Turmoil

I think I need to seek professional help, go back to my therapist. There is something just not right with me lately. I'm depressed, unhappy, anxious, binge eating out of unhappiness, unmotivated and unable to see anything positive in living life. It's not suicidal, I don't think. But I do question the reason and purpose for life in its current state. I don't know what's wrong - job? lack of relationship? training? friends? money? a combination of all of these?

Yesterday I got asked who pissed in my cornflakes the day previous. I knew I was not in a good mood, but didn't think it was that obvious. I guess it was. I know everyone says that mood is simply a matter of deciding to be happy, but seriously, is it that easy? I don't think so. Not for me anyway. I guess it's taking its toll on my relationships with others as well, and I can't let that happen. If I'm unhappy, there's no reason anyone else should be.

I suspect I'm pms'ing right now as I spent a good many hours last night psychoanalysing my relationship with one particular person. I think I expect too much out of my friends. Particularly my male friends. It's horrible! Right now, I'm in a very pissy state of mind and I know it's not doing me any good, but I've got a few issues that I really, really need to get out of my system. I think I'll do that in my paper journal as then I can burn the pages when I'm done with it!!! Whatever the case may be, I need to find some way out of this turmoil that I've been in lately.