks will go by fast - Christmas lunches, Andy's coming to town for a couple of days, exams to mark. Yeah! Then off, off and away into the wild blue (warm) yonder! I should be go to train by the time I hit Phuket. Maybe not to do MMA, but certainly to be back on the bag, running, and maybe doing some sparring. I'll be so happy to get back into the gym. Being inactive is very, very frustrating!

woozy doggie!

On my couch lies a very stoned dog! I took him to the vet's this morning to have one of his molars removed and just picked him up. The tooth came out alright and should heal up very quickly, but right now he's still a bit woozy from the anesthetic. Poor thing! He looks so dopey!

2nd physio session this morning indicates that my trap muscle isn't working correctly - either a result of nerve damage or simply being damaged itself. It's not holding up the shoulder properly which is contributing to the lopsidedness of my shoulders. I decided not to take pain killers last night and regretted it today - I discovered how many different parts of my shoulder and neck are sore!! Ouch. The good thing is that my physiotherapist says that by the end of next week, provided I progress well in healing, I should be able to be back at the gym doing at least shadow boxing and lower body work. Yeah!!

I think I need a new job. The concept of "positive reinforcement" is lost at my place of work. Every time I get called into my boss's office, I feel like I'm going to catch shit. This new position is not fun for me, nor for him by the looks of it, so I think I may have to go back to research. It will take me out of harms way, make me one of the pack again (it's true - there are safety in numbers), and allow me to go back to getting work done and not stuck in meetings all the time. I thought this could work, but I don't think the environment is right. I actually think I was set up to fail in a number of ways. Maybe not consciously, not deliberately, but the environment is wrong, not supportive, too insecure. So maybe it's time for a change back to research, back to my roots, followed by a search, later on, for something different. I don't know. We'll know more after tomorrow's meeting.

I'm bored, anxious, fidgety. I'm not used to being home in the evenings, unable to go to the gym. It sucks!! The gym is like a 2nd home to me (sometimes it feels like a first home!) and not being able to train is driving me insane! Or maybe it's just being stuck at home, injured, fed up with work, eager to leave for Thailand. I'll go google Thailand and then check out Carrie's blog some more to keep me on the happy track to leaving for the warm climes of Asia.

adventure with a shoulder, day 2

I went for physio this morning and, once again, had a quite astounding reaction to the slope of my shoulders. Barb, my therapist, asked me "have you always been that asymmetric?!". Nope! So she did a bit of probing and diagnosed the separation as 2nd degree, as well as a separation of the sternum-clavicle (SC) joint, which further explains why my shoulder is so low. She was actually impressed and said it's rare to see such an injury as usually, with that much impact, the clavicle breaks. So I don't know if I'm lucky or just a freak of nature! So a course of physio, every day, is in order - ultrasound, interferential, massage, etc. And with my arm in a sling for a while, plus the pain killers. I get the results of my x-ray tomorrow. I also have the name of a good ART specialist, so I will try him as well.

No training. No running. I can try spinning, provided I don't use my right arm.

This totally sucks. What are the chances of doing this much serious injury to myself 16 days before leaving for Thailand?! Horrible, horrible luck. Fighting in Thailand is now out of the question. Training should be ok, but I'll just be getting back to it by the time I arrive in Phuket. I just want it to get better, be as strong as before, so that I can train and be able to work as hard as I want to. Right now, I'm just in pain, from my shoulder up into my neck and a bit across my collar bone. I don't know what happens when I stop taking the pain killer, Toradol, and go back to normal Aleve or Advil.

TORADOL (ketorolac tromethamine) is a member of the pyrrolo-pyrrole group of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). The chemical name for ketorolac tromethamine is (±)-5-benzoyl-2,3-dihydro-1H-pyrrolizine-1-carboxylic acid, compound with 2-amino-2-(hydroxymethyl)-1,3-propanediol (1:1), and the chemical structure is:

Ketorolac tromethamine is a racemic mixture of [-]S and [+]R ketorolac tromethamine. Ketorolac tromethamine may exist in three crystal forms. All forms are equally soluble in water. Ketorolac tromethamine has a pKa of 3.5 and an n-octanol/water partition coefficient of 0.26. The molecular weight of ketorolac tromethamine is 376.41. Its molecular formula is C₁₉H₂₄N₂O₆.

TORADOL^ORAL is available as round, white, film-coated, red-printed tablets. Each tablet contains 10 mg ketorolac tromethamine, the active ingredient, with added lactose, magnesium stearate and microcrystalline cellulose. The white film-coating contains hydroxypropyl methylcellulose, polyethylene glycol and titanium dioxide.

The tablets are printed with red ink that includes FD&C Red #40 Aluminum Lake as the colorant. There is a large T printed on both sides of the tablet, as well as the word TORADOL on one side, and the word ROCHE on the other.

shoulder in agony

17 days before heading to Thailand, with the main goal of training, and I manage to bang up my shoulder. My right shoulder. i got swept during a rolling session at the gym yesterday afternoon and came down right on my shoulder. pain was accompanied by a snap-crackle-pop. stupidly, i kept rolling with it hurt (lightly, thankfully). i tried celebrex, aleve and scotch to dull the pain, but to no avail. last night, trying to sleep was brutal. i had to sleep on my back with a blanket holding up my arm. today, i went to the walk-in clinic at the university. the doctor totally flipped out at the slant of my shoulders!! she poked and proded and finally suggested that i have separated my shoulder. peachy. so i have to go get an x-ray, keep my right arm in a sling to keep the weight off the shoulder, and take pain killers. FUCK!!!!!! how much does this suck?? i am not a happy camper right now.

