Thai demo and Italian wine

It's amazing how up and down emotions can be - a psychotic roller coaster. The last 24 hours have been really, really messed up. And I've come to realize that I do this to myself!! It's the snark in my head that seems to control how I'm feeling - the snark needs to find a new residence.


Yesterday, 4 of us went to the SuperEx and did a Muay Thai demonstration at one of the stages. Not many people there given it was a Friday afternoon, but we spent 45 minutes demonstrating all the techniques, the Ram Muay, and having a mock fight. An enjoyable way to spend the afternoon. I have a couple of passes to the Ex if I want to use them tomorrow. Although it really holds no interest for me - the rides make me hurl and the food is all shit that I want to stay away from starting this weekend.



Afterwards, I dropped the boys back at the academy and I stayed to hit the bags for a while, then do Kali. Kruu had me go through a 12-count Villebrille "chicken step" series. It makes my head hurt. There is something about the syncopation between the stick, dagger and my feet that just doesn't click with me. I had to break it down slowly - feet only, then hands only. But even then, it takes me forever to get the sequence looking somewhat smooth.


Last night, we had a mineralogy gang wine tasting over at Scott's place - Italian wines this time, with a 18 year old Port as the finisher. Long night!! I finally made it home around 1am, which, for me, is a really late night so this morning has been hard (especially since I'm working, babysitting a building). But it was nice to get together with the gang and have some fun. The minor headache this morning isn't so much fun though!

Between the wine tasting, squash on Thursday, and a good demo and session at the gym yesterday afternoon, I'm feeling alot better. How long that will last, that's the question and problem. Wild mood swings seem to be the order of the day lately. I have to stop worrying about what other people think. That's a huge problem I have. I get myself all worked up about what someone else might be thinking or feeling, and then everything turns out fine anyway. I always think the worst will happen. Eternal pessimist that I am. If I was able to just let the world unravel as it wishes too, without worrying, I would be better off. But no, the snark in my head starts to psychoanalyse every little detail, I think too much, and get myself into such a headstate that it starts affecting how I deal with others. Definitely a problem I need to sort out.

So today is Day 1 back on the wagon with food and training. No more Jelly Bellies. No more alcohol. No more shit food that doesn't offer me anything other than pleasure. Eating will be for nutrition and not pleasure. I want to get back down to 145 lbs at a normal rate, without my body going into shock and rejecting me. Today is Day 1. It's going to hurt, I know. It means detoxing my system of all the crap and carbs that I have been eagerly consuming for the last 6 weeks. Those cravings will take a while to curb. But I can do it. I've done it before.