bonking

Today was the day of the bonk. Too few calories (or not enough of the good kind I think), too much training yesterday, and bam!! Hit the wall tonight at the gym. No power, no speed, no coordination, no positive attitude. Very bad. Just one of those days I guess. So I came home, replenished back to the calorie count I should be eating, and am hoping for the best tomorrow. I hate hitting the wall like that though. It's very unproductive. My plan tonight was to do Phase II and III classes, but that plan was thrown out the window after the first class. On top of it, we had to do punch pyramids with push-ups, and then 5-5-5, two rounds of it. What crap. My grandmother could kick harder than I was tonight!! Tomorrow's another day, hopefully with a better caloric intake. To top it off, my feet are falling apart - one broken toe (baby), two numb toes, and then one deep blister that exploded and has left my big toe in a mess. Hurts like hell, but should heal up pretty soon.

Training for a fight, prepping for a fight. It's brutal. Making weight, balancing nutrition with exercise output. It's difficult. It's as much mental as physical and requires both a huge committment and huge sacrifice, as well as the support of an entire gym. Everytime I step into the gym lately, my goal is to find someone to hold pads and train with me, someone who I know will push me hard and be able to give me what I need. That's not always easy either. Training for a fight is also quite a selfish endeavor, mentally and physically. It means I don't go out with friends to eat or drink, which has left me as somewhat of a hermit. Once the fights in Iowa are over, then I'll take a break for a bit. But I want to maintain the 145-150 lb weight, so will still have to watch what I eat.

I realize that watching my weight is something I'm always going to have to do. Eating and trying to lose weight for fights has taught me alot about my eating patterns!! I'm a stress eater, a bored eater, and when I am pms'ing all carbs in the house are fair game! I like eating. And it seems that when I actually do watch what I eat, I'm hungrier than ever! But I suspect that is more psychological than anything. I hate trying to make weight.