Countdown to an Asian adventure!! 20 days!

Okay, I am officially very excited that I only have 20 more days until I leave for Thailand!!! Woo hoo!! This is amazing. I'm actually a bit in awe that I am actually going - it's been such a long time in the planning. Last night, I applied for my Cambodian Visa online and received it back by email within 15 minutes of application. This is a note to all other countries: follow Cambodia's example!! It was so easy - enter in your Passport details, date of entry, point of entry, upload a jpeg, pay $25 USD, and away you go! A 30 day Visa in no time. It comes as a PDF, which you cut out and paste into your passport (along with bringing a 2nd copy for the immigration desk at the border). Easy. It definitely simplifies matters, and will reduce the time spent in line-ups at the border when we arrive. Right now, our plans look to be focused on going overland by train to the Thailand-Cambodia border, and cross at a town called Poipet, then take a taxi to Siam Reap. We've also decided to travel from Siam Reap to Phnom Penh via the river ferry down the large resevoir, Tonle Sap. The paragraph below describes this ferry service, taken from the website www.canbypublications.com, a site all about Cambodian travel. Note the italicized, bolded sentence:

"Ferries depart for Siem Reap from the Phnom Penh Port (on Sisowath Quay) at 7:00AM daily. Ferries depart Siem Reap for Phnom Penh from the dock at Chong Khneas (15km south of Siem Reap town) at 7:00AM daily. Passage is $21-$25 and should be purchased a day in advance (251km, 4-6 hours). Tickets can be purchased through your hotel, guesthouse or travel agent. The ferries are ‘local transport’ and are of variable quality and comfort, often noisy, crowded and over-air conditioned. Though generally safe, these ferries have experienced breakdowns, groundings and other difficulties. These ferries in no way meet international safety standards. Travel is best during the wet season (June-November) when the water is high. Dry season low water levels can mean smaller, less comfortable boats and occasional groundings."

In no way meets international standards. I think that was the selling point for actually USING this service!! Now that's a great way to have an adventure! I think it's going to be a fantastic way to experience Cambodia - 6 hours on a slow ferry down the main resevoir, checking out the villages along the way, talking with the locals. Woo hoo!!

My plans for my time in Bangkok are shaping up nicely:

Dec 22nd: arrival
Dec 23rd: Chatuchak Market and then going to get a sak yant done in the later afternoon
Dec 24th: sight-seeing in Bangkok (Grand Palace, Wat Pho, etc.), river hopping
Dec 25th-26th: Ayutthya and Arynik (26th: bus back to Bangkok in afternoon)
Dec 26-27th: training at a Muay Thai gym north of Bangkok (Keatkhamtorn gym)
Dec 28th: Fly to Phuket

That's going to be a full week!

I think I'm all set here. Almost all packed as well. And I'm definitely ready to leave this snowy city, leave my computer and all the hassles and struggles of work and head to warmer climates and not have to think about anything about training and eating and relaxing and working on a nice tan. It's been more than 4 years since I've had a real holiday. The last time I took off for any length of time was 2004 when I drove down to the SW USA and spent time at the Double E ranch. But that was more of an escape than a holiday. It was pre-burn-out, pre-breakdown, and I didn't really relax as I was already slightly off my rocker! And driving 15,000 kms in a month was not necessarily relaxing. It was therapeutic, yes, but not relaxing!!

Back to surfing sites about Thailand and Cambodia. Woo hoo!

24 days til Thailand!

For the first time in about 6 weeks, I've had a weekend to myself. Yeah!! I didn't even go to the gym yesterday as I'm trying to heal welts on my feet, a result of doing 1000 kicks on the banana bag last weekend. So I went for 10 km run, did laundry, groceries, etc. I managed to get all my midterms marked as well.

I think it's time to bite the bullet and stay on anti-depressants. I stopped taking them, and again am finding myself quick to anger, excessively touchy and irritable, and in general negative. The snark has returned and I don't like it. I'm going to do myself, my dog or someone else harm if I continue like this. When anger bubbles up, it tends to happen very fast, and brings along fairly violent notions, which is not good. So... back to the meds. I had thought all would be ok, but I guess a chemical imbalance is just that and requires additional chemicals to keep it in check and in balance. Sigh. I hate genetics.

On a good note, only 24 days until I leave for Thailand!! Yeah! I am scheduled to fight at 145 lbs on Koh Lanta on January 11th. Woo hoo!! 6 weeks away! I'm a bit nervous, but in general just looking forward to it. I was having dreams last night about lying on beaches and relaxing. I can't wait. I so badly need to decompress, spend time by myself meditating and cleansing my aching head, spring cleaning on emotional baggage!! I have quite a bit of work to get done before then, including final exams and a few other science fair things, but it'll go fast.

My concern right now is getting back on track with regards to eating and exercise and losing the weight I've gained over the last 1.5 months. Ugh. I was 157 lbs before my fight, dropped down to 150 lbs for the fight, and was 165 lbs on Friday when I went to see Beth. Double UGH. I got a lecture from both Beth and Kru about fluctuating weight and how it's bad for me. Ya, I know. But once you get into a carb binge routine, it's hard to stop. I'm an emotional eater - and lately, with my emotional state running a bit on edge, being on a short fuse, eating is something that comes naturally. So, I have a big sticky-note near my front door warning me of Thailand being close, hoping that this will stop me when I decide to eat at night. During the day is fine - it's at night that I start to snack and over-eat.

