Better start to the week

It's only Monday, but it's a much better start to the week than the last. The weekend was actually enjoyable, even though Saturday was actually spent working. Sunday, I got my first "dive" in since Thailand - in a pool to fix a drain! However, it was fun, albeit slightly cold compared to the south Andaman Sea! It did give me the opportunity to practice the techniques required for suiting-up and diving, all the safety procedures. It was fun though, and fun to help out friends.

Today, I spent most of the day working on a new mineral species proposal, which meant talking to Andy and sorting out what is turning out to be a F-H2O-OH-CO3 problem. But it's always good talking to him - I miss seeing him regularly so I'm always happy to have the opportunity to chat with him.

Back on track with training today - a run at lunch and a Thai class this evening. I feel like my left kick has deserted me, but Kruu says it's ok. It was a rough class for me though - I felt "off" for the entire time, sluggish, and not moving. More girly too - feeling kinda wimpy. During one of the boxing drills, I kept moving in towards Mike, not out, away from his punches. I need to learn not to move in to my opponent but away, angling off, otherwise I'm going to be eating alot of hits!

My roller coaster emotions seem to be strongly controlled by the people around me, who I deal with on a day-to-day basis. But not just regular people - people whose opinions I value highly, and whose affirmation I need. I should be able to exist with being happy with myself, with gaining personal affirmation of my importance as a person, but it seems I'm incapable of that. I need positive reinforcement, people to be happy with me, to like me. I get very distraught when I think that my friends are unhappy or mad at me. I should be okay with my own self. Easier said than done.

Cryptic eh? The problem is that I'm having a battle within myself trying to sort out one relationship in particular but am trying to leave names out of it to protect the innocent. Grin! But I need to stop caring what other people think, no matter who it is (to an extent), and just live my life in the best possible way. Work hard, play hard, be happy with the way things are. That's my goal for the next while.