"Music for Wilderness Lake" performed by the Wild Bones

“Music for wilderness lake”, the fall 2008 version, was a success. 12 trombones, one dark, cold morning, and a brave, hearty audience of 120 people on the beach. And it was a great time!! I wasn’t quite sure how this piece would work out, but it was actually alot of fun and sounded good!

I got into Sudbury on Thursday and went over to the school for rehearsal. Talk about homecoming!! Blair, Charlotte, Catherine, Mel and Marc. People I miss so much, who I have known for the majority of my life. It was fantastic. Especially seeing Marc as I haven’t seen him in at least 10 years. But he hasn’t changed! And I don’t think my feelings towards him have changed either – he can still smile at me and I get butterflies and feel giddy! I’ve missed him the most of all and it’s really unfortunate that we haven’t seen more of each other in the last years. Or this weekend – we haven’t had a chance to spend some time alone to talk and get caught up at all. And he’s going through a hard time, personally, right now – I’d like to sit down and talk and give him some comfort.

Friday I spent at the university with Andy – again, homecoming week at the department! Most of the profs kinda looked twice at me – like I both should and shouldn’t be there! But it was great to see everyone. I took Andy out for lunch while allowed us to get caught up, talk some science but mainly not. I miss having him around the corner as well. Email and phone just aren’t the same.

Friday evening we had a dress rehearsal on LU beach – man, it was friggin’ cold out there! The wind was nasty. But it gave us the chance to place ourselves around the lake, get an idea of how loud we had to play to hear each other, and discover the ins and outs of trying to turn pages when the wind is whipping your music around! But it was cool – we ran through both parts a couple of times, with the conductor in the middle of the lake waving around his flags. A dress rehearsal was a definite must – it was very different than playing it inside in a classroom where you can see everyone!!

5:30am this morning came very, very quickly!! And it’s very dark out here at 5:30am – darker than in Ottawa given that we are quite a bit further north-west. I got dressed (in multiple layers, using running tights are long johns!), let the dog out for a pee, and then stumbled off to the car to search out a Timmy’s for a much-needed hot coffee. Arriving at Laurentian, there were two cars in the parking lot, and Charlotte pulled up right behind me. We all donned our headlamps, gloves, and made the trek out to the beach. Pitch dark. Amazingly, there were already 2 people in lawn chairs waiting on the beach with flashlights!! Within 10 minutes, our ensemble, the Wild Bones, started to arrive and to manoeuvre into position around the lake, being careful not to get a soaker in the dark! After a bit of warming up, we started to notice more canoes and kayaks on the lake, including our conductor and the soprano soloist who performed a piece between “Dawn” and “Dusk”.

The piece went really well - the echo from the various parts around the lake was really cool, and we all played well. From what I could tell anyway!! It's difficult to play the piece and be a judge of how it sounded - I think you'd have to be on the beach or in the middle of the lake to get a full appreciation of the music.

The soprano soloist did a strange vocal piece that meddled well with the Schaffer piece - more tonal, native calls. It gave us a chance to take in some coffee, rest, and try and get an idea of how many people were on the beach in the audience. I counted 95 on the beach, but there were more people on the lake in boats, and behind us on the rocks. Altogether, 125 brave, hearty souls showed up for our performance - amazing!!!

After we played "Dawn", it was truly light and dawn had broken. Clapping and a few whoops from the audience was our reward! We quickly moved back to the beach, convened for a short time, and made the trek back to our cars in the parking lot so that we could return all the music stands and head to Perkins for much-needed coffee and warm food. I've never played a concert before where breakfast was the meal to be had after the performance! Ususally it's drinks and a late supper!!

Perkins was a great time - it gave me a chance to sit and talk with Marc, Blair, and Catherine. On top of it, Dick and Roger were both there!! My emotional reaction to seeing them shocked me - I was almost tearful. I saw them and ran over right away, gave them both a big hug and chatted for a while. That's when it really started to hit me with full force - I really, really, REALLY miss my musician friends. I was so happy to sit with them, play in the group, and generally just feel completely accepted and also missed. They kept suggesting that I should get a job in Sudbury so we can all hang out and play together again. And you know what ? The thought wasn't too offensive. If it wasn't for the nightmares and skeletons that follow me around everytime I go to Sudbury, I would go back. I miss the music geeks and Andy. They are all a HUGE part of my life and having to come and go every few months, playing with them once in a while, makes me very sad. Andy at least I see every once in a while, whether here or in Sudbury, and we talk on the phone and by email all the time. But playing with the gang is something entirely different. It is an integral part of who I am.

Some conversations were a shock. Talking with Marc was very hard as he's going through alot of personal problems and I feel so bad for him. I also realized that, even after 10 years, my feelings for him have not diminished. He's goofy, funny, cute, and he can still make me weak and giddy with just a smile.

I know I can't live in Sudbury, for my own emotional and mental health, and for my career. Thus, I have to be happy with the short times I spend there and start playing my trombone more here in Ottawa. I need to find a group to play with. It will never be the same, it can't, not when you've grown up with a certain group of people, but at least it will help me get back into shape and learning more music.