The worst thing is that I cut up my feet on the banana bag last weekend and it's taking forever to heal the wounds. They're on a bad place, on the top of my feet, and they never seem to be aired out enough to start the healing process. Very frustrating. I'm going to have to tape them to train this week, which will just make it worse as they aren't closed wounds yet. yeesh.

cursing genetics!!!

Genetics. It can deal you a great hand, or it can screw you over! In some ways, I have good genetics - no major physical health history except diabetes and obesity, but in other ways, I'm cursed. Cursed by bad mental health on both sides of my family tree - depression, anxiety. Either recognized or ignore, but it's there. And apparently, at this point in my life, I'm powerless in the fight to keep it at bay. Without meds that is. The last 2 weeks being 'clean' of anti-depressants has left me feeling like I'm in permanent PMS mode - anxious, easily angered, stressing about things that aren't in my control, and being paranoid about inter-personal relationships. As such, this morning I decided to 'self-medicate' and went back on a 10 mg doseage. I have an appointment with my doctor next week anyway (to have her check my wrist), so will talk to her about my wonderfully fucked up brain chemistry!!!

Ah genetics. Gotta love it. Bad brain chemistry, no ass, weight gain around the middle. Peachy.

I can also tell I'm headed back into depressive habits when I start blogging again! That's always a good indication.

I gave a talk at the Young Toronto Mineralogists Club this weekend, at the science centre. It was a great time! 30 kids and their parents, and a few adults I know who I haven't seen in a while, which was great. I brought Rob, Liana and Luke along with me, tried to get Luke into the minerals. Brian and Mary had me over for supper that evening, which was actually alot of fun. Dave was there as well. Sunday, I stopped in Kingston on the way home and had a chat with Brad about picking gem rough while in Thailand/Cambodia. It's not going to be easy! But I hope to get some material that will be good enough for cutting for myself and Bob.


Today was Day 1 of the STAN conference. I have mixed feelings with regards to this organization. We had a short round-table discussion on the best ways to measure metrics for the group, but the one big road block I see is that the organization doesn't seem to have a solid mandate or goal! It's hard to measure metrics for something when you don't know what you want to achieve. STAN is essentially an advocacy group for all NPO and some for-profit groups in the country dealing with youth science, or science education in general. One of main problems is that although we all want to work together, we also all have to compete for the same pot of money. A pot of money that decreases continuously every year.

Still writing, which means the hedgehogs are still running rampant and therefore the thoughts are inside but not coming out.

contemplating life... again

So it's been about 2 weeks since I've been off anti-depressants entirely, and I'm wondering if it's maybe not something I should go back on. At my doctor's discretion, I took my dosage down from 40 mg, to 20 mg, to 10 mg, and then to zero. But I find myself easily frustrated, angered, and generally on edge and snappy lately. I can't relate that to hormonal changes, so I'm wondering if either I'm just in general stressed, or anxious and need to at least be on a 10 mg dose. I would rather not be on any dose, but I guess the alternative (driving everyone else around me crazy) is worse.

I've been fairly introverted lately as a result - I haven't wanted to get into many in-depth conversations, share any deep feelings. I attempted to once this week, share the thoughts on an experience that shook me a bit, taught me something about person-to-person interaction, and I think it might have landed me in trouble. Why is that? I'm never sure who in my life can take a more honest, deep observation, and who might simply look at me as if I'm fucking nuts.

I'm off to Toronto this weekend, both a good and bad thing. Although I think I need a few "Paula days" as a friend put it. I'm over-trained, tired, stressed-out, and somewhat emotionally unstable right now. The last few weekends have been hectic (not in a bad way, but still busy) and I haven't had time to simply relax. Tuesday morning, I crashed. I slept in. I couldn't help it. I needed the sleep. It only occurred to me that I've been training non-stop since last Thursday without a day off (including the Ajarn Chai seminar this weekend). I've got one wrist that is completely fucked up as a result of grappling and holding pads. It started with a rough hold by someone in our csw class who I absolutely hate wrestling with (he wrecked my shoulder a couple of months back and I spent 2 months not able to sleep on that side) and the pain has gotten worse. I'm unsure whether it's broken or simply sprained badly, but alas, it hurts like a bitch. And it's my own fucking fault for continuing to use it and train. Screw it though, I need to train to make sure my mind stays calm.

Argh.

Just having one of those days. One of those weeks! I'm frustrated. Relationships are confusing me entirely.

Work is confusing me and a source of frustration. Even training lately confuses me, which should be the simplest of all, but in reality it's not! It's easy at the beginning. It's harder when you become more serious. I want to fight more. I want to train hard, work hard, fight hard. Am I the right person to want to be able to do that though, that's the question.

Sigh.

So off to Toronto tomorrow, which means missing another weekend of Kali and BJJ, which totally sucks, and a weekend of having to be social.

Amateur Muay Thai Record: 0-1; post-fight analysis

Howdy folks, and welcome to the post-fight analysis part of this blog!!

I had my first amateur Muay Thai fight on Saturday, Oct 13th. It was held at L'Academie Sportive in Montreal, as part of the Quebec Olympic Boxing championships. They had a full afternoon of Thai fighting in amongst the regular boxing.

In the days leading up to the fight, fighting was not actually my worry! Making weight was! That shouldn't have been too much of a worry, but of course, it was. In the end, the worry was for nothing and I weighed in fine for the 150 lbs limit (67.8 kilos). But the last week I was on a diet of salad and tuna and a regime of long, slow distances on the stationary bike at the gym! I was giddy a good portion of Wednesday and Thursday, attempting to not drive myself bonkers thinking about the fight, and doing my best to use positive visualization techniques to imagine myself winning.

I drove down to Montreal on Friday, knowing full well that, being a horrible morning person, the cost of a hotel room was very much worth the security in knowing that I didn't have to drive 2 hours pre-fight, worry about traffic, the weather, etc. Turned out to be a good idea as the hotel had a sauna, pool, and I got a very good night's sleep. I was weighing 153 lbs when I got to the hotel, so spent a few hours doing a salt-bath that evening to get rid of some water weight. What's a salt-bath you say? Only a very, very boring 2 hours spent in a saturated solution of table salt to draw water out of your body by osmosis! 2 hours in the bath tub is not fun. But it's a bit more bearable than going in and out of a sauna! And you can read in the tub. Once out of the bath, I watched tv, relaxed, and tried not to think about the fight that morning. I did have a dream that evening that I completely forgot how to punch and kick! But otherwise I slept quite soundly, which surprised me.

Saturday morning, I got up at 7am and weighed myself: 149 lbs - Woo hoo!! I went back to bed for another 1.5 hours to get some more sleep. At this point in time, I was very hungry and also very thirsty! Being used to 4-6 litres of water per day, cutting fluid intake for a day was a shock for me. But it worked for making weight. And catching up on fluid with 3 hours between weigh-ins and the fight wasn't a problem.

After dressing, packing, and repacking my gear to make sure everything was there (head gear, mouth guard, shin protectors, gauze, tape, you name it), I called the valet service to get my car out of the garage (again, another perk to staying at a nice hotel!!). L'Academie Sportive was a couple of blocks east of my hotel, a short drive. I found the gym, parked the car and went inside. The lady at the desk didn't seem to understand what was going on, so I hung out a bit until a few other fighters showed up. We were all congregated around the main fight venue doors until 10:10am when they finally started the weigh-ins in a different room.

Kruu Bob and Wendy showed up around 9:50am, and I was very, VERY happy to see them! Up until then, I was nervously standing around, listening to my iPod and avoiding everything else. It was so nice to see a smiling face; even better, the smiling face of your instructor!

Weigh-ins got started, forms for medical purposes were filled out, I weighed in and that was it! I scarfed down a protein bar, at which point in time Kru decided that breakfast was in order. We tossed my gear into his car and headed across the street to a diner which had pancakes and high-carb items on the menu. Kru was adamant that I throw back a breakfast with alot of carbs and it had to be pancakes or waffles. It was hilarious - I've never had anyone practically force-feed me pancakes before!! I ordered this huge plate with waffles, bananas and chocolate syrup, and alot of coffee. The three of us sat and chatted and had breakfast for an hour or so, which was very enjoyable - talking about Thailand, Cambodia, travel plans for December and January.

We headed back to the gym and found the warm-up "room" for the red corner - a small storage room off the gymnasium itself. The fights were being held in a gymnasium with the ring elevated in the centre of the gym. It was questionable whether we had walked into a fight or a rave!!! Disco lights and rave/dance music seems to be the choice of 'ambience' for Montreal fights!!

The next 2 hours or so were a mix of prepping for the fight, warming up, and attempting to stay calm and energized all at the same time! Not an easy feat. Kruu Bob wrapped my hands with gauze and tape (not the knuckles though) and warmed me up easy on the pads. He also tapped my shin guards in place so they wouldn't wobble around during the fight. These weren't my standard shin guards - these were simple foam ones I bought last week that would allow for a much more penetrating shin and more pain. :)


I think the worst part of the whole fight scene is sitting/standing around waiting. I was 3rd on the card (although you wouldn't be able to tell from the names as somehow they got my name spelled horribly as "Paola Phillina" - the worst rendition of my name I have ever seen!!!). Fights were supposed to start at Noon, but the promoters kept putting it off and putting it off. We finally got started around 1pm, and they cancelled the 2nd fight so I was up 2nd on the card.

Dom and Kurt from the Academy showed up, which was fantastic, so Kruu asked Kurt to be his assistant in the corner (in prep for Dom's pro fight in Montreal November 10th). The ring assistants came by with the gloves for the fight - 10 oz gloves!! Small little things! Awesome though - Rival brand and I really liked them (thinking of getting a heavier pair myself). 10 oz gloves weigh nothing when you're used to 12 oz and 16 oz!! Kruu tied them on and then taped the laces in front of the assistant. He then put on my headgear and greased up my face, massaging my nose to get the airways open so I could breathe well. Then, more waiting. A bit more light pad work. When the first fight went on, I started to get really nervous!! No turning back now!!!

As the first fight ended, we walked to the red corner of the ring, preparing to enter. Kruu Bob held down the ropes for me and I hopped over top (hoping to hell I didn't miss and wind up flat on my ass!). I did a modified/shortened Wai Kru (three bows and then sealed the ring), winding up back in my corner. At that point in time, I stood in my corner, bowing, and Kruu put his hands on my head, forehead to my forehead, and we stayed like that for a bit of time. I'm not one to ever believe in energy transfers, etc., but I must admit that this act, the head-to-head quiet moment, was one of the most calming experiences I have ever had. Seriously. It felt like any nervous tension I had was drawn out of me and I knew at that point that all would be ok as I had support of my Kruu and he believed in me. I know, sounds strange, but I really did undergo a sort of transition at that moment.

I'm not entirely sure I can re-cap each individual round. There were punches and kicks and alot of clinching, more kicks, some punches, etc., but exact details, I'm not able to give. You can see the fight video at www.youtube.com/Piila2 . All in all, I didn't get hurt. Yes, I got punched a couple of times HARD, but nothing that really rocked me. I think I landed many more hard blows than she did, and I'm convinced she was probably hurting the next day. What shocked me was how absolutely GASSED I was half-way through the first round. Okay, my cardio is good, so I know that wasn't the issue. I was shocked at how much nervous tension can take out of you. It completely zaps your energy and left me flat-footed and shocked. Half-way through the first round, I simply stopped. Kruu Bob says it looked like I had blanked out for a bit, but I was actually thinking. I simply wanted to hit "pause" and regroup! Everything was happening way too fast - too spastic. I could hear him yelling at me to throw punches or kick, but my brain seemed to pause. It finally started up again, but it was an interesting 20 or 30 seconds of dead time!!

In the 3rd round, about 30 seconds in, I had her on the ropes and threw a couple of punches. I got her with a left hook at which point she spun away and dropped her head. I chose that time (consciously or subconsciously) to land a straight knee right into her head. Ooops. Knees to the head weren't allowed. And followed it up with a right cross square on her head as well. Until I saw the video, I didn't even know what had happened - I think I simply caught her with the right cross. So did Kruu Bob and Kurt.

She dropped to the ground, crawled over to her corner and sobbed there. The ref counted to 8, then her corner bitched and complained, so they stood her up and gave her some more time. Meanwhile, I'm standing in the neutral corner wondering what the hell is going on! Then the ref turns to me and motions that I've got a point taken away from me, which I still didn't understand why.

Once we finally got going again, I just laid into her. I managed to teep her IN THE FACE! Twice!! Personally, I was impressed! I didn't think I could teep that high! Woo hoo!

My opponent was awarded the fight on points, a split decision. Although I would have liked to win, I must say that the experience was completely worth it, and losing means that I have learned alot and have alot to work on before my next fight!!

A couple of things I was happy with:

1. I could hear my corner the entire time. I even managed to listen and implement Kruu's yelled orders during the rounds a couple of times. I didn't fight deaf to my corner, and that I'm very happy with.

2. I used combinations throughout.

3. I actually shielded kicks!

Things I need to work on:

1. My hands were dropped WAY too far down!! Very, very bad.
2. Charging. I rush my opponent and need to wait for them more.
3. Returning attacks off of my defense - need to do more.
4. Feet all strung out - a result of charging.
5. Kicks - I like kicking to the legs and don't seem to aim for the body enough.
6. Need more body shots and stop relying so much on right hooks.
7. More effective clinch position - knees weren't landing on target.

First amateur Muay Thai fight on Oct 13th!

Okay folks, the day we've all been waiting for is upon us! Well, the day I'VE been waiting for anyway!! Kruu got a call from L'Academie Sportif in Montreal on Wednesday and they need a female fighter at 150 lbs (68 kilos) for next Saturday, Oct 13th. It's a full weekend of fights, mainly boxing, but they are putting on an afternoon of Thai fights as well, which is going to be great! My first fight! I'm so fucking hyped up. As soon as Kruu Bob asked me, I agreed! He made sure to let me know that I've never been hit HARD and that I'd have to spar stupidly hard a few times to make sure I knew what it feels like to be rocked, but he was supportive! So away we go! Only issue is that I'm 5 lbs over 150 lbs so have to shed that weight this week. No problem. A few saunas and a bit of a food restriction and I should be fine. I am overly-hydrated most of the time, so losing a few lbs to water is not going to be a huge deal.

This is so amazing. I've been waiting for a fight for a while and am just raring to get in there and bang. My goal is a knock-out. No three rounds bullshit - that chick is going down HARD! Kruu Bob was giving me the low down on the plans for this week (training, eating, protection, etc.) and his main two instructions were:

1. "Rip her fucking head off!! Just go in there and rip it off!!"
2. Be calm, cool, confident, relaxed.

I like the "rip her fucking head off" part of it. That's hilarious. That's the plan!! If I can end this soon, prove that I can be calm and then unlease the power that both of us know I have, then it puts me in a good position to be fighting more in Quebec in the next while. The majority of the female fights in Ontario are sanctioned under CASK and since we won't join CASK, I have to start thinking outside the province. Or the USA. The next TBA Open will be in June and I definitely want to fight in that.

So!! This week it's all about protein, healthy carbs and losing weight. Wooo hoo! The last day I'm allowed to train is Tuesday, with light timing sparring on Wednesday. Then 2 full days off (which will of course be spent in anticipation!). Weigh-ins are Saturday morning at 10am, then I have 2.5 hours to rehydrate and eat. I fight at 12:30pm, in the red corner. Can't fucking wait! And Kruu Bob is coming down to corner for me, rather than one of our assistants, which is so amazing. Although it makes me very nervous! I don't want to disappoint him at all - want him to be proud of me and let me fight again for him!

This week is going to be brutal. Already, my mind is completely focused on the fight and nothing else. I'm in Sudbury right now, and when I go out for runs here, my mind turns off and goes into fight mode - shadow boxing during the 1 minute walk breaks, practicing footwork, etc. It's been hard being here and having to be eating healthy on a holiday weekend, not being able to have wine, etc. What's worse is having to ignore all the comments surrounding the fight, training, etc - the "why do you do this? why are you interested in fighting? why do you have a black eye and bruised up legs?". And the looks. The looks that I'm insane. No one here seems to understand why I do Muay Thai. At least at home my friends understand. Some of them don't like it, but they understand and would not think about expressing negative thoughts (unless they were as a joke).

Anyway, awesome!! 5 days til the fight. Can't wait. The girl I'm fighting doesn't have as much experience as me. But I'm not feeling cocky. I know better NOT to be cocky or I'll get knocked out. I plan to go in that ring, come out fighting, bang hard, knock her out, and then enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.

The gym I'm training at in Phuket, Thailand (Tiger Muay Thai) is going to find me a fight while I'm there as well. But that that point in time, I want to fight at 140 lbs (63 kilos). But that's a long way away. My nutritionist isn't sure I can be that light. That would put me at about 11% body fat, quite low for a female. 145 lbs is probably more realistic to be walking around at. Maybe 140 lbs with cutting water.

Okay, bed time here. I want to leave early to head back to Ottawa. More later!

No motivation for bitching lately. But training is going great!!!

Been a long time since I've written on here eh? I've wanted to, but for some reason have gone back to holding thoughts inside, not really sharing them. Why? Dunno. I guess because I'm not sure I want them read!!

It's been a long week, a tiring one, both work-wise and with training. Training and the nutrition is going great! Dropping 1.5-2 lbs per week, steadily. Yeah! I can't wait to be down to fighting weight, be able to wear a bikini in Thailand, etc. It's a slow process, but if it was fast, I'm sure I'd gain the weight back quickly. It's also hard work! My long runs have been up at 12 or 13 km, and I'm training at the gym every day except Sundays. I think I want to try a half-marathon in October. Also started hill running in the Gatineau Park, which is a hell of alot better than the hill at Strathcona Park where I was doing repeats! Yesterday, Kru suggested to me that I can go to the Oregon Muay Thai camp next summer (July). Yeah!! It's run by Ajarn Chai and other amazing instructors. That made me really, really excited! Today, he suggested I look at doing my test for Phase III! Woo hoo!!! I guess I'm doing ok! That made me feel really good, happy to know that I"m progressing to his standards. Yeah!!!

In the free moments, I've been Googling Thailand, trying to figure out travel schedules, where to visit in Bangkok before heading to Phuket, hotels, etc. I'm SOOOOOOOOO looking forward to leaving. I'm not sure my CWSF committee is happy, but I think it'll be ok. Kru's been handing me advice about where to shop, to stay, the Sky Train, etc. It's very helpful to have someone around who has been there many times.

I'm also trying to pack and get ready to move. I've thrown out so much shit!!! it's amazing how much crap can accumulate after 10 years. Been couch shopping too. I need a couch and a dining room set. Couch first though! I'm attempting to stay out of Ikea and be a real adult. :) I founda great dark red couch and chair at The Brick this afternoon that I'm thinking of getting. I'm going to wait to buy anything until I can get into the apartment, measure the living room space and figure out what will work best. The slanting roof in the living room is awesome, but it causes some space restrictions.

Fuck. I wound up in a bit of a pondering life discussion with a friend earlier this week. Usually, I'm all for bitching and complaining and soul-searching back and forth, but this time I just wasn't into it. I didn't feel like I'm needing to do that. It's not that I feel like is perfect by any means. It's more that I don't feel like exposing that side of my emotions right now. Like it's counter productive. I've not been feeling motivated to do much lately, except train, so maybe the idea of bitching about that isn't motivating either!!! Vicious circle? The other thing is that this friend of mine, who I love like a sister, puts up huge walls which are unsurmountable anyway and the last time I tried to break through, I got pummeled back and shut down. The sting of that experience has not gone away so I guess I'm being overly cautious to opening up emotional discussions. She doesn't realize how tightly wound and intimidating she can be at times. But it's such a front. Self-awareness is always the first step to healing yourself, realizing that the patterns in your life are predictable from your dysfunctional past.

rant about emails at work

Okay, so I just had a run-in with management... again!! I sent out an email asking for support for our Tabitha Foundation house building in Cambodia. I thought that with enough people from work, we could probably build one full house. A manager emails me back saying that this sort of email is against policy, and that I can have my email privileges provoked, etc. Oh for fuck's sake!!! Every day, we receive many emails that are not totally work-related! Who fucking cares who is having a baby, or going on maternity leave, or someone's relative died. Not trying to be uncaring or anything, but seriously, does it really affect every single one of us? No. Not in the slightest. I don't want these emails in my Inbox. I swear, this woman has a hit out for me. Fuckin' hell. I'm tempted to send her back a raving email, but then again, that would be playing with fire and, as I must continuously remember, I am a mere pion and cannot anger the gods that be in the upper levels. Seriously considering what my options are for next year...

On another, more positive note, check out our new Rockin4Tabitha blog: www.rockin4tabitha.blogspot.com and see what we're up to for the fall!!!

Working on a sunday

I actually voluntarily signed up to be "weekend manager" a while back so today I am working on a Sunday. Not a bad thing - but not many visitors so I have the time to catch up on a bit of work and random writing.

Standing up for a long time is not pleasant right now - I have a muscle knot underneath my left shoulder blade and it is killing me. I went and got a massage on Friday evening, and haven't trained since Wednesday, but it's not going away. I've tried hot baths, muscle relaxants, Aleve, but it won't loosen up. I guess it will sooner or later loosen up by itself, but until then, I'm suffering quite a bit. If it's not gone by mid week, I'll go and see my doctor.

Otherwise, it's been a quiet week. Joc put me onto Facebook so I finally signed up. It could be addictive though! The amazing thing is that it's put me back in touch with alot of people from both highschool, Science North and Laurentian. Howard's even come out of the woodwork! It's like a flash from the past on your computer screen. He's still in Ottawa actually, so I will try and see him soon. He's living with his girlfriend, which makes me a bit nervous (jealous?). How is it possible to still have those emotions for someone after 10-15 years? Crazy. It's so funny to see what is tucked away in a little corner of your mind that you don't deal with on a day to day basis.

ARgh. My back really hurts.

The boutique has fudge.

No no no no no!! Must stick to the diet. I came back after the 4 days at the cottage and had gained weight (4 lbs), which is not surprisingly given the amount of alcohol, fudge and other food, but it still pissed me off. I have another appointment with Beth for a body composition test next week and want it to show good progress.

Back really hurts. I just want to go home and soak in the bathtub.

I've had way too much coffee today. I've been looking through MLS listings for houses. There's one for sale in Hintonburg that is kinda cute! Old house, 2 bedrooms (one is a loft). I wonder if I could get a mortgage...

Back from birthday weekend at the cottage

Just got back from a long weekend at a friend's cottage, enjoying the sun, the beach, a few drinks, lots of laughs and the wonderful feeling of being able to relax and read and not worry about being in meetings! Abbey had a great time as well - who says you can't let Greyhounds off the leash? He was a really good boy, very well-behaved and only violated boundaries once or twice. He's come a long way since last year when I first brought him to the cottage. But then again, I had only had him a month at that time! He didn't even really know his name.

33 years old. I could sit here and take stock of the past year, but I think I will have to leave that til later this evening.

New tattoo

Ah, the long weekend is almost over. Long, long weekend actually, as I took Friday off as well. After a full week of meetings and union negotiations, a friday off was very welcome! But it's been a pretty quiet weekend. I had the opportunity to go and drink my face off on a patio, but declined as it's too much of a temptation on this diet. If I'm going to follow this diet fully, even one beer is too much of a temptation. I'm not sure what I'll do at Scott's cottage next weekend, but since it is my birthday weekend, I'm going to allow myself one or two drinks. :)

I stopped in at Planet Ink on Saturday and got the rest of my right arm tattoo finished - a set of Buddha eyes above the Tibetan script. Looks awesome! Hurts like a bitch though. All the colour meant alot of filling in and thus scraping back and forth across the skin. It's fantastic though.

I'll try and take a better photo of it when I can - it's hard to take a photo of your own arm! I was going to get it on the back of my neck, but I want to save that space for the sak-yant when I'm in Thailand.

Sitting around today, reading a book of travel stories from Thailand. This afternoon I'm going to go to Camp Fortune and do some hill running with the dog. Figured I should add some hills and interval training into my running schedule as long, slow distance running is only going to do so much good for Muay Thai training.

Mont Saint-Hilaire, and spa!!!

Today was spent driving all the way to Mont Saint-Hilaire and back, which is usually ok, but since collecting has been crap there for the last year or more, it was more just to show a colleague from the Smithsonian around. Nice day for it though, and it was interesting to see how much of the quarry they are just bulldozing around into nice neat piles!! And it was DEFINITELY better than yesterday spent in union negotiations!!! Wow, what a hellish procedure that is! Us against them. Will that ever end? I doubt it. I have discovered that my temper flares very easily when compromises are not offered. And when I discover the extent to the spineless, mollusk-type nature of people. Amazing. Completely amazing.

I treated myself to a relaxing evening and went to the Spa Nordik in Chelsea. It was great!!! Totally amazing. I did 4 full cycles of the baths - sauna (10 min), ice-cold waterfall (10 sec), rest (10 min), twice, and then the same but with the steam bath instead of the sauna. Oh my god, the steam room was brutal!! And what a shock to the system to stand under the ice cold water after being in a room that is basically treating you like a lobster and steaming you until you're fully cooked!! Completely awesome. I'm thinking of getting a 10-pass package which saves you $100 off the total cost. Very relaxing and I think that I'm going to try and go every 2 weeks. Definitely a good way to relax after the last week. I'm taking tomorrow off to recoup, sleep, etc. Looking forward to a long weekend.

Opening day of large mouth bass season

This weekend has started out to be the perfect weekend - relaxing with good friends, time spent outside in the sunshine, and later tonight, the finale of the "Ultimate Fighter"!!! Last night, I drove out to Clayton to Bob's house and spent the evening there, chatting and having a wee dram of scotch. Then off to bed fairly early, only to be woken up at 4:30am to go FISHING!!! I haven't been fishing since I was a teenager. Well, I've been deepsea fishing in the last years, once in PEI and once in Norway, but not fishing in a normal boat on a lake. So a few of us from work decided to go out for the opening of lg mouth bass season. I bought a new rod and reel yesterday, complete with a few lures, and was very much looking forward to using it today. Noel and I were partnered in the canoe together and had a great time, regardless of the 5am start time and too little coffee!!! We did alot of casting in the sunshine, fighting the current, and just had a great time being outside. I managed to catch one tiny lg mouth around 7am, threw it back. Noel caught a couple in that time frame. We finally managed to get to the lee side of one small island. I cast, and WHAM!! Got a hit and reeled in a 2 lb large mouth. Yeah!!! I was so happy - big enough for eating!!!


In total, we wound up with 2 lg mouth and one pike for breakfast. Joke put on a huge spread of food, we had champagne and orange juice, and settled in for a saturday brunch, complete with fresh-caught, pan-fried fish. It was soooooooo good. I love bass. The pike was good too. I must say, I had a great morning/afternoon.


The puppy is exhausted too - he spent the day meeting all sorts of new friends, eating the bones from the filleted bass, and wandering around the house catching all sorts of new smells. Mid afternoon, he just flopped on the porch and sunbathed. He was so good - stayed around us, listened to me when I asked him to come back to the porch, etc. He's flaked out on the couch right now. :)


Now I think I might go flake as well. I need a nap before UFC tonight!! I also need to do laundry in a big way. All my gym clothes are filthy. And there is fish guts and coffee all over my favorite sweatshirt...


I had Kali/Silat last night. Man, it's been a while since I've done Kali, and I haven't been practicing. I also hadn't practiced the Silat series of moves that Kru showed us 2 weeks ago. And he asked if we had, so I had to admit no. Ulp. I felt like shit!! I've got 2 of the series down, but the other two, I need help with. I think I'll have to get him to go through the moves again. I just don't catch on that quickly. Partially it's cuz I'm trying to learn CSW and Kali-Silat all at the same time as learning Muay Thai!! All my effort is going into Muay Thai. Kru told me on Tuesday that I have to jump in the ring and spar every chance I get. Yessir!!! Practice, practice, practice, to get comfortable, stay cool, be strategic.

the Rideau Lakes Tour - a synopsis

This past weekend was the 3rd time I have ridden the Rideau Lakes Tour, the Century version (100 km each way, Perth to Kingston and back). Saturday was a great ride - sunny, bright, hot, but bearable hot if you kept hydrated and moving. We did good time, average 25 km/h and had fun. That evening, we enjoyed a few beers in the cool cafeteria, and then went to shower/bath and cool off before supper. Interestingly enough, the dorm Scott and I were in didn't have any water!! I was on the 4th floor and found all the taps and toilets void of water. So I tried the 3rd floor and managed to have a bit of a 'shower' using the few droplets that I managed to squeeze from the bathtub tap!! Definitely not a satisfying experience! Especially when you are salt-encrusted and dirty!

We wound up going to "Chez Piggie" for supper, one of Kingston's best restaurants. It was fantastic! A couple of excellent bottles of wine (including the traditional Amarone), steak, asparagus appetizers, port and caramel-chocolate-nut tart for dessert, excellent company and conversation - what more could you ask for?! It was great. I definitely recommend Chez Piggie to anyone who goes to Kingston looking for good food. Bit pricey, but worth it.

That night was horrendous. I think I managed 15-30 min of sleep throughout the entire evening. For one, it was really hot and humid in my dorm room. Secondly, my shoulders were sunburned and ached when I rolled over (compounding with my rotator cuff issue in my left shoulder from CSW). What a brutal evening. I felt like shit in the morning. So did Bob, Glenn and Doug. Bob decided not to return with us, and Glenn almost didn't ride as well. Me? Well, I wasn't a happy camper, but started off okay and then got progressively less comfortable on the way. Along with certainly not having enough km's under my belt this year (400 km when I started the Tour, no where near enough), I forgot to lube my shorts and nether regions. About 20 km towards Perth, I started to feel the beginnings of a saddle sore. It got worse and worse, as did my mental state, and by 10 km outside of Westport, that was it. I knew I couldn't go on, physically or mentally. My ass was killing me - I couldn't sit down, couldn't pedal, so was reduced to holding my weight up with my hands on my profile bar pads. Brutal!!! I was miserable by Westport, but resigned and ok with the decision to stop there and sag-wagon home. I told Scott and he didn't pressure me to continue, which I was very appreciative of. I managed to catch the sag-wagon back to Perth, dragged my sorry ass back to my car and drove home to pick up the dog.

Ah well, not my best showing cycling, but that's life. Some days are better than others and you live with your defeat. I'm trying to keep the word "failure" out of my head and vocabulary, but it's hard. Trying to put it behind me. Now, I can concentrate on Muay Thai training. Yeah!! I started Beth's strict 2000 calorie diet first thing Monday morning, and am now working on a strict training plan as well. 5-10 km runs every 2nd day. Today, I ran 5 km and did extra work along the way by keeping my arms raised in a MT position. Talk about hard work!! My arms were aching by the time I got home. but I need to improve my shoulder and bicep muscles, endurance-wise, for the ring so I can keep my hands up.

Stuck in meetings tomorrow, which should be oh so much fun (insert sarcastic look here). I don't know what it is lately, I'm just uninspired and bored. Lots to do, but no urge to do it. I'm also needing alot of sleep so have been getting into work late, then attempting to do work in the evening.

I have managed to get ahold of the owner of the http://www.sak-yant.com/ website and have organized to see his Ajarn, sak master, while I'm in Bangkok, to get a sak yant. On top of it, he is going to buy me a new needle, so no fear of Hep or AIDS or any other nasty disease. I know it's going to be a great experience, I can't wait.

Here's a general map of where I'm headed - SouthEast Asia!! Flying into Bangkok.

Here's a more detailed map of where I"m headed. I plan to spend a few days in Bangkok, seeing the sites, visiting various Wats, and getting a sak yant tattoo. Then, I'm going to fly to Phuket and will be training at Sinbi Muay Thai Gym for 5 weeks. Yeah!!! From there, I fly back to Bangkok and plan to take a bus to the Thai-Khmer border at Poipet. Here, I can take a taxi to Siam Reap and spend time around Angkor Wat. I have to be in Phnom Penh by Feb 26th. I'll travel there by boat down Tonle Sap Lake. Then we will be building houses in a small village near Phnom Penh for the Tabitha Foundation for 3-4 